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- Heinie and Louie read that Professor Waldemar Flubdub of London is on his way to this country with "Skylight Sleep," a new anaesthetic. It is then determined in council assembled that they will board the steamer down the bay and relieve the Professor of his medicine. This is accomplished in due time, and they then set about administering the drug to anyone who shows the slightest inclination for it. They are reaping a harvest and are on the high road to wealth when their well-laid plans go astray. And only because the Honorable Flubdub is rescued from the unusual position in which he is found in his stateroom, tied hand and foot. Irate Prof. makes his way ashore and soon runs into the two heroes with his most cherished discovery, which they are using with the greatest abandon. A call for the police soon puts them in their right place, and the last seen of the two noted "surgeons" is when they are being lugged off with little ceremony to the nearest lockup.
- Heinie and Louie wake up under the spreading filbert tree, and consult on how best to extract from a reluctant world the living so long withheld from them. They are surprised when a dainty slipper lands at their feet, with the following message neatly inserted: "We are two sisters, one fair, the other homely. Neither of us may marry unless the other one does. If you are game, come tomorrow at noon. You will find both heavily veiled. One of you will get the fair one. Here's hoping you both win." The boys have the true gambler's instinct, and decide to risk it, each trusting in Providence to cast his lot with the fair one. They get dolled up and meet the tremulous brides, who are dressed exactly alike, and heavily veiled. The fatal knots are tied, and Louie, raising his veil to either kiss or say howdedo to his bride, discovers he picked the winner. It's needless to say what Heinie discovers. The boys then find themselves proprietors of a milk bottling station, and take immediate charge. Louie, made ambitious by his recent luck, proceeds to take charge of the girl engaged in capping the bottles, and his fair wife, catching him at his tricks decides to make up to Heinie, and be revenged. She and Heinie, have a pretty soft time of it for a while, when the girls' cousin Reggie, a social scandal hound, spies them and gets out an extra early edition on it. Louie then pursues his old side kick, with intent to kill, and Heinie lands up in a doctor's office to have his nerves overhauled. His run has made him dry, and he tries something sweet smelling out of a convenient bottle, and is quite put out to find it poison. The doctor says that nothing but milk will save him, and Heinie starts his race for life to his milk station, where he meets up with more side-splitting complications than there is room to tell of here.
- Heinie gains an entree to the upper crust and although for a while he resembles a bull in a social china chop, he finally lands home with a batting average of 500.
- Louie gets an idea. He tells Heinie he will marry an heiress. He does and leads her to the altar in her own drawing room. Getting sore at the wedding because the best man kisses the bride, Louie swats him. They clinch and destroy the wedding supper. Louie sneaks out on the porch and is kidnapped by serenaders and carried twenty miles away. On his way back he meets Heinie and a pal who insist on food. Louie invites them home with him. They steal a goose for the occasion. Arriving home, they cook the goose without cleaning it. It blows up, fills the house with smoke and feathers, and wakes the family. The cop, who has seen them steal the goose, arrests Louie. Heinie and the bum escape and Louie, seeing that the jig is up, dives through the window and beats it. Rejoining Heinie, they go to the country, following the road called "Nowhere."
- Carrying on a socialistic discussion between themselves, Heinie and Louie arrive at the conclusion that the world owes them a living. But a passing sprinkling cart causes a sudden cessation of the conversation. However, out of the mire, Louie rises to meet "a millionaire's daughter." All this excites the envy of Heinie and he sheds tears. He who laughs last laughs best, however, and the next day the inconsolable one dons his best and sallies forth in pursuit of the fair lady. He captures her, and she is apparently so smitten with him that she forgets Heinie. The latter then announces to her his intentions of committing suicide, and she urges him to make a good job of it. He tries the drowning route with rocks tied to his neck, but some men on the dock prevent him. He then hires a desperado to kill him at midnight, but Louie is in the bed alone and receives the murderer's knife, on a loaf of bread he had taken for safe-keeping. They make up later and celebrate it with a dinner, but at the restaurant they meet their lady, who introduces them to her husband. They then gently sink their heads beneath the waves.
