If Classic Movie Quotes were Politically Correct
Well, if Political Correctness (PC) prevents us from making fun of sensitive issues, let's just hope that, as a thin consolation, we can at least make fun of PC itself.
So, which of these 25 cases of PC applied to classic movie quotes do you think is the most ridiculously funny?
Without telling you what to do, and just in case this poll raised your interest, you can have a little chit-chat here if you click on this link. Thank you in advance.
So, which of these 25 cases of PC applied to classic movie quotes do you think is the most ridiculously funny?
Without telling you what to do, and just in case this poll raised your interest, you can have a little chit-chat here if you click on this link. Thank you in advance.
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25 titles
- DirectorVictor FlemingGeorge CukorSam WoodStarsClark GableVivien LeighThomas MitchellA sheltered and manipulative Southern belle and a roguish profiteer face off in a turbulent romance as the society around them crumbles with the end of slavery and is rebuilt during the Civil War and Reconstruction periods."Frankly, my dear, although I empathize with your feelings, they are not exactly my primary focus at this time."
- DirectorJames WhaleStarsColin CliveMae ClarkeBoris KarloffDr Henry Frankenstein is obsessed with assembling a living being from parts of several exhumed corpses."He's metabolically abled! He's metabolically abled!"
- DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsBruce WillisHaley Joel OsmentToni ColletteMalcolm Crowe, a child psychologist, starts treating a young boy, Cole, who encounters dead people and convinces him to help them. In turn, Cole helps Malcolm reconcile with his estranged wife."I see living impaired people."
- DirectorAlfred HitchcockStarsAnthony PerkinsJanet LeighVera MilesA Phoenix secretary embezzles $40,000 from her employer's client, goes on the run and checks into a remote motel run by a young man under the domination of his mother."We all go a little mentally disoriented sometimes."
- DirectorStuart RosenbergStarsPaul NewmanGeorge KennedyStrother MartinA laid-back Southern man is sentenced to two years in a rural prison, but refuses to conform."What we've got here is deferred success to communicate."
- DirectorRoy Del RuthStarsJames CagneyJoan BlondellLouis CalhernThe adventures of an egoistic con man and his glamorous accomplice."That unsavory, ethically-disoriented, deceiver!"
- DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsTom HanksRobin WrightGary SiniseThe history of the United States from the 1950s to the '70s unfolds from the perspective of an Alabama man with an IQ of 75, who yearns to be reunited with his childhood sweetheart."Mama says 'mentally challenged is as mentally challenged does'"
- DirectorFrancis Ford CoppolaStarsMartin SheenMarlon BrandoRobert DuvallA U.S. Army officer serving in Vietnam is tasked with assassinating a renegade Special Forces Colonel who sees himself as a god."I love the smell of coffee in the morning."
- DirectorFrancis Ford CoppolaStarsMarlon BrandoAl PacinoJames CaanThe aging patriarch of an organized crime dynasty transfers control of his clandestine empire to his reluctant son."Its a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes, with their consent."
- DirectorDaniel MannStarsElizabeth TaylorLaurence HarveyEddie FisherA beautiful New York model and socialite enjoys a very active night-life, but all things change when she falls for a married man and the consequences are tragic."Mama, face it. I was the sexually extroverted woman of all time"
- DirectorBob ClarkStarsPeter BillingsleyMelinda DillonDarren McGavinIn the 1940s, a young boy named Ralphie Parker attempts to convince his parents, teacher, and Santa Claus that a Red Ryder Range 200 Shot BB gun really is the perfect Christmas gift."You might suffer irreversible eye damage'"
- DirectorGuy HamiltonStarsSean ConneryGert FröbeHonor BlackmanWhile investigating a gold magnate's smuggling, James Bond uncovers a plot to contaminate the Fort Knox gold reserve."A martini. Shaken, not stirred. And a reasonable amount, please, which I'll drink in moderation."
- DirectorVictor FlemingKing VidorStarsJudy GarlandFrank MorganRay BolgerYoung Dorothy Gale and her dog Toto are swept away by a tornado from their Kansas farm to the magical Land of Oz, and embark on a quest with three new friends to see the Wizard, who can return her to her home and fulfill the others' wishes."I'll get you, my pretty, and your little quadruped non-human associate too!"
