The WORST movies of 2013.
The worst movies I've seen in 2013.
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- DirectorJustin LinStarsVin DieselPaul WalkerDwayne JohnsonHobbs has Dominic and Brian reassemble their crew to take down a team of mercenaries, but Dominic unexpectedly gets sidetracked with facing his presumed deceased girlfriend, Letty.Easily the worst movie of 2013. Easily. The original from 2001 was entertaining but everything following it was just plain bad. You'll ask "then why you watched Fast 6?"
Well my friends, I like second chances and let's just say that my job allows me to watch all kinds of movies...without paying a single dime.
Fast 6 treats you like a moron and since I don't consider myself a moron I hated that movie. And that lame ending on the loooongest runway in human history. It's just insulting.
Shame on you, Justin Lin. Shame on you. - DirectorJ.J. AbramsStarsChris PineZachary QuintoZoe SaldanaAfter the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one-man weapon of mass destruction.First one was *kind of* entertaning so I decided to check this one out. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad mistake. The only thing that was good: the air conditioner in the theater.
- DirectorBaz LuhrmannStarsLeonardo DiCaprioCarey MulliganJoel EdgertonA writer and wall street trader, Nick Carraway, finds himself drawn to the past and lifestyle of his mysterious millionaire neighbor, Jay Gatsby, amid the riotous parties of the Jazz Age.The words I need to describe this 'movie' don't exist. Sorry.
- DirectorWalter HillStarsSylvester StalloneJason MomoaChristian SlaterAfter watching their respective partners die, a New Orleans hitman and a Washington, D.C. detective form an alliance in order to bring down their common enemy.Watching it was indeed like having a bullet in the head.
- DirectorKim Jee-woonStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerForest WhitakerJohnny KnoxvilleThe leader of a drug cartel busts out of a courthouse and speeds to the Mexican border, where the only thing in his path is a sheriff and his inexperienced staff.Since I'm always honest I'll say that I still have a soft spot for Arnie...
- DirectorSteven KnightStarsJason StathamAgata BuzekVicky McClureA damaged ex-special forces soldier navigating London's criminal underworld seizes an opportunity to assume another man's identity.Statham, you're a cool dude. But more 'Snatch' please. Less lame, cheap B flicks.
- DirectorJohn LuessenhopStarsAlexandra DaddarioTania RaymondeScott EastwoodA young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance. Little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.The remake from 2003 is million times better than this cheap, moronic 3D turd. Sorry for the harsh words. That's just how I feel.
- DirectorMichael TiddesStarsMarlon WayansEssence AtkinsMarlene ForteMalcolm and Kisha move into their dream home, then learn that a demon also resides there. When Kisha becomes possessed, Malcolm--determined to keep his sex life on track--turns to a priest, a psychic, and a ghostbusting team for help.Marlon, you certainly can do better than that. Or maybe I'm wrong?
- DirectorAndy MuschiettiStarsJessica ChastainNikolaj Coster-WaldauMegan CharpentierAfter a young couple take in their two nieces, they suspect that a supernatural spirit named Mama has latched onto their family.When the main villain in a HORROR movie makes people laugh you know you have a serious, SERIOUS problem. Good concept, bad movie. Really bad.
- DirectorBrian A. MillerStarsStephen DorffStephen LangDavid BoreanazWhen a cop's crooked past comes back to get him, can he do the right thing, or will he succumb to the threats of his dangerous connections?
- DirectorElizabeth BanksSteven BrillSteve CarrStarsEmma StoneStephen MerchantRichard GereA series of interconnected short films follows a washed-up producer as he pitches insane story lines featuring some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.
- DirectorTom ElkinsStarsAbigail SpencerChad Michael MurrayKatee SackhoffA young family moves into a historic house in Georgia and learns that they're not the house's only inhabitants. They find themselves in the presence of a secret rising from underground that threatens to bring down anyone in its path.
- DirectorJonathan LevineStarsNicholas HoultTeresa PalmerJohn MalkovichAfter a highly unusual zombie saves a still-living girl from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion events that might transform the entire lifeless world.
- DirectorRoman CoppolaStarsCharlie SheenJason SchwartzmanBill MurrayA graphic designer's enviable life slides into despair when his girlfriend breaks up with him.
- DirectorSeth GordonStarsJason BatemanMelissa McCarthyJohn ChoMild mannered businessman Sandy Patterson travels from Denver to Florida to confront the deceptively harmless looking woman who has been living it up after stealing Sandy's identity.
- DirectorJohn MooreStarsBruce WillisJai CourtneySebastian KochJohn McClane travels to Russia to help out his seemingly wayward son, Jack, only to discover that Jack is a CIA operative working undercover, causing the father and son to team up against underworld forces.The first chase in Russia was well shot. Can't deny that. But the rest of the movie was just empty. The character people know was gone. Instead there was a bland bald guy who was screaming "Jesus, God, Jesus!"
