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- In Bombay, Count Adolphe elopes with Vasca, although engaged to a lady in Rome. In that city two years later the Roman lady's father hears of Adolphe's wife and child. He sets the Black League to work. As a result, the young wife is met by death. The baby daughter is abandoned. The deed is committed by Michael, a confidential servant of the Roman lady. Adolphe eventually marries the Roman lady and Michael becomes their butler. Twenty years later Adolphe, now the Duke of Torini, for the first time receives news of his daughter. He sends his secretary to Bombay to fetch her. The young couple falls in love. The mind of Michael is unhinged by the sight of the young lady, and in his temporary insanity he tells the Duke where the proofs of his crime are to be found. The Duke finds the papers, sends them to his secretary, Genovo, makes his will in favor of his daughter, Zania, and dies of heart disease. Michael, having no knowledge of what he said or did in his delirium, thinks the proofs have been taken by Zania. The father of the duchess is compromised by the missing papers, so Michael confides in her. They seek the help of the Black League. Zania cannot give up the papers she has not got. She is kidnapped and taken to the Tower of Terror. Then next morning Genovo, her lover, sets out to rescue her. He discovers where she is and has a terrific fight with her jailer. In the struggle a lantern is upset, and the place set on fire, and the jailer meets his death. Genovo reaches his sweetheart, but escape is cut off by the fire. They get free by climbing down a tower over 200 feet high, the most sensational feat ever shown in a film. The Duchess and Michael arrive at the Tower of Terror just as the fire reaches some powder barrels, and the guilty couple are blown to bits.
- Heinie and Louie run afoul of a sort of Utopia in which only women reside. There are female cops and all other officials of the town are of that sex. Men are barred under pain of death, so when our two heroes are observed wandering along the main thoroughfare of the burg they are immediately spotted and pursued by the entire police force and captured. After being subjected to the spanking machine and the water cure, they are locked up in cells, but the novelty of having males in the neighborhood appeals to the mayoress and sheriffess, and they take the captives to their home for dinner. But even this hospitality has no effect on their guests, and the latter rob their hostesses of the contents of the safe. However, some time later their absence is discovered by the cops and they are tracked down to the home of the mayor, where they are given a terrific beating and cast to the four winds.
- Heinie and Louie in their determination to make the world come to terms with them over the food question, make us laugh very heartily. When a young man comes to the barn in which they are sojourning, to secret some negotiable notes, Heinie and Louie very promptly attempt to assassinate him in their greedy efforts to get the money. They get it, and spend it. The first dent is made by the feed bill and a carpet sweeper to wheel it home on. They read that M. Parrot would pass up his hairdressing parlor for a small consideration; they investigate and buy. Thereupon feeling that they are in a class by themselves when it comes to crimping up the ladies, they discharge the help and wield the curling-irons in great fashion. But one unusually good looking lady comes along, and then there is no further peace in the family. Dueling may be out of vogue with the most of us, but not so with these extraordinary characters. They kill their seconds and then under heavy fire, Heinie shows a yellow streak and takes to his heels with Louie in hot pursuit. They again form an alliance for their common defense when the disgruntled fashion-chasers mob them. Back to the barn for Heinie and Louie.
- Heinie, now happily married, is engaged in removing such particles of dirt from the carpet as a broom in the hands of a novice will remove. While he conscientiously studies the art of street cleaning by mail, his most loving better half prepares the grub. The most awkward of men, he bumps against the tray of food which his wife fetches to him, giving himself another lesson in his chosen art and no nourishment with which to continue his muscle wrecking studies. He proceeds to the delicatessen for more bologna. Meanwhile Louie stands all alone holding up the side of a shack, in which a band of kidnappers are plotting. They hear his breathing and open the door very suddenly. Thereafter Louie is one of them and steals a child just as Heinie marches home with the luxuries. Heinie sees him and pursues him into the shack, where he neatly cleans up the clan and takes the baby home. Louie squeals to the police with the result that Heinie goes to jail. The imitation zebra make a getaway and Heinie comes home to make a counter charge against Louie. Louie is found guilty and loses his precious liberty. Heinie returns to his domicile to comfort his weeping wife.
