MSN's worst movies of 2011
The 15 worst flicks of 2011 according to MSN Movies writer Glenn Kenny, with his comments. Check out MSN Movies' choice for the best, and the list according to MSN Movies users. Or go check out the top choices of individual MSN Movies staffers:
Sean Axmaker
Jim Emerson
Kate Erbland
William Goss
Richard T. Jameson
Don Kaye
Glenn Kenny
Dave McCoy
Danny Miller
Kim Morgan
Kat Murphy
Corwin Neuse
Frank Paiva
Mary Pols
Bryan Reesman
James Rocchi
Glenn Whipp
Here are some more 2011 lists:
Notable movie tops:
Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun Times critic)
Owen Gleiberman (Entertainment Weekly critic) favorite & most hated
Jordan Hoffman (filmmaker)
Drew McWeeny (HitFix critic)
Lisa Schwarzbaum (Entertainment Weekly critic) favorite & most hated
John Waters (filmmaker)
And more 2011 tops:
Best performances
Best performances in bad movies
Best soundtracks
Best TV shows
Biggest flops
Most annoying movies
Most overlooked movies
Sexiest Female Celebrities (according to French males)
For my personal overview of the year, see here.
Sean Axmaker
Jim Emerson
Kate Erbland
William Goss
Richard T. Jameson
Don Kaye
Glenn Kenny
Dave McCoy
Danny Miller
Kim Morgan
Kat Murphy
Corwin Neuse
Frank Paiva
Mary Pols
Bryan Reesman
James Rocchi
Glenn Whipp
Here are some more 2011 lists:
Notable movie tops:
Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun Times critic)
Owen Gleiberman (Entertainment Weekly critic) favorite & most hated
Jordan Hoffman (filmmaker)
Drew McWeeny (HitFix critic)
Lisa Schwarzbaum (Entertainment Weekly critic) favorite & most hated
John Waters (filmmaker)
And more 2011 tops:
Best performances
Best performances in bad movies
Best soundtracks
Best TV shows
Biggest flops
Most annoying movies
Most overlooked movies
Sexiest Female Celebrities (according to French males)
For my personal overview of the year, see here.
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15 titles
- DirectorD.J. CarusoStarsAlex PettyferTimothy OlyphantDianna AgronAliens and their Guardians are hiding on Earth from intergalactic bounty hunters. They can only be killed in numerical order, and Number Four is next on the list. This is his story.Try "I Am Number Two." Oh! Somebody STOP me! Or rather, "Number One," right, since I'm ranking it top of the worst. And quite bad it is, too. Adapted from a young adult "novel" overseen by Morally Objectionable Hack of Limited Talent James Frey, this D.J. Caruso-directed atrocity wants to be all awesome all the time with its brooding teen aliens with superpowers, plagiarized-from-multiple-old-sources themes and plot points, and thoroughly third-hand brands of adolescent cool and adolescent angst. Sound and fury and insulting stupidity. Two hours of attractive people walking away from exploding buildings in slow motion actually would have had more integrity, and been more enjoyable to watch.
- DirectorJoel SchumacherStarsNicolas CageNicole KidmanCam GigandetAs they're held for ransom, a husband and wife's predicament grows more dire amid the discovery of betrayal and deception.Take Nicolas Cage at his most disoriented. Add Nicole Kidman at her most frozen-forehead distracted. Let director Joel Schumacher at his most opportunistically sensation-mongering stir up a lip-smackingly crass home-invasion plot. Let audience simmer and suffer for about 90 minutes. The year's most deplorable thriller only got into theaters because of a glitch in what was gonna be another wrinkle in bad-movie home delivery: SOMEBODY insisted that it get a perfunctory dumping into some multiplexes along with its direct-to-video and video-on-demand (if you can call it that) releases. It didn't have to be that way, guys. But on the other hand, without it, I would have had to find a different film for this particular slot.
- DirectorTim HillStarsRussell BrandJames MarsdenElizabeth PerkinsE.B., the Easter Bunny's teenage son, heads to Hollywood, determined to become a drummer in a rock 'n' roll band. In LA, he's taken in by Fred after the out-of-work slacker hits E.B. with his car.I know the DreamWorks gang gets a lot of stick for making animated pictures overstuffed with obnoxious pop culture references and obvious pop songs, but, man, if you think the worst parts of any "Shrek" movie are excellent sources of both smarm and post-modern insulin shock, you need to check this out. By the time the "adorable" title character, an irresponsible offspring of the Easter Bunny, wags his adorable little tail and literally poops out jelly beans, you'll be begging for the sweet relief of Smash Mouth's cover of "I'm a Believer," or death, whichever can get to you quicker. This was a bad year at the movies for Brit comic Russell Brand, who did the lead voice here and was also in the poorly received "Arthur" remake, which, relative to this, was Lubitsch's "Trouble in Paradise." Or the original "Arthur." Or what have you.