Those were his lines for entire movie. Sorry, but this is far from a Die Hard movie. The best one for me is still Die Hard 3. Now that is a solid, solid action movie with a great Bruce Willis. - DirectorVishesh BhattStarsRandeep HoodaAditi Rao HydariSara LorenAfter a breakup, Vikram dates Nisha, who moves into his mansion. Nisha notices strange activities, suspects haunting. Vikram's ex Roshini goes missing. Nisha and Vikram's life unravels as he's blamed.Avoid.
- DirectorCal BrunkerStarsBrendan FraserSarah Jessica ParkerJessica AlbaAstronaut Scorch Supernova finds himself caught in a trap when he responds to an SOS from a notoriously dangerous alien planet, Earth.
- DirectorJon LucasScott MooreStarsMiles TellerJustin ChonJonathan KeltzThe night before his big medical school interview, a promising student celebrates his 21st birthday with his two best friends.
- DirectorBryan SingerStarsNicholas HoultStanley TucciEwan McGregorThe ancient war between humans and a race of giants is reignited when Jack, a young farmhand fighting for a kingdom and the love of a princess, opens a gateway between the two worlds.Looking at the pure facts it's hard to believe that after so many huge flops Brian Singer still has a movie career. As for my opinion on this movie: again, a good concept, bad execution. It's an effects driven movie and even the effects looked cheap. That's a kiss of death for every tentpole movie.
- DirectorTodd RobinsonStarsEd HarrisJulian AdamsDavid DuchovnyThe haunted Captain of a Soviet submarine holds the fate of the world in his hands. Forced to leave his family behind, he is charged with leading a covert mission cloaked in mystery.
- DirectorShane BlackStarsRobert Downey Jr.Guy PearceGwyneth PaltrowWhen Tony Stark's world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution.No, it's not because of the Mandarin. I'm not a fanboy and I don't care if they change stuff around characters. It was just a lame movie start to finish. Downey's "quick wit" is getting really old really fast. If you're born in 2000 you'll probably enjoy this movie on a kid level.
Didn't work for me. The original is better in every way. - DirectorNicolás LópezStarsEli RothAriel LevyNicolás MartínezIn Chile, a group of travelers who are in an underground nightclub when a massive earthquake hits quickly learn that reaching the surface is just the beginning of their nightmare.
- DirectorEd Gass-DonnellyStarsAshley BellJulia GarnerSpencer Treat ClarkAs Nell Sweetzer tries to build a new life after the events of the first movie, the evil force that once possessed her returns with an even more horrific plan.
- DirectorAntoine FuquaStarsGerard ButlerAaron EckhartMorgan FreemanSecret Service agent Mike Banning finds himself trapped inside the White House in the wake of a terrorist attack and works with national security to rescue the President from his kidnappers.
- DirectorJon M. ChuStarsDwayne JohnsonChanning TatumAdrianne PalickiThe G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence.
- DirectorShane CarruthStarsAmy SeimetzFrank MosleyShane CarruthA man and woman are drawn together, entangled in the life cycle of an ageless organism. Identity becomes an illusion as they struggle to assemble the loose fragments of wrecked lives.Another pretentious, yet empty piece of film by Shane Carruth. Don't have any faith in this filmmaker. Not anymore.
- DirectorMalcolm D. LeeDavid ZuckerStarsSimon RexAshley TisdaleCharlie SheenA couple begin to experience some unusual activity after bringing their lost nieces and nephew home. With the help of home-surveillance cameras, they learn they're being stalked by a nefarious demon.
- DirectorConor AllynStarsKellan LutzVerdi SolaimanMickey RourkeA Muslim detective teams with an American posing as a graduate student to find the man behind a series of deadly terrorist bombings in Indonesia.
- DirectorMichael UrieStarsHalley FeifferRyan SpahnAshlie AtkinsonWhen an aspiring actress loses her support system in one fell swoop, she sets out with a stolen script, her brother, and his boyfriend to make a movie.
- DirectorJustin ZackhamStarsRobert De NiroDiane KeatonKatherine HeiglA long-divorced couple fakes being married as their family unites for a wedding.
- DirectorZoya AkhtarDibakar BanerjeeKaran JoharStarsRani MukerjiRandeep HoodaSaqib SaleemOne hundred years of Hindi cinema is celebrated in four short stories showcasing the power of film.
- DirectorR. KannanStarsAryaHansika MotwaniAnjaliThree struggling room-mates unknowingly become potential prey of a ruthless gangster.
- DirectorVince OfferStarsAdrien BrodyLindsay LohanMichelle RodriguezIn this comedy film, a computer tablet full of the world's most hilariously offensive apps breaks through the borders of political correctness, stirring up cultural anarchy.
- DirectorPedro AlmodóvarStarsJavier CámaraPepa CharroCecilia RothWhen it appears as though the end is in sight, the pilots, flight crew, and passengers of a plane heading to Mexico City look to forget the anguish of the moment and face the greatest danger, which we carry within ourselves.IMO, Almodóvar lost it years and years ago. This movie is just another example.