- Heinie and Louie learn that a high-priced mechanical doll is about to be sent from abroad to Mrs. R.U.A. Nutt, so they figure that they may as well get in on the good thing. Accordingly, Louie is "all dolled up" to represent the mechanical wonder and is brought to Mrs. Nutt's home. They manage to get away with it for a while, but later on, Slippery Jim, who has also fallen for the mechanical doll stuff, brings one of his own. The two dolls meet each other and their antics are most ludicrous. But finally the real doll makes its appearance and the plotters are put to rout.
- Heinie gains an entree to the upper crust and although for a while he resembles a bull in a social china chop, he finally lands home with a batting average of 500.
- A simple little ad in a newspaper starts this rollicking episode of Heinie and Louie. They read that Miss Bella Donna requires the services of two strong men and immediately apply for the place. Said place consists in guarding a safe which they are told contains a bunch of jewelry valued at a million dollars. They learn that the jewels are to be called for by an aunt of Bella, whom the young lady has never seen. This last part appeals to their sense of humor. "Why don't we try for these jewels?" they reason between themselves. Well, they do, all right. It is decided in council assembled, that Louie should dress up as they imagine an old aunt should regale herself and offer herself to the unsuspecting Miss Donna as her unseen relative. Louie comes in with that outfit on and is given a great reception. This is rather a novel sensation for him and when he is escorted in to dine, he is just wreathed in smiles. Then an automobile ride is suggested and his joy knows no bounds. But while he is out, the real aunt arrives and Heinie is left at home to receive her. This he does, but it is a rather rough welcome that she receives, for he hits her on the head and drags her upstairs, where she is tied hand and foot. That evening, a reception is given in honor of the aunt, and Louie is the center of attraction. "So far, so good," he thinks as he looks longingly at the safe. Then the jewels are handed to him with much ceremony. But meanwhile the real aunt is getting madder and madder at the treatment she has received and manages to free herself from her bonds. Then she rushes downstairs in full cry and lands in the middle of Louie's party. Bella is incensed at the treatment accorded her by the men she has befriended and they are both sent sailing out of the window, a wiser team than before.
- Laughing gas escapes and gets right down into the audience. Heinie and Louie see to that. The usually impecunious Louie tries to look unconcerned with money sticking out of his every pocket. Heinie tries to get in "touch" with Louie, but the modern Monte Cristo learned his English in a different school. All Louie will lend is his ear, which Heinie proceeds to fill with questions, the burden of which is, "Where did you get it? What are you going to do with it?" To which Louie answers, "I made idt. It looks real, nichtwahr? I vas going tzoon to haf gwide a bull vith efer tzo much beoples. Chust tdo. your pest tdo look your voorst und ve can poth pe bainless, nein?" Heinie agrees to try, and Louie exchanges his counterfeit cash for a dental parlor. Business starts with a toothsome flapper who's had a dog's life of it with her canines. Louie thinks some gas will make his job lighter, and proceeds to turn it on. He's no piker, this Louie, and soon has the flapper effectually asleep. But the gas, tired of its cramped life and desirous of escaping, blows the top out of its container, and playfully does some denting on its own account. The former proprietor discovers Louie's money is homemade and comes back to get it changed. On the way, he falls in with a squad of police, and together they make for the parlor, where, with the young flapper's sweetheart they start to "treat" the gasmen in the good old painful way. The cops suggest a lead filling, but Heinie and Louie, remembering the gas, make good their escape.
- Heinie and Louie manage to steal a good-size gun from a local "three balls" shop and take it up the trail to Nimrod. Mrs. Flyhigh, a well-known society leader of the neighborhood, is out taking the air the same afternoon and runs afoul of a footpad. The latter is in the act of robbing the fair lady, when the gun, which Heinie happens to be cleaning at the moment, explodes and wounds the desperado, causing him to take to his heels. Of course, Heinie "saves" the lady's life with a well-directed shot, and although that was not his intention when the gun went off, he receives full credit for it. She takes him to her home and is giving him the proper adulation that heroes are wont to receive, when Louie, who has been left out in the cold, runs for Mr. Flyhigh, telling him that his wife is entertaining a stranger. Friend husband runs for his gun and Louie, to help along the good work, buys a bomb at a local bomb factory. This he hurls into the once-happy home and blows it to atoms.