- DirectorJulian SchnabelStarsFreida PintoHiam AbbassWillem DafoeA drama centered on an orphaned Palestinian girl growing up in the wake of Arab-Israeli war who finds herself drawn into the conflict.Alternate title: "My Girlfriend Suffered Mistreatment at the Hands of Israeli Police and All You Got Was This Lousy Movie." Artist Julian Schnabel's filmmaking career has been a reasonably distinctive one. But given the man's gargantuan self-regard, one had the feeling that he would eventually shoot himself in the foot in THIS medium, too, and with this picture, adapted from a quasi-autobiographical novel by Rula Jabreal, who was Schnabel's paramour for a time. While its heart is ostensibly in the right place, its sensibility is more than a bit on the solipsistic side for Schnabel, the only filmmaker in the world to whom it would occur to score a Palestinian woman's funeral to a Tom Waits song. Edgy, you bet. But in a dumb way.
- DirectorKenneth BranaghStarsChris HemsworthAnthony HopkinsNatalie PortmanThe powerful but arrogant god Thor is cast out of Asgard to live amongst humans in Midgard (Earth), where he soon becomes one of their finest defenders.Good God. Or, I mean, bad god. Despite the presence of respected director and renowned Shakespearean Kenneth Branagh behind the camera, this narratively hobbled, emotionally stilted and generally listless effort is the most blatant failure of Marvel quality control yet. The whole run-up to the “Avengers” franchise build got a needed shot in the arm with the practically actually good “Captain America,” but between lead lug Chris Hemsworth’s utterly lifeless interpretation of the title character and an almost incomprehensible dearth of any kind of action until the film’s last third, this was real DOA stuff. And again, subject to some rather incomprehensible defenses, from people who I bet regret it now.
- DirectorDenis VilleneuveStarsLubna AzabalMélissa Désormeaux-PoulinMaxim GaudetteTwins journey to the Middle East to discover their family history and fulfill their mother's last wishes.Just in case you thought we were going to discriminate on this list and just pick easy genre targets, well, have a gander at this French-Canadian kinda-sorta art film, a well-acted, well-shot and, one supposes, competently written and directed film about war and pain and shared guilt that so wildly overshoots its presumable target that one has to be careful leaving the theater to make sure one didn't actually leave one's jaw on the floor. The resolution to this drama of a family mystery, taking its young protagonists from their troubled gray Canadian life to past hellholes of the Middle East, means to evoke Greek tragedy. What results is not so much tragedy but a variant of the farce wherein the audience is played for suckers.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsEmily BrowningVanessa HudgensAbbie CornishA young girl institutionalized by her abusive stepfather retreats to an alternative reality as a coping strategy and envisions a plan to help her escape.Zack Snyder's passion project (so I've been told) is like the "Frankenhooker" of video game movies. That's not to say that it's as perversely entertaining a film as "Frankenhooker." That's to say that the film is kind of like the "Wanna date?"-repeating female monster of that film, something cobbled together out of used, if not dead, parts and zapped through with animating energy that doesn't quite work right. And then was dressed up in skimpy underwear, had some lipstick smacked on it and was thrown out into the street. The fact that some critics actually defended this dank, callow, skinky piece of exploitation that didn't even have the courage of its chicks-in-their-underwear lack of conviction is a depressing indication of how much the culture of basement-dwelling pimply-backed comic-book droolers (I won't give them the respect of calling them "fan boys") has infected the larger discourse.
- DirectorFrank CoraciStarsKevin JamesRosario DawsonLeslie BibbA group of zoo animals decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zookeeper find love, without opting to leave his current job for something more illustrious.Come on, Adam Sandler. The year's almost over, the receipts are almost all in, so you can finally admit it: The four features produced under your shingle this year -- two of which starred you, one of which featured your voice work, and the other ... well, was the whole point of "Bucky Larson" just to make poor Nick Swardson even more resentful of critics than he already no doubt was? -- they were all part of an experiment, right? An experiment to see just how vulgar, indifferent, stupid and lazy you could make a film comedy and still have it earn money. Please say it. No other explanation, not even one containing the phrase "a real-life version of 'Funny People,'" will suffice.
- DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerJennifer AnistonBrooklyn DeckerOn a weekend trip to Hawaii, a plastic surgeon convinces his loyal assistant to pose as his soon-to-be-divorced wife in order to cover up a careless lie he told to his much-younger girlfriend.Come on, Adam Sandler. The year's almost over, the receipts are almost all in, so you can finally admit it: The four features produced under your shingle this year -- two of which starred you, one of which featured your voice work, and the other ... well, was the whole point of "Bucky Larson" just to make poor Nick Swardson even more resentful of critics than he already no doubt was? -- they were all part of an experiment, right? An experiment to see just how vulgar, indifferent, stupid and lazy you could make a film comedy and still have it earn money. Please say it. No other explanation, not even one containing the phrase "a real-life version of 'Funny People,'" will suffice.