- DirectorJohn LandisStarsJohn BelushiKaren AllenTom HulceAt a 1962 college, Dean Vernon Wormer is determined to expel the entire Delta Tau Chi Fraternity, but those troublemakers have other plans for him."Horizontally, esthetically and chemically inconvenienced is no way to go through life, son... in my humble opinion."
- DirectorSidney LumetStarsFaye DunawayWilliam HoldenPeter FinchA television network cynically exploits a deranged former anchor's ravings and revelations about the news media for its own profit, but finds that his message may be difficult to control."My displeasure knows no bounds... but you know what? this is actually improving my personal perspective on life"
- DirectorArthur PennStarsWarren BeattyFaye DunawayMichael J. PollardBored waitress Bonnie Parker falls in love with an ex-con named Clyde Barrow and together they start a violent crime spree through the country, stealing cars and robbing banks."We practise cash withdrawals without documented permissions."
- DirectorMichael CurtizStarsHumphrey BogartIngrid BergmanPaul HenreidA cynical expatriate American cafe owner struggles to decide whether or not to help his former lover and her fugitive husband escape the Nazis in French Morocco."Play it, please, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By'. I'm not saying this as a command, of course, it's just a friendly request I hope you'll be glad to fulfill."
- DirectorRon HowardStarsTom HanksBill PaxtonKevin BaconNASA must devise a strategy to return Apollo 13 to Earth safely after the spacecraft undergoes massive internal damage putting the lives of the three astronauts on board in jeopardy."Houston, we're encountering an inconvenience of as yet undetermined seriousness."
- DirectorRob ReinerStarsTom CruiseJack NicholsonDemi MooreMilitary lawyer Lieutenant Daniel Kaffee defends Marines accused of murder. They contend they were acting under orders."You can't handle the uncreative unpleasantness of facts!"
- DirectorDavid R. EllisStarsSamuel L. JacksonJulianna MarguliesNathan PhillipsAn FBI agent takes on a plane full of deadly venomous snakes, deliberately released to kill a witness being flown from Honolulu to Los Angeles to testify against a mob boss."I am overwhelmed with these prodigious numbers of snakes on this over-crowded plane... still, the safest way to travel according to statistics."
- DirectorBilly WilderStarsMarilyn MonroeTony CurtisJack LemmonAfter two male musicians witness a mob hit, they flee the state in an all-female band disguised as women, but further complications set in."You're a man... so what? When I look at you, I don't see a man or a woman. It doesn't make any difference to me."
- DirectorFranklin J. SchaffnerStarsCharlton HestonRoddy McDowallKim HunterAn astronaut crew crash-lands on a planet where highly intelligent non-human ape species are dominant and humans are enslaved."Please, would you mind keeping your nondiscretionarily fragrant hands off my delicate body? O Primate Overlord!"
- DirectorCameron CroweStarsTom CruiseCuba Gooding Jr.Renée ZellwegerWhen a sports agent has a moral epiphany and is fired for expressing it, he decides to put his new philosophy to the test as an independent agent with the only athlete who stays with him and his former colleague."Shut up, just shut up. I don't need a man or a romantic tirade to know what my heart feels. Actually, you had me at 'hello' but I appreciate the fact that you show remorse and make amends for your past conduct, and I accept to give you a second chance."
- DirectorRichard LinklaterStarsJason LondonWiley WigginsMatthew McConaugheyThe adventures of high school and junior high students on the last day of school in May 1976."That's what I love about these young adult high school girls, mate. I keep getting chronologically advantaged, they stay the same age... above the legal one of consent, of course"
- DirectorGarry MarshallStarsRichard GereJulia RobertsJason AlexanderA man in a legal but hurtful business needs an escort for some social events, and hires a beautiful prostitute he meets... only to fall in love."I want the fairy tale but just because I was a victim of men's exploitation and I believe it is a fair compensation for the treatment I received as a sex care provider. That said, I don't think girls should care about fairy tales anymore."