- Heinie and Louie have managed to get possession of a rusty steed which they have dressed up in overalls and are out for a morning canter through the park. But as much as they like the handsome animal, they feel that their crying need for cash must overcome any sentimental reasons for keeping him. Then they sell him to a band of nomads and with the cash received invest in a prosperous shoe shining emporium. They go along fairly well, getting into but a few fights, one of which was started when Louie puts black polish on white shoes, and are on the road to success when their run of good luck breaks. The Prune sisters, well known social lights in the neighborhood, are on a shopping tour when they realize that their shoes are badly in need of a little polish. Now, before they started out Mabel put her roll in the First National Bank of Womankind, her silk lisles. So, while applying the polish, Heinie spies the roll and grows much elated thereat. He tells Louie to keep at work on the shoes while he gets the razor which they keep on hand for just such emergencies. This instrument he plies with neatness and dispatch and relieves Miss Prune of her cash. The victim fails to realize her loss until she has gone some distance, but she goes back to the emporium and demands the arrest of the two captains of the pedal polishing industry. They are then taken into custody and are put at the usual rock-breaking game. But their stay here is rather short and they manage to escape in the most novel manner.
- Heinie finds a ticket to the big show and to prove "you can't fool Heinie," declares that the magic man is not a real "magicer" at all but a bush league faker. He starts something he can't finish, and gives the audience a highly amusing number not on the bill.
- For the trivial offense of sprinkling plaster ceiling over a neighbor's breakfast, Heinie and Louie are dispossessed without notice, and forced to seek the refuge of a convenient cellar. Here they overhear three burglars planning to rob the house, and in their fright at being so near such wicked people try for a noiseless exit. But they can't even steal away with the cracksmen around, and after a thrilling chase are caught and strung up by the heels to a steampipe. Hanging that way isn't what it's strung up to be, however, and after a brief session our heroes untie and rearrange themselves, right end up. They then spy the burglars' professional tools, and it slowly dawns on them that, though inexperienced, they might use them to considerable advantage. Of course they upset the frijoles (which is slang for "spill the beans"), but they do it in such a ludicrous way that it makes one quite forget their clumsiness.
- Heinie and Louie follow Mabel into a soda emporium. As she leaves and is asked for her cash, she tells the waiter that her friends will pay, but they are not very enthusiastic about the invitation. They finally leave the place and camp on Mabel's trail, which leads to a gymnasium where she is working out for reducing purposes. They are persuaded to sign up to appear at an entertainment to be given some days later. The eventful night rolls around and they are introduced to a packed house. A wrestling bout opens the fun. Heinie starts off with the famous nose hold, and gets a grip on Louie's "beak," angering the worthy so much that he retaliates with the famous toe hold. This is not sufficient and he is compelled to resort to a hold of his own invention, which he calls the "tickle" grip. This consists in tickling Heinie under the armpits and causes him to fall heavily to the mat, a beaten gladiator. They then start a ten round bout. The manly art of self-defense as portrayed by these two doesn't appeal, so the contest is stopped. The two contestants echo the sentiments of the audience and realize that as athletes they are frosts.
- The widow's pies disappear from her back fence. The deacon, rival with the farmer for the widow's hand, sees a chance to put his rival out of the running. He takes a pie and a bottle of chloroform to the farmer's room and when the rival lover enters, he puts him to sleep and rubs pie all over his face. In the process of making the farmer out as the pie stealer, the deacon drops his watch which is picked up by a tramp hiding under the bed. The farmer is convicted and put into prison. The tramp is sent to prison, too. He recognizes the farmer, who knows nothing about why he has thus been rudely cast behind the bars, and divulges the deacon's plot. The farmer and the tramp are released and hasten to the widow's house, where they arrive just in time to break up a happy little wedding party. The watch proves the tramp's tale, and the farmer and the deacon exchange places.
