Roger Ebert's Zero-Star Films
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Jamie Lee Curtis: Hoolywood Chutes and Ladders
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
Jamie Lee Curtis: Hoolywood Chutes and Ladders
A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
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63 titles
- DirectorJ. Lee ThompsonStarsCharles BronsonLisa EilbacherAndrew StevensAn LAPD detective and his rookie partner are on the trail of a psychopathic young man who is murdering young women.
- DirectorGualtiero JacopettiFranco ProsperiStarsSergio RossiGualtiero JacopettiJomo KenyattaThe cruel acts of animal poaching and violence, executions, and tribal slaughtering, all taking place on the African continent.a.k.a. "Africa Blood and Guts"
- DirectorArthur HillerStarsRyan O'NealCoolioChuck DWhen a rookie filmmaker with the unfortunate name Alan Smithee realizes he's an unwitting studio puppet, being forced to make a big-budget action movie he knows is horrible, he steals the master reels and tries to make a deal.
- DirectorRobert TownsendStarsHalle BerryNatalie Desselle ReidMartin LandauTwo tacky homegirls move to L.A. to become dancers; instead they scam a dying millionaire but eventually become B*A*P*S (Black American Princesses).
- DirectorNeal IsraelStarsJason BatemanC. Thomas HowellJonathan SilvermanTwo friends take their dying buddy on one last road trip.
- DirectorTinto BrassStarsMalcolm McDowellPeter O'TooleHelen MirrenA dramatization of the ascent to Caesar and subsequent reign of Caligula, one of the most notorious leaders of ancient Rome. We see his ambition, his scheming, his perversion and decadence, his brutality and his lunacy.
- DirectorDavid DeFalcoStarsKevin GageSage StalloneKelly K.C. QuannTwo teenage girls on a mission to find drugs at a rave get more than they bargained for. One is sexually assaulted and they are both tortured in horrific ways. The attackers seek refuge in the parents' of one of the victims' homes.
- DirectorAlbert PyunStarsJohn StockwellJ. Eddie PeckCarey LowellA rebel without a cause at an elite uptight High School discovers some of his classmates have formed an even more elite clique hell-bent on ridding the school of what they deem to be its undesirables because of ethnicity, politics, etc.
- DirectorPaul BartelStarsDavid CarradineSylvester StalloneSimone GriffethIn a dystopian future, a cross country automobile race requires contestants to run down innocent pedestrians to gain points that are tallied based on each kill's brutality.
- DirectorMichael WinnerStarsCharles BronsonJill IrelandVincent GardeniaArchitect Paul Kersey once again becomes a vigilante when he tries to find the five street punks who murdered his daughter and housekeeper, this time on the dark streets of Los Angeles.
- DirectorMike BigelowStarsRob SchneiderEddie GriffinJeroen KrabbéDeuce is tricked again into man-whoring by T.J., only in Amsterdam while other man-whores are being murdered in his midst.
- DirectorKen RussellStarsVanessa RedgraveOliver ReedDudley SuttonIn 17th-century France, Father Urbain Grandier's protection of the city of Loudun from the corrupt Cardinal Richelieu is undermined by a sexually repressed nun's accusation of witchcraft.
- DirectorJay DubinStarsAndrew Dice ClayEddie GriffinSylvia HarmanOutrageous, misogynistic and vulgar-to-the-max comedian Andrew Dice Clay does his stuff in this combination of a stand-up concert video, in a filled-to-capacity performance at Madison Square Gardens, and a series of comedy sketches.
- DirectorJohn AsherStarsJenny McCarthy-WahlbergEddie Kaye ThomasCarmen ElectraA jilted photographer goes on a mission to get back at her philandering model boyfriend and along the way discovers that not all love is created equal.
- DirectorGregg ArakiStarsJames DuvalRose McGowanJohnathon SchaechJordan White and Amy Blue, two troubled teens, pick up an adolescent drifter, Xavier Red. Together, the threesome embark on a sex-and-violence-filled journey through an America of psychos and quickie marts.
