Even More Of The Worst Movies Of All Time
It's That Time Again, To Fill Out One Of These Stupid Lists With Even Stupider Movies...
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- DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerKatie HolmesAl PacinoFamily guy, Jack Sadelstein, prepares for the annual event he always dreads--the Thanksgiving visit of his fraternal twin sister, the needy, and passive-aggressive Jill, who then refuses to leave.You Know It's Time To Quit When You Have To Resort To "Martin Lawrenceing" It...
- CreatorFrank DarabontStarsAndrew LincolnNorman ReedusMelissa McBrideSheriff Deputy Rick Grimes wakes up from a coma to learn the world is in ruins and must lead a group of survivors to stay alive.This Is Probably The Most Disappointing Television Series To Date. It Started Out So Strong, And Captivated Millions Of Viewers. But After The Phenomenal First Season, The Writers Lost Their Touch, And Now This Show Is As Dry And Tasteless As A Microwaveable Breakfast Sandwich. There's Only One Place For The Next Season, And That's The Garbage...
- DirectorJudd ApatowStarsAdam SandlerSeth RogenLeslie MannWhen seasoned comedian George Simmons learns of his terminal, inoperable health condition, his desire to form a genuine friendship causes him to take a relatively green performer under his wing as his opening act.A Documentary About How Adam Sandler Is No Longer Funny, And Is Struggling To Keep His Fame... Wait, It's A Movie?
- DirectorRick JacobsonStarsJulia VothErin CummingsAmerica OlivoThree bad girls travel to a remote desert hideaway to steal $200 million in diamonds from a ruthless underworld kingpin.If You Whacked Off During This Movie, Then It Did It's Job...
- DirectorKevin TenneyStarsCathy PodewellAlvin AlexisHal HavinsTen teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell.Not Even Sure What To Say About This One...
- DirectorJason EisenerStarsRutger HauerPasha EbrahimiRobb WellsA homeless vigilante blows away crooked cops, pedophile Santas, and other scumbags with his trusty pump-action shotgun.I Simultaneously Was In Horrific Pain, And In A Wonderful State Of Amusement While Watching This Movie. It's One Of Those Movies That Was SO Bad It Almost Came Around And Was Good.
- DirectorSpike JonzeStarsNicolas CageMeryl StreepChris CooperA lovelorn screenwriter becomes desperate as he tries and fails to adapt 'The Orchid Thief' by Susan Orlean for the screen.Someone Once Said That Nicholas Cage Either Does A Masterpiece, Or A Total Sh/t Movie. This Was A Total Sh/t Movie...
- DirectorEllory ElkayemStarsOliver JamesKristopher TurnerRik YoungZach talks Ben into taking off time to go on an adventure of a lifetime. Our two fiends head out on the river, along with an uptight Brit to find Ben's long lost love.Unfortunately Where There Is A Classic Comedy, There Is A Cheap, Una-Musing Sequel.
- DirectorJay RoachStarsSteve CarellPaul RuddStephanie SzostakAfter he finds out that his work superiors host a dinner celebrating the idiocy of their special guests, a rising executive questions the merits of his invitation just as he befriends a man who would be the perfect guest.You Are One Just For Watching It, See You At Therapy...
- DirectorJeff BalisStarsAdam CarollaJohn Michael HigginsRob BenedictDennis is still waiting to progress to district manager from the restaurant where he works.Basically What I Said About WaP: Nature's Calling...
- DirectorShawn LevyStarsFrankie MunizAmanda BynesPaul GiamattiFourteen-year-old Jason Shepherd has a reputation for stretching the truth. So, when big-time Hollywood producer Marty Wolf steals his class paper and turns it into a smash hit movie, no one believes Jason's latest tall tale.No Comment...
- DirectorKenneth BranaghStarsChris HemsworthAnthony HopkinsNatalie PortmanThe powerful but arrogant god Thor is cast out of Asgard to live amongst humans in Midgard (Earth), where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.Terrible CGI, Terrible Acting, Terrible Story, And Their Biggest Sin? A Terrible Use Of Anthony Hopkins...
- DirectorPhil ClaydonStarsPaul McGannJames CordenMyAnna BuringTheir women having been enslaved by the local pack of lesbian vampires thanks to an ancient curse, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.Who Produces This Sh/t? Honestly, Who Brought This Script In To Where, And Why Did The Guy Read Further Than The Title?