- "Heinie," the "masked marvel" who, to convince the lady of his love that he had prowess beyond that of all other men, entered the arena, and from its mat challenged the world. But "Heinie" is far seeing. In collusion with his partner in crime, "Louie," he rigs up a mechanical device whereby "Louie," behind the scenes, at a signal from "Heinie" presses a button that releases a spike in the center of the floor, which spike punctures the spinal column of the wrestler over it, and so makes him unfit for further dispute. Jack, another aspirant for the hand of the fair dame in the case, also enters the lists. Heinie's stunt works well, and in some screamingly funny bouts he manages to disable four of his most feared rivals. "Louie," behind the scenes, made careless by the easy success of his button pushing work, falls asleep, and when he awakes instinctively pushes the button. But alas, "Heinie" is over the spike at that moment and takes the count. Then Jack puts the other contenders wise, and "Heinie" and "Louie" show better form as sprinters than they have in any of their previous accomplishments.
- Heinie and Louie decide to get married. They strike a snag, however, when they each decide to marry the same girl. Heinie and Louie are anything but sentimental, and their choice is governed by the girl's earning capacity. Louie nips in first, and gets the girl's promise just before Heinie proposes. Black rage is in Heinie's heart and he decides to get even. Disguised as a waiter, he goes to Heinie's wedding carrying a large cake well loaded with gunpowder. Just before the knot is tied, the deep plotting Heinie. from his vantage place on the floor above, deluges the whole party with hundreds of gallons of water. After the soaking, the guests decide to dine "a-la-bedsheet," and robe themselves accordingly. The dinner is considerable "blow-off," especially when Heinie's ambitious cake is cut into. Heinie is unmasked, but defends himself with the assurance that Louie put him up to it. The window is the nearest and out of it Heinie and Louie make their speedy exit.
- Those two politicians, diplomats, envoys, arbitrators, soldiers of fortune, and general good-for-nothings, Heinie and Louie, are confided in by an irate father, and promised $1,000 should they succeed in breaking his daughter's leg, to save her reputation. This may sound queer, so be it known at the outset, that Mabel, the daughter, has aspirations to become a ballet dancer, and the Old Man has a desire to make her "toe the line," in quite a different way, however, and even at the expense of making her toe it with a broken leg. Heinie and Louie accept before they hear the proposition, the matter of a broken leg or two only serving to make their work more interesting. They invade the ballet school, make way with the master, and proceed to take charge in order to carry out their crooked work. The sight of some of the future ballet sensations, leads Heinie to remark "der human knee iss not a blace of amusement; it's a joint," and they proceed with their raid. After a funny bone-cracking struggle, they finally manage to clamp Mable's leg to the table, and are doing their darndest to make it a two-piece affair between the knee and the ankle, when Mable's beau, and a cop arrive, and they are routed. They rush off to get a "leg-up" on the one thousand "bones," and just collect when Mable arrives and proves to her father that her "understanding" is still perfect. Heinie and Louie, as usual, almost win.
- The honorable Heinie again shouts that the world owes him and his partner a living and that they must get it. Comfortably resting under some hay in a stranger's barn-loft, they are rudely disturbed by a pitchfork in the hands of the stranger. Forcibly ejected from the loft via the air route, they escape the necessity for arnica by landing in a cistern. With a fire nicely burning and their clothing set to dry, Heinie engages in a game of solitaire and Louie, reading the news of the day before notices that the wealthy Mrs. Moore has decided to purchase the "Black Statue" from one Prof. Weiss. Heinie, a man possessing great powers of control, is immediately given a coat of liquid black with trousers to match. Properly packed, Heinie is brought to the house of the wealthy Mrs. Moore, but the fond embraces of the women prove his powers of resistance to be nil, and he and his companion Louie must needs retreat. And then he awakens, from a dream.