- DirectorRuy GuerraStarsIrene PapasClaudia OhanaMichael LonsdaleWhile Erendira, a beautiful teenage girl, has a surreal mystical vision, her grandmother's house catches on fire and burns to the ground. Her grandmother holds Erendira responsible and, in order to extract restitution from the girl, forces her into prostitution. Erendira's surreal mystical experiences continue while her grandmother grows rich from exploiting her.
- DirectorTerry JonesStarsTim RobbinsJohn CleeseMickey RooneyErik the Viking and his men travel across the sea to find Valhalla to ask the gods to end the Age of Ragnarok.
- DirectorJames GlickenhausStarsRobert GintySamantha EggarChristopher GeorgeA man's best friend is killed on the streets of New York City. The man (Robert Ginty) then transforms into a violent killer, turning New York City into a great war zone, and Christopher George is the only one to stop him.
- DirectorLeslie H. MartinsonStarsAnthony FranciosaRaquel WelchRonald FraserIn Spain, an American skydiver is recruited by Western intelligence agents to recover a lost atomic bomb detonator from hostile foreign agents.
- DirectorAl AdamsonStarsLon Chaney Jr.Russ TamblynJennifer BishopAfter a string of bad times with men, Sandy tries to kill herself. Co-waitress Libby saves her and takes her to meet some female friends of hers who live on a ranch in the desert. Grace, the leader of the gang, puts Sandy through her initiation and they get on with the real job of running drugs across the Mexican border, hassling poor farmers, taking any man they please, and generally raising a little hell. Soon Sandy becomes unsure if this is the life for her, but it may be too late to get out.
- DirectorRichard BrooksStarsRyan O'NealCatherine HicksGiancarlo GianniniAn investigative journalist gets hooked on the subject of his inquiry - professional gambling.
- DirectorTom GreenStarsTom GreenRip TornMarisa CoughlanAn unemployed cartoonist moves back in with his parents and younger brother Freddy. When his parents demand he leave, he begins to spread rumors that his father is sexually abusing Freddy.
- DirectorAmos PoeStarsJosé Rafael ArangoNicole ArlynDavid CaleEva is a legit actress who does debt-collecting jobs on the side for her ex-husband, loan shark Al. She doesn't want to go on with collecting, but Al asks her to do one last job: finding a missing $600,000 stolen from him by Flav.
- DirectorGeorge MillerStarsShelley LongCorbin BernsenLarry MillerA man is hired to run a bank which turns out to be a sperm bank.
- DirectorGualtiero JacopettiFranco ProsperiStarsStefano SibaldiSusan HampshireDick GregoryTwo documentary filmmakers go back in time to the pre-Civil War American South, to film the slave trade.a.k.a "Farewell Uncle Tom"
- DirectorRay KelloggJohn WayneMervyn LeRoyStarsJohn WayneDavid JanssenJim HuttonCol. Mike Kirby picks two teams of crack Green Berets for a mission in South Vietnam. First off is to build and control a camp that is trying to be taken by the enemy the second mission is to kidnap a North Vietnamese General.
- DirectorRené Cardona Jr.StarsStuart WhitmanGene BarryJohn IrelandReverend Jim Jones, the priest of an independent church in the South American country Guyana, orders his followers to commit suicide. But not all of them follow him blindly and begin to think on their own.a.k.a. "Guyana: Crime of the Century"
- DirectorJerry LewisStarsJerry LewisSusan OliverRoger C. CarmelIn Jerry Lewis's first film in a decade, he plays Bo Hooper, an unemployed circus clown who can't seem to hold down a job. The film opens with a brief montage of clips from past Lewis movies. He then moves into a succession of jobs that he gets himself fired from including a gas station attendant and a mailman - all with disastrous results.
- DirectorRobert HarmonStarsRutger HauerC. Thomas HowellJennifer Jason LeighA young man who escapes the clutches of a murderous hitchhiker is subsequently stalked by the hitcher and framed for his crimes.
- DirectorTom SixStarsLaurence R. HarveyAshlynn YennieMaddi BlackInspired by the fictional Dr. Heiter, disturbed loner Martin dreams of creating a 12-person centipede and sets out to realize his sick fantasy.