- Heinie and Louie have managed to get possession of a rusty steed which they have dressed up in overalls and are out for a morning canter through the park. But as much as they like the handsome animal, they feel that their crying need for cash must overcome any sentimental reasons for keeping him. Then they sell him to a band of nomads and with the cash received invest in a prosperous shoe shining emporium. They go along fairly well, getting into but a few fights, one of which was started when Louie puts black polish on white shoes, and are on the road to success when their run of good luck breaks. The Prune sisters, well known social lights in the neighborhood, are on a shopping tour when they realize that their shoes are badly in need of a little polish. Now, before they started out Mabel put her roll in the First National Bank of Womankind, her silk lisles. So, while applying the polish, Heinie spies the roll and grows much elated thereat. He tells Louie to keep at work on the shoes while he gets the razor which they keep on hand for just such emergencies. This instrument he plies with neatness and dispatch and relieves Miss Prune of her cash. The victim fails to realize her loss until she has gone some distance, but she goes back to the emporium and demands the arrest of the two captains of the pedal polishing industry. They are then taken into custody and are put at the usual rock-breaking game. But their stay here is rather short and they manage to escape in the most novel manner.
- Heinie and his pal crawl out from the sewer from where they have spent the night. They decide that the world owes them a living, and go to find it. They bamboozle a boarding house landlady into giving them a room for which they promise to pay her that afternoon. They raid the kitchen for food, but are caught. Then they try to get away with a trunk filled with the fixings of the room. They are again captured and put to work in the kitchen, helping the cook. As usual, they start things which end in a smashup all around, and a gentle ride down the street with the officer of the law.
- Heinie and Louie manage to steal a good-size gun from a local "three balls" shop and take it up the trail to Nimrod. Mrs. Flyhigh, a well-known society leader of the neighborhood, is out taking the air the same afternoon and runs afoul of a footpad. The latter is in the act of robbing the fair lady, when the gun, which Heinie happens to be cleaning at the moment, explodes and wounds the desperado, causing him to take to his heels. Of course, Heinie "saves" the lady's life with a well-directed shot, and although that was not his intention when the gun went off, he receives full credit for it. She takes him to her home and is giving him the proper adulation that heroes are wont to receive, when Louie, who has been left out in the cold, runs for Mr. Flyhigh, telling him that his wife is entertaining a stranger. Friend husband runs for his gun and Louie, to help along the good work, buys a bomb at a local bomb factory. This he hurls into the once-happy home and blows it to atoms.
- Heinie and Louie come upon a person and a large bag. In accordance with their time-honored custom, they steal the bag and rush off with it to the nearest hostelry, which happens to be a "ladies' only" establishment. Heinie and Louie never have been in a "ladies' only" hotel before and feel that their young lives have been wasted. They open their stolen bundle and find it contains a bomb, which Heinie with characteristic caution cleverly conceals beneath a mass of papers in the trash basket in Louie's room. Louie comes in, sits down, takes out cigarette. Match, basket, bomb, boom. After making his way through many walls and ceilings, Louie finds himself in Heinie's lap. Heinie has no kick coming, though, because he himself is using someone's lap, and Heinie and Louie are the only two men in the place. He has no regard for life, particularly Louie's, and drops his henchman out of the window. Louie, the luckless, lands on the collaborating beans of two detectives in search of a bomb-thrower. Louie, to get even, says Heinie is the only bomb-thrower he knows, and the sleuths go after the heinous one. Here things get very complicated and look bad for the boys until the only real, original, endorsed bomb-thrower is caught and dragged off to the lockup.