- Whoever it was wrote "troubles never some single," must have been inspired by the checkered career of Heinie and Louie. We'll have to start this story with Mrs. Walter Blister, instead of with Heinie and Louie, because if she had never been entrusted with a magnificent emerald by her husband, she wouldn't have set out for the jeweler's, and if she hadn't set out for the jeweler's, she wouldn't have dropped her bag going there. And if she had never dropped her bag going there, why, they would never have stolen it and this story wouldn't been. But she was, and she did, and so did they, and there you are. Heinie and Louie made way with the bag securely wrapped in a lump of baker's dough. But here comes the complication. A baker and a cop, in full cry after a thief who'd just stolen some kneaded dough, come upon our luckless pirates, and take from them their dough, which wasn't his at all. With it goes the silver bag, and the emerald in it. The baker, satisfied, goes back to his oven and proceeds to bake the dough into bread. Heinie and Louie down to their last nickel, buy a loaf of bread, and find in it, yes, you guessed it. But this is not the last of it by a long shot. Heinie and Louie do not, of course, keep the emerald. But their attempts to make a one-reel comedy of unusual gaiety.
- A mischievous boy, who is always causing trouble pretends to have a sore arm and asks a worthy citizen to ring a door bell. The worthy citizen soon learns, to his discomfort, that the inmates of the house are tired of the boy's nonsense and he is the recipient of certain articles meant for the boy, which, of course, tickles the lad. Ten years pass. The boy, a fine looking young man, falls in love with a girl, and upon being told to "ask papa," confronts the aforementioned worthy citizen who immediately recognizes the mischievous boy, who is unceremoniously ushered out. To gain access to the house he disguises himself as a handsome young widow and is annoyed to find the worthy citizen becoming "mushy. " Many ludicrous complications arise and the young man experiences grave difficulties before he finally wins the fair damsel's hand.
- Those two stepchildren of Fortune, Heinie and Louie, can't be dissuaded from the idea that "diss voild owes us a lifing," and are constantly on the lookout to catch said world napping, and collect. They find a house afire and Heinie, with nothing to lose, starts in to save something, if it's only a lunch. It's the living representative of a large fortune, however, and she's charming besides. For Heinie's heroism she gets him a job as janitor in the office building of her rich brother. As a janitor, Heinie proves a dismal failure, and everybody in the place feels his lack of experience. Louie meanwhile gets mixed up with a slick gent who goes to burglarize the office of Heinie's benefactor. Heinie is in the office and a battle of wits ensues in which Heinie, as usual, in a two-man conflict, comes off second best. As the picture ends, the world is still the debtor of Heinie and Louie.
- Heinie and Louie come upon a person and a large bag. In accordance with their time-honored custom, they steal the bag and rush off with it to the nearest hostelry, which happens to be a "ladies' only" establishment. Heinie and Louie never have been in a "ladies' only" hotel before and feel that their young lives have been wasted. They open their stolen bundle and find it contains a bomb, which Heinie with characteristic caution cleverly conceals beneath a mass of papers in the trash basket in Louie's room. Louie comes in, sits down, takes out cigarette. Match, basket, bomb, boom. After making his way through many walls and ceilings, Louie finds himself in Heinie's lap. Heinie has no kick coming, though, because he himself is using someone's lap, and Heinie and Louie are the only two men in the place. He has no regard for life, particularly Louie's, and drops his henchman out of the window. Louie, the luckless, lands on the collaborating beans of two detectives in search of a bomb-thrower. Louie, to get even, says Heinie is the only bomb-thrower he knows, and the sleuths go after the heinous one. Here things get very complicated and look bad for the boys until the only real, original, endorsed bomb-thrower is caught and dragged off to the lockup.