- DirectorRon HowardStarsTom HanksAudrey TautouJean RenoA murder inside the Louvre, and clues in Da Vinci paintings, lead to the discovery of a religious mystery protected by a secret society for two thousand years, which could shake the foundations of Christianity.I Didn't Like It Not Because Of All The Religious Debates, And The Political Crap, And All The Different Reasons People Went Up In Arms About It... It Was Because The Movie Was Just Straight Up Crap...
- DirectorAnthony HickoxStarsSteven SeagalChristine AdamsWilliam HopeChris Kody, the world's best mercenary, is freed from prison -- but there's a catch. Kody must use his lethal weapons and fighting skills to stop a group of terrorists who have taken over a nuclear sub.I Really Wish That Steve Will Finally Go Back To Big Budget Movies, Where Writers Can Do Just That, Directors Have Experience, And The Camera Isn't From The 1970's...
- DirectorScott StewartStarsPaul BettanyDennis QuaidCharles S. DuttonWhen a group of strangers at a dusty roadside diner come under attack by demonic forces, their only chance for survival lies with an archangel named Michael, who informs a pregnant waitress that her unborn child is humanity's last hope.I Wasn't Really Sure What I Was Watching, All I Could Make Out Was How Awful It Was...
- DirectorGeoff MeedStarsJason WilliamsAmy Van HorneDevin ClarkIn disregard of the shocking DeFeo murders, an unsuspecting family moves into the infamous house on 112 Ocean Avenue. Now, ghostly apparitions start to appear in their video surveillance system. Can they survive the Amityville haunting?People Seem To Really Like The Story Of That House, I Guess It's A Neat Story, But All The Movies?
- StarsPierce BrosnanMelissa GeorgeAnnabeth GishAfter his wife's sudden death, a bestselling author returns to his cabin retreat, where he receives paranormal visitations and becomes involved in a custody battle.It Was Really Strange, Stephen King Must Be Really Losing His Touch, Because This Movie Actually Had A Happy, Non-Horrifyingly Depressing Ending...
- DirectorRobert LiebermanStarsSteve AustinErica CerraAdam BeachAn FBI agent looks to track down a material witness who is involved in a top-secret investigation.It Was Really, Really, Really, Boring
- DirectorF. Gary GrayStarsDonald SutherlandMark WahlbergEdward NortonAfter being betrayed and left for dead in Italy, Charlie Croker and his team plan an elaborate gold heist against their former ally.It Wasn't Even A Shadow Of The 1969 Version, Because That Would Imply They Are In The Same Continent Of Quality...
- DirectorDominic SenaStarsNicolas CageAngelina JolieGiovanni RibisiA retired master car thief must come back to the industry and steal fifty cars with his crew in one night to save his brother's life.Not Only Did They Make It Crap, They Had The Nerve To Use A Different Mustang As Eleanor. Why Not Just P/ss On H.B. Halicki's Grave...
- DirectorHerman YauStarsYu-Hang ToYi HuangBiao YuenYip Man's resistance against invading foreigners, along with his romantic relations while under the tutelage of three Wing Chun masters.This Has No Place Anywhere, Donnie Yen Or Go Home...
- DirectorDrew BarrymoreStarsElliot PageDrew BarrymoreKristen WiigIn Bodeen, Texas, an indie-rock-loving misfit finds a way of dealing with small-town misery after discovering a roller-derby league in nearby Austin.At Least Now We Know, Drew Barrymore Can't Act OR Direct...
- DirectorTim McCanliesStarsHaley Joel OsmentMichael CaineRobert DuvallFourteen-year-old Walter Caldwell's irresponsible mother Mae sends him to live with his bachelor uncles, Hub and Garth, so that she can go on yet another husband-hunting trip.One Of Those Cases Where You Have A Wonderful Cast, An Interesting Story, But Just An Overall Crummy Movie...
- DirectorStephen DaldryStarsKate WinsletRalph FiennesBruno GanzPost-WWII Germany: Nearly a decade after his affair with an older woman came to a mysterious end, law student Michael Berg re-encounters his former lover as she defends herself in a war-crime trial.Two Hours Of Staring At Kate Winslet's Ugly Chest Is More Than Enough To Permanently Scar Any Man Or Dyke From Around The Globe...