- A mischievous boy, who is always causing trouble pretends to have a sore arm and asks a worthy citizen to ring a door bell. The worthy citizen soon learns, to his discomfort, that the inmates of the house are tired of the boy's nonsense and he is the recipient of certain articles meant for the boy, which, of course, tickles the lad. Ten years pass. The boy, a fine looking young man, falls in love with a girl, and upon being told to "ask papa," confronts the aforementioned worthy citizen who immediately recognizes the mischievous boy, who is unceremoniously ushered out. To gain access to the house he disguises himself as a handsome young widow and is annoyed to find the worthy citizen becoming "mushy. " Many ludicrous complications arise and the young man experiences grave difficulties before he finally wins the fair damsel's hand.
- "Heinie," the "masked marvel" who, to convince the lady of his love that he had prowess beyond that of all other men, entered the arena, and from its mat challenged the world. But "Heinie" is far seeing. In collusion with his partner in crime, "Louie," he rigs up a mechanical device whereby "Louie," behind the scenes, at a signal from "Heinie" presses a button that releases a spike in the center of the floor, which spike punctures the spinal column of the wrestler over it, and so makes him unfit for further dispute. Jack, another aspirant for the hand of the fair dame in the case, also enters the lists. Heinie's stunt works well, and in some screamingly funny bouts he manages to disable four of his most feared rivals. "Louie," behind the scenes, made careless by the easy success of his button pushing work, falls asleep, and when he awakes instinctively pushes the button. But alas, "Heinie" is over the spike at that moment and takes the count. Then Jack puts the other contenders wise, and "Heinie" and "Louie" show better form as sprinters than they have in any of their previous accomplishments.
- This film. It presents a funny mix-up of babies, and the only jarring note is where an automobile is seen to run into a baby carriage which has started on its way downhill alone. - The Moving Picture World, January 23, 1915
- Heinie finds a ticket to the big show and to prove "you can't fool Heinie," declares that the magic man is not a real "magicer" at all but a bush league faker. He starts something he can't finish, and gives the audience a highly amusing number not on the bill.
- Heinie and Louie rescue a fair dame who tells them her life's history. She is hooked up with a John who thinks women an inferior sex, and she resents it. In fact, she resents it so much that she tells our heroes that she'll give them $5,000 to do away with him, to which the gallant Heinie, always ready to help a lady in distress (for a consideration) answers: "Consider yourself a vidow." The boys write a decoy note to the caveman and get him to their rooms, where they truss him up. They then go and tell friend wife that they come to officially announce that they will kill her husband at midnight, as per specifications. Then they go back, and the surprise that awaits them, well, better see the picture.
- Heinie and Louie follow Mabel into a soda emporium. As she leaves and is asked for her cash, she tells the waiter that her friends will pay, but they are not very enthusiastic about the invitation. They finally leave the place and camp on Mabel's trail, which leads to a gymnasium where she is working out for reducing purposes. They are persuaded to sign up to appear at an entertainment to be given some days later. The eventful night rolls around and they are introduced to a packed house. A wrestling bout opens the fun. Heinie starts off with the famous nose hold, and gets a grip on Louie's "beak," angering the worthy so much that he retaliates with the famous toe hold. This is not sufficient and he is compelled to resort to a hold of his own invention, which he calls the "tickle" grip. This consists in tickling Heinie under the armpits and causes him to fall heavily to the mat, a beaten gladiator. They then start a ten round bout. The manly art of self-defense as portrayed by these two doesn't appeal, so the contest is stopped. The two contestants echo the sentiments of the audience and realize that as athletes they are frosts.
- Heinie and Louie become fortune tellers. Heinie tells the fortune of a very rich woman. In the fortune the queen is supposed to be attacked by thugs and rescued by a hero. Heinie describes Louie as the hero. Louie later plans a bogus hold-up so that he may win the good graces of the lady which he does. She lavishes him with money until it so terminates that the rich lady is none other than the Pearl Queen, a notorious thief. Louie becomes involved to a painful degree as an accomplice, affording amusing complications.