- Heinie and Louie wake up under the spreading filbert tree, and consult on how best to extract from a reluctant world the living so long withheld from them. They are surprised when a dainty slipper lands at their feet, with the following message neatly inserted: "We are two sisters, one fair, the other homely. Neither of us may marry unless the other one does. If you are game, come tomorrow at noon. You will find both heavily veiled. One of you will get the fair one. Here's hoping you both win." The boys have the true gambler's instinct, and decide to risk it, each trusting in Providence to cast his lot with the fair one. They get dolled up and meet the tremulous brides, who are dressed exactly alike, and heavily veiled. The fatal knots are tied, and Louie, raising his veil to either kiss or say howdedo to his bride, discovers he picked the winner. It's needless to say what Heinie discovers. The boys then find themselves proprietors of a milk bottling station, and take immediate charge. Louie, made ambitious by his recent luck, proceeds to take charge of the girl engaged in capping the bottles, and his fair wife, catching him at his tricks decides to make up to Heinie, and be revenged. She and Heinie, have a pretty soft time of it for a while, when the girls' cousin Reggie, a social scandal hound, spies them and gets out an extra early edition on it. Louie then pursues his old side kick, with intent to kill, and Heinie lands up in a doctor's office to have his nerves overhauled. His run has made him dry, and he tries something sweet smelling out of a convenient bottle, and is quite put out to find it poison. The doctor says that nothing but milk will save him, and Heinie starts his race for life to his milk station, where he meets up with more side-splitting complications than there is room to tell of here.
- Heinie receives an Inheritance of $999,999,999.00, and having drawn it from the bank, proceeds to bless humanity with it, starting by throwing it to the passing throng from an automobile. A tango parlor, where the pretty teachers receive their pay in thousand dollar bills, and a party full of beauties later in the evening, puts an end to the career of the near millionaire, and he and his fellow-boob roll into the mouth of a sewer and hide.
- Two Germans are traveling in Cuba. One saves the life of a wealthy Cuban who gives the German the hand of his daughter. She has already been married. Her young husband threatens to pursue the German over the world and kill him. Later, the old Cuban sends his lawyer, who resembles the young husband, to New York to find the German to give him $100,000. The two Germans think the fellow with the money is the one who has come to kill. Consequently they have a fearful time keeping away from the man who is trying to give them the money; the two men who look so alike, coming and going. The German's great confusion and fear forms the foundation for laughable situations.
- Heinie's lot is pretty rough, doughnuts all he has to munch; Louie's plight is still more tough, hasn't got a thing for lunch. Myrtle is a sculptress fair; see her in her studio, not a model has she there, though she's searched both high and low. Louie gets a mighty start when he gazes at his pal entering the shrine of art with the pretty sculptor gal. Heinie cannot understand what the reason is that he has been kidnapped, so he asks, "What idt iss you vant off me?" "All you have to do is pose; stand still for a minute, wearing scarcely any clothes; there's five hundred dollars in it." "Lofely woman, you're a queen, beautifuller than Venus. I lofe you wid all my bean. Noddings will come in between us." Well, to make a long story short, Louie pushes his way into the posing class and rouses the anger of his companion-in-crime. The result is a beating for the intruder and a jail term for Heinie.
- Heinie and Louie are down and out and unless they get some money in a short while they will die of starvation. They start off on the trail of the elusive jitney, and steal a bunch of toy balloons from Black Hand Joe. That worthy pursues them with a huge knife, but they make their escape as usual. They blow up some of the balloons and start out to sell them, but a kind lady, Dizzy Lizzy, sights them and asks them to get change of a hundred dollar bill. They are to get ten dollars for their trouble. Ten dollars. It's a million to Heinie and Louie. They start to spend it, but make the mistake of going to the same place where they got the change of the century, and are almost grabbed as counterfeiters.
- Heinie and Louie are guardians for a girl who is fabulously rich and extremely good looking. Some unthinking unfortunate left both the cash and the girl behind him when he took up his abode in the next world and foolishly provided in his will that the girl should be under the care of Heinie and Louie and that she should marry one of them. They are called to the office of the lawyers in charge of the estate and told of their good luck. They imagine that the girl is anything other than the beauty she really is, and are agreeably surprised when they see her. Her surprise, however, is anything but agreeable, because she had arranged to marry the man of her choice. Both Heinie and Louie propose to her, and she accepts the former. Then she arranges with her lover to act the part of the clergyman, after insisting that Heinie draw the money from the bank. He does this and hands it over to her when the ceremony is carried out. But he then finds that the minister is none other than his rival, and that he has been "fleeced" out of a perfectly good fortune. Great are his lamentations thereat.