- DirectorMeir ZarchiStarsCamille KeatonEron TaborRichard PaceAn aspiring writer is repeatedly assaulted, humiliated, and left for dead by four men she systematically hunts down to seek revenge.
- DirectorSteven R. MonroeStarsSarah ButlerJeff BransonAndrew HowardA writer who is brutalized during her cabin retreat seeks revenge on her attackers, who left her for dead.
- DirectorPaul MorrisseyAndy WarholStarsTom BakerNicoValerie SolanasAbout a male hustler who talks with and sleeps with a series of women.
- DirectorCharles MartinStarsDana WynterRaymond St. JacquesKevin McCarthyAn escaped convict goes to a small town to clear his name; to pull off his plan, he becomes part of a murder plot.
- DirectorJoseph SargentStarsLorraine GaryLance GuestMario Van PeeblesChief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge.
- DirectorBarnet KellmanStarsBrooke AdamsDanny AielloSeth AllenA young woman wants to get her boyfriend to commit to her, but the most she can get him to do is exchange apartment keys.
- DirectorDonald P. BellisarioStarsTom BerengerDaphne ZunigaChick VenneraAngela, the beautiful Mexican mistress of a NY mobster, asks virginal Father Michael for protection after Zena, the mobster's wife, kills her cheating husband. Michael becomes torn between his vows, Angela and his sister - Zena.
- DirectorAlan ParkerStarsKevin SpaceyKate WinsletLaura LinneyA man against capital punishment is accused of murdering a fellow activist and is sent to death row.
- DirectorHervé PaludStarsThierry LhermitteLudwig BriandPatrick TimsitThe Parisian broker Stephan only needs the signature from his wife Patricia for their divorce - but she left 13 years ago for living with Amazonas Indians. Stephan finds her in the village and gets stuck for two days, where he learns that he has got a son, who grew up as an Indian. Meanwhile he fails to confirm a soy bean transaction and promises his son Mimi-Siku to show him Paris as soon as he will become a man. However, this happens next day when the tribe celebrates the children's festival. So both fly back to Paris, where Stephan and his partner Richard try to limit their losses by selling the beans to the Russian mafia, and Mimi-Siku discovers the city with bare feet. He climbs the Eiffel tower and prefers to hunt doves with bow-and-arrow instead of eating cornflakes. Stephan moves his son to the family of his partner, where Mimi-Siku falls actively in love with Richard's daughter Sophie. Discovered, Sophie is set to be sent into a boarding school, and therefore rescued by Mimi-Siku, while the mafia has discovered the dropped bean price and is threatening and claiming their money back. Both operations are entangled, and finally they get the money, and Mimi-Siku is sent back to the tribe. But, of course, this is not the end ..
- DirectorJeanne MoreauStarsLucia BosèFrancine RacetteCaroline CartierSarah, an actress nearing 40, has invited the woman who has been her best friend for 16 years and two younger women to her vacation retreat in Provence. There are the simple pleasures of lounging in adjacent hammocks, the sun, the food, conversations about men. This is prologue for what happened a year ago in Paris with a man Sarah has long taken for granted as a platonic friend. She had just finished a film, also finishing her liaison with the director, and was about to get an award and start work on a new film and begin a romance with a German writer.
- DirectorLarry BishopStarsMichael J. PollardHenry SilvaGabriel ByrneWith his boss in the madhouse, a mobster is temporary boss of the criminal empire just as vicious rivals threaten the control of the empire.
- DirectorRichard FleischerStarsJames MasonSusan GeorgePerry KingAn 1840s slaveowner trains one of his slaves to be a bare-knuckle fighter.
- DirectorTom LaughlinStarsTom LaughlinRon O'NealLincoln KilpatrickAn outnumbered swordsman/gunfighter tries to prevent wealthy landowners from annihilating local Indians.
- DirectorCharles KaufmanStarsTiana PierceNancy HendricksonDeborah LuceTwo brothers kidnap and brutalize three women for the pleasure of their demented mother.
- DirectorDwight H. LittleStarsWesley SnipesDiane LaneDaniel BenzaliA young woman is murdered in the White House. Homicide detective Regis investigates while Secret Service works against him. He's assigned agent Chance. She eventually cooperates after a man's framed.