- DirectorTommy WirkolaStarsJeremy RennerGemma ArtertonPeter StormareBrother/sister duo Hansel and Gretel are professional witch-hunters who help innocent villagers. One day they stumble upon a case that could hold the key to their past.
- DirectorTodd PhillipsStarsBradley CooperZach GalifianakisEd HelmsWhen one of their own is kidnapped by an angry gangster, the Wolf Pack must track down Mr. Chow, who has escaped from prison and is on the run.
- DirectorRuben FleischerStarsSean PennRyan GoslingEmma StoneIt's 1949 Los Angeles, the city is run by gangsters and a malicious mobster, Mickey Cohen. Determined to end the corruption, John O'Mara assembles a team of cops, ready to take down the ruthless leader and restore peace to the city.
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsJaden SmithDavid DenmanWill SmithA crash landing leaves Kitai Raige and his father Cypher stranded on Earth, a millennium after events forced humanity's escape. With Cypher injured, Kitai must embark on a perilous journey to signal for help.Goddamn it! I used to LOVE M. Night!
- DirectorLouis LeterrierStarsJesse EisenbergCommonMark RuffaloAn FBI agent and an Interpol detective track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances, and reward their audiences with the money.
- DirectorShawn LevyStarsVince VaughnOwen WilsonRose ByrneTwo salesmen whose careers have been torpedoed by the digital age find their way into a coveted internship at Google, where they must compete with a group of young, tech-savvy geniuses for a shot at employment.Nope, it's not WC funny.
- DirectorAyan MukerjiStarsRanbir KapoorDeepika PadukoneAditya Roy KapoorKabir and Naina bond during a trekking trip. Before Naina can express herself, Kabir leaves India to pursue his career. They meet again years later, but he still cherishes his dreams more than bonds.
- DirectorChris WedgeStarsAmanda SeyfriedJosh HutchersonBeyoncéA teenager finds herself transported to a deep forest setting where a battle between the forces of good and evil is taking place. She bands together with a ragtag group of characters to save their world--and ours.It epic alright. Epic fail.
- DirectorZack SnyderStarsHenry CavillAmy AdamsMichael ShannonAn alien child is evacuated from his dying world and sent to Earth to live among humans. His peace is threatened when other survivors of his home planet invade Earth.The EPIC FAIL of the decade. Wow! Just wow. Words cannot describe how bad and pathetic this movie is. The Singer version is a Hitchcock masterpiece next to this moronic turd of a film.
Easily 0/10. And that's me being generous. - DirectorSteve StarkStarsMarc BernardinMing ChenMatt CohenJay and Silent Bob hit the lottery jackpot, and use their cash windfall to become crime-fighting superheroes.The cheapest, most moronic-looking, pathetic, idiotic, braindead animated movie in human history. Without a doubt. Don't ever watch it, even if it's free.
Kevin Smith, stop it already. Just STOP. Do us all that favor. - DirectorBrad AndersonStarsHalle BerryEvie ThompsonAbigail BreslinWhen a veteran 911 operator takes a life-altering call from a teenage girl who has just been abducted, she realizes that she must confront a killer from her past in order to save the girl's life.Been there, done that. The locations were great and it's a nice look at the 911 world but that's not enough to make a good, entertaining movie.
- DirectorHarmony KorineStarsVanessa HudgensSelena GomezAshley BensonFour college girls hold up a restaurant in order to fund their spring break vacation. While partying, drinking, and taking drugs, they are arrested, only to be bailed out by a drug and arms dealer.I like Franco and he's good here, but overall that movie is a complete, utter mess. 'Kids' worked, this one failed. Big time.
- DirectorRoland EmmerichStarsChanning TatumJamie FoxxMaggie GyllenhaalWhile on a tour of the White House with his young daughter, a Capitol policeman springs into action to save his child and protect the president from a heavily armed group of paramilitary invaders.No comment here.
- DirectorGuillermo del ToroStarsIdris ElbaCharlie HunnamRinko KikuchiAs a war between humankind and monstrous sea creatures wages on, a former pilot and a trainee are paired up to drive a seemingly obsolete special weapon in a desperate effort to save the world from the apocalypse.Thank God I saw that crap movie for free. Guilermo Del Toro should be locked in Director's Jail. Forever. He's without a doubt the big-budget version of Uwe Boll. Just a very, very bad director. If you love your brain and your eyes don't watch Pacific Rim. Take my word for it.
- DirectorPierre CoffinChris RenaudStarsSteve CarellKristen WiigBenjamin BrattWhen Gru, the world's most super-bad turned super-dad has been recruited by a team of officials to stop lethal muscle and a host of Gru's own, he has to fight back with new gadgetry, cars, and more minion madness.I knew this would end up in this list. Just knew it. Good thing I didn't pay to see it.