- A bank clerk who becomes wealthy after backing a California gold prospector, is implicated in the death of a detective who was investigating his corrupt business partner.
- Heinie and Louie become fortune tellers. Heinie tells the fortune of a very rich woman. In the fortune the queen is supposed to be attacked by thugs and rescued by a hero. Heinie describes Louie as the hero. Louie later plans a bogus hold-up so that he may win the good graces of the lady which he does. She lavishes him with money until it so terminates that the rich lady is none other than the Pearl Queen, a notorious thief. Louie becomes involved to a painful degree as an accomplice, affording amusing complications.
- This film. It presents a funny mix-up of babies, and the only jarring note is where an automobile is seen to run into a baby carriage which has started on its way downhill alone. - The Moving Picture World, January 23, 1915
- Jim Borden, a big loving, good-natured fellow lives in the woods with his wife, Alda, his crippled brother, Jack, and his baby, who is the apple of his eye. He struggles to keep up the expense of the land which he is trying to improve, by working at taxidermy and selling his specimens. He also studies medicine and chemistry in his spare moments. Jim has a great affection for Jack, who became crippled in his early youth, in saving Jim's life. Jack, the cripple, is very fond of Jim's baby. Alda, the wife, however, denies Jim the joy of romping with the baby, contending that his crooked shape will have an ill influence on the child. She refers to him as an imp. The very first quarrel between Jim and his wife is the defense of Jack, whom he hears his wife speak ill of. Jim declares that Jack's poor bones were twisted in saving his life, and no one, not even she, his wife, shall speak ill of him. Hardy, a hunter, is accidentally shot in the mountains while hunting. He is found by Jim, Jack and their dogs. He is brought to Jim's home and cared for. The wife falls in love with Hardy. Jack surprises them in embrace. He refrains from exposing them, knowing the pain it would cause Jim. He orders Hardy from the house. The wife induces Jim to turn all his property over to her. She and Hardy leave together, taking Jim's baby. The property is sold and Jim and Jack are driven off. Jim, who adores his wife and baby, is crushed beneath the mighty blow. Gradually there comes through the daze of the terrific blow a desire for revenge upon the guilty pair. Jim records an oath, but he does not call upon high Heaven to witness that oath. He starts about it in a secret, systematic, subtle manner. He labors arduously with his medicine and chemistry. Ten years pass; Jim is in Spain. He is a wonderful doctor, having won the world's highest honors. Under another name he is loved and respected. Through his great skill he has been able to correct his brother's misshapen bones. He meets a Spanish woman of great beauty, who has a crippled arm. He operates, correcting the condition, thus winning the Spanish beauty's undying gratitude. Jim, still with the thought of vengeance most prominent in his mind, takes advantage of her gratitude to extract from her a sacred oath at her shrine, to do his future bidding. A short space of time has passed. A terrific epidemic of spinal meningitis has broken out in the South. Jim having a specific cure, starts for America with Jack. Alda, Jim's former wife, and Hardy are living in a southern city. Jim and Jack arrive in the South. Jim works day and night to relieve the suffering of the stricken. Like an angel, worn and weary, never thinking of himself, he works on, on. He gathers up the stricken, carrying them through the streets to the improvised hospital, where he operates. When others fear, he is at hand to aid. Hardy, the snake in the grass, is stricken. Alda reads of Jim's phenomenal cures. Not knowing he is her former husband, the man she has wronged, she goes to Jim to help Hardy. Here comes a great surprise when she recognizes Jim. He consents to see Hardy. He meets his own child. Jim consents to save Hardy's life for two purposes, one condition being that Alda tell the child that he, Jim, is its father, and that she also tell the child of her own shame and guilt. She does this in order to save Hardy's life. The child shrinks from her. Jim saves Hardy's life for future vengeance. He sends for Mama, the Spanish beauty, who in time wins Hardy away from Jim's former wife, so she suffers the same pains she inflicted upon Jim. Alda, deserted by Hardy, becomes poor and wretched. The child leaves her, seeking a home with Jim, her father. Later Jim takes the Spanish beauty from Hardy; thus, he, too, feels the hand of vengeance. The wife seeks peace beneath the hood of a nun. Jack becomes happy in the arms and love of the Spanish beauty. Jim. after years of suffering, gathers his precious baby within his big arms and silently thanks God for the one blessing bestowed. When not employed comforting the ill and suffering, his thoughts wander back into the purple past of what seems so long ago, and he thinks of what might have been.