- DirectorTom BradyStarsNick SwardsonDon JohnsonChristina RicciA kid from the Midwest moves out to Hollywood in order to follow in his parents footsteps, and become a porn star.Come on, Adam Sandler. The year's almost over, the receipts are almost all in, so you can finally admit it: The four features produced under your shingle this year -- two of which starred you, one of which featured your voice work, and the other ... well, was the whole point of "Bucky Larson" just to make poor Nick Swardson even more resentful of critics than he already no doubt was? -- they were all part of an experiment, right? An experiment to see just how vulgar, indifferent, stupid and lazy you could make a film comedy and still have it earn money. Please say it. No other explanation, not even one containing the phrase "a real-life version of 'Funny People,'" will suffice.
- DirectorDennis DuganStarsAdam SandlerKatie HolmesAl PacinoFamily guy, Jack Sadelstein, prepares for the annual event he always dreads--the Thanksgiving visit of his fraternal twin sister, the needy, and passive-aggressive Jill, who then refuses to leave.Come on, Adam Sandler. The year's almost over, the receipts are almost all in, so you can finally admit it: The four features produced under your shingle this year -- two of which starred you, one of which featured your voice work, and the other ... well, was the whole point of "Bucky Larson" just to make poor Nick Swardson even more resentful of critics than he already no doubt was? -- they were all part of an experiment, right? An experiment to see just how vulgar, indifferent, stupid and lazy you could make a film comedy and still have it earn money. Please say it. No other explanation, not even one containing the phrase "a real-life version of 'Funny People,'" will suffice.
- DirectorMark MylodStarsAnna FarisChris EvansAri GraynorA woman looks back at the past nineteen men she's had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love.Female-centered romantic comedies, or "chick flicks" as they are sometimes referred to by the more vulgar sect of the cinema cognescenti, aren't well-beloved in critical circles to begin with, but maybe they would be if so many of them weren't such abject crap -- abject crap that depicts their supposed-to-be-endearing heroines as venal, materialistic backstabbers whose ONLY purpose in life is to land Mr. Right by whatever means necessary. "Number" egregiously wastes the comic talents of Anna Faris while trying to set back the sexual revolution not by merely decades, but by centuries. OK then.
- DirectorLuke GreenfieldStarsGinnifer GoodwinKate HudsonColin EgglesfieldFriendships are tested and secrets come to the surface when terminally single Rachel falls for Dex, her best friend Darcy's fiancé.Female-centered romantic comedies, or "chick flicks" as they are sometimes referred to by the more vulgar sect of the cinema cognescenti, aren't well-beloved in critical circles to begin with, but maybe they would be if so many of them weren't such abject crap -- abject crap that depicts their supposed-to-be-endearing heroines as venal, materialistic backstabbers whose ONLY purpose in life is to land Mr. Right by whatever means necessary. "Borrowed" wastes the natural charm of Ginnifer Goodwin by trapping her in a scenario that pitches the moral that betraying your best friend isn't too much of a bad thing, provided your best friend is enough of a pain in the ass for you to rationalize it. OK then.
- DirectorGavin WiesenStarsFreddie HighmoreEmma RobertsMichael AngaranoGeorge, a lonely and fatalistic teen who has made it all the way to his senior year without ever having done a real day of work, is befriended by Sally, a popular but complicated girl who recognizes in him a kindred spirit.I think Wes Anderson's "Rushmore" is a great film and a genuine work of art, and I'm very glad that it is. Because if it weren't, I'd hold its bad influence against it more than I already do. Speaking as someone who was a hypersensitive adolescent who had trouble with the girls, I have to say I'd sooner be pepper-sprayed than ever watch another movie on the subject of hypersensitive adolescent males again. The British one of these two, "Submarine," is Twerp Cinema at its most imaginatively desiccated, while its American cousin, "The Art of Getting By," is the same genre at its most-pleased-with-itself. They are both not good for children and other living things.
- DirectorRichard AyoadeStarsCraig RobertsSally HawkinsPaddy Considine15-year-old Oliver Tate has two objectives: to lose his virginity before his next birthday, and to extinguish the flame between his mother and an ex-lover who has resurfaced in her life.I think Wes Anderson's "Rushmore" is a great film and a genuine work of art, and I'm very glad that it is. Because if it weren't, I'd hold its bad influence against it more than I already do. Speaking as someone who was a hypersensitive adolescent who had trouble with the girls, I have to say I'd sooner be pepper-sprayed than ever watch another movie on the subject of hypersensitive adolescent males again. The British one of these two, "Submarine," is Twerp Cinema at its most imaginatively desiccated, while its American cousin, "The Art of Getting By," is the same genre at its most-pleased-with-itself. They are both not good for children and other living things.