- DirectorRob ReinerStarsElijah WoodBruce WillisJason AlexanderSick of the neglect he receives from his mom and dad, a young boy leaves home and travels the world in search of new parents.
- DirectorJohn WatersStarsDivineDavid LocharyMary Vivian PearceNotorious Baltimore criminal and underground figure Divine goes up against a sleazy married couple who make a passionate attempt to humiliate her and seize her tabloid-given title as "The Filthiest Person Alive".
- DirectorHugh WilsonStarsSteve GuttenbergG.W. BaileyKim CattrallThe mayor declares that anyone can enroll in the police academy irrespective of their physical condition or education level, and many misfits descend on the academy, including a young troublemaker who's forced to apply or go to jail.
- DirectorTom DeSimoneStarsJacqueline GirouxAnnik BorelTracy HandfussA prison psychiatrist prepares six female inmates for parole by granting them a weekend furlough, during which each of them has a sexual encounter.
- DirectorTom StoppardStarsGary OldmanTim RothRichard DreyfussTwo minor characters from the play 'Hamlet' stumble around unaware of their scripted lives and unable to deviate from them.
- DirectorDavid GreenwaltAaron RussoStarsCheech MarinEric RobertsJulie HagertyIn the 1960s, two hippies go off into the jungle to evade the FBI. When they come back to New York in the 1980s, their fellow hippie friends have become rich yuppies.
- DirectorChristopher CainStarsJon VoightTrent FordTamara HopeA love story set during a tense encounter between a wagon train of settlers and a renegade Mormon group.
- DirectorStan DragotiStarsTony DanzaCatherine HicksWallace ShawnWhen an average-looking teenage girl gets a makeover, it's enough to make her father become overprotective of her.
- DirectorDewey NicksStarsDevon SawaRobert B. Martin Jr.Jason SegelWhen geeky Ethan discovers three fellow students scamming the examination system, he blackmails them to win over the college's most popular girl.
- DirectorLarry DavidStarsSteven WeberCraig BierkoJack BurnsEvan and Ritchie see their friendship go sour after one wins a slots jackpot with two quarters bummed from the other.
- DirectorJim DrakeStarsPeter BoyleDonna DixonJohn CandyDespite the police's preemptive strike, the illegal coast-to-coast car race is still on with new drivers. It's a race where fair play, red lights, stop signs, police roadblocks and traffic rules in general have no validity.
- DirectorRod AmateauStarsDavid NivenVirna LisiRobert VaughnA Nobel Prize-winning professor suspects his wife of infidelity when she makes and unveils an 18-foot statue of him with private parts recognizably not his own.
- DirectorRené CardonaStarsPablo FerrelHugo StiglitzNorma LazarenoA Uruguayan rugby team crashes in the Andes Mountains and has to survive the extremely cold temperatures and rough climate. As some of the people die, the survivors are forced to make a terrible decision between starvation and cannibalism.
- DirectorPaul MazurskyStarsJohn CassavetesGena RowlandsSusan SarandonJohn Cassavetes gives a compelling performance as a man confronting a mid-life crisis with extraordinary results for everyone around him.
- DirectorMarcus NispelStarsJessica BielJonathan TuckerAndrew BryniarskiAfter picking up a traumatized young hitchhiker, five friends find themselves stalked and hunted by a deformed chainsaw-wielding loon and his family of equally psychopathic killers.
- DirectorGregory PoirierStarsShannon ElizabethJerry O'ConnellJake BuseyAt the wedding of a friend, the remaining bachelors bet on staying single. Seven years later, one of the two remaining loses $51,000 in Vegas. He must get the other guy married to cash in and pay his debt or die. A cute woman helps him.
- DirectorAlex CoxStarsEd HarrisRichard MasurRene AuberjonoisAn unconventional retelling of the life of William Walker, a 19th century American mercenary leader who became the president of Nicaragua.
- DirectorGreg McLeanStarsNathan PhillipsCassandra MagrathKestie MorassiThree backpackers stranded in the Australian outback are plunged inside a hellish nightmare of insufferable torture by a sadistic psychopathic local.