- Heinie and Louie, suffering the pangs of hunger, take to chicken-stealing to relieve said pangs. Getting a couple of fat birds, they go to the edge of a neighboring lake to pluck them, but a mysterious hand rising out of the water disconcerts them. They flee, but the hand greets them wherever they go and finally, getting all their courage together, they grab the card held in the hand. This directs them to go to a certain address, death being the penalty should they fail. They go and there find a queen of a band of rogues, who directs them to kill a rival. They leave on this errand, but when they arrive at the home of their quarry, they find her to be a much more formidable person than they had imagined her to be. She pulls a gun on them and they take to their heels. When they return to the queen, she orders them to get the third degree of those who fail to carry out her royal command, and they are pitched without ceremony into the tank reserved for such emergencies.
- Heinie and Louie wake from their slumber and after a quarrel about the division of their stolen breakfast, they set out to seek their fortunes in an unsympathetic world, and spoil a valuable painting in the hands of Don Mendez, an art connoisseur, who is out with his sister. Don Mendez is a fiery don who was raised on a bottle of tobacco juice, and he tells the boys they will work out the damage or die. "You shall watch this door of my sister's room, so that her American sweetheart can't spirit her away," he tells Heinie. "And you this one," is his command to Louie. But sister's sweetheart comes in through the window, and together he and sister plan our heroes' downfall. Sister entices first Heinie into her room and then caresses him with a brick. Louie is next and receives the same attention. Then the sweethearts elope and leave Heinie and Louie to the mercies (?) of the paprika person who awakes in due time and furnishes the hard luck twins with the excitement to which they are accustomed.
- Louie and Heinie find jobs with a village grocer who agrees to pay them $5 a month for the two, the principal inducement, however, being the grocer's attractive daughter, with whom both fall in love. Their rivalry leads to a fight in which the grocery is wrecked, and Louie and Heinie are fired. In the meantime the daughter in reply to their proposals of love tells them that she will marry none but a brave man and as a test of love demands that they spend a night in a haunted house nearby, she agreeing to marry the one proving himself the bravest. Louie and Heinie accept the conditions and repair to the haunted house. Her sweetheart learning of this, with two pals, dress in skeleton suits and sneak into the haunted house. Louie and Heinie are awakened by their antics and flee in terror from the house. Outdistancing the pursuers they sit down to rest on a keg of powder. The keg is open. Heinie would smoke a cigarette. They vanish in the explosion.
- Heinie is a hen-pecked husband. So much under the thumb of his cute little 250-pound wife is Heinie that he wears a lace cap and a carpet sweeper is his favorite plaything. But one day Louie comes as a physician to attend Mrs. Heinie. This is too much for our hero. He rises up in his wrath and runs away from home. Good fortune, though, takes a hand at this juncture, and Heinie gets hold of a magic liquid that transforms him from a weak-kneed atom into a roaring terror. He returns home, and what he does to his wife and her relatives, to say nothing of a squad of police that is brought in to subdue him, is a caution.
- Hans and Heinie are broke. Hans concludes that, having once been a horse doctor, he can cure human beings. He brews bacterium of a disease called the jumps. They inoculate the folk of a village with the jumps, and hang out a sign specializing in a cure for jumps. Their office is besieged. They make instant cures and incidentally a barrel of money but their trick is finally exposed. They are arrested, and jailed much to their discomfiture, but to the amusement of those who witness this wonderful get-rich scheme of Hans and Heinie.