Absolute Bottom: Movies That Can't Swirl Any Further Down The Drain!
A compendium of "films" that just plain hurt. These are the true, cinematic brain-hammers! Anyone who has witnessed any of these sub-sludge offerings can attest to their ability to scorch the mind and shrivel the soul! Some have called the likes of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE the "worst movie ever made". My friends, the movies on this list are mere birthday candles compared to the supergiant star brilliance of PLAN 9! These are movies that should be sealed in lead, covered in cement, and
sent to some already dead planet...
sent to some already dead planet...
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- DirectorG. Brook StanfordStarsW. Gordon AllenTrevor James ConstableJuan FavaThis documentary puts forth the theory that UFOs are actually beings from another dimension, and reviews past incidents of UFO sightings in support of that theory.
- DirectorAlessandro De GaetanoStarsNick PlakiasCynthia ClineLaVerne LightAn electronics expert searching for evidence of aliens picks up signals that he believes are from an alien spacecraft--and they are coming from a lake near town.
- DirectorPeter BogdanovichStarsMamie Van DorenMary MarrPaige LeeAstronauts landing on Venus encounter dangerous creatures and almost meet some sexy Venusian women who like to sun-bathe in hip-hugging skin-tight pants and seashell brassieres.
- DirectorAl AdamsonStarsJohn CarradineRobert DixVicki VolanteIn the near future with a intergalactic vampire plague threatening earth, an expedition is sent to a distant galaxy in hopes of discovering the plague's source. Landing on a mysterious planet they discover that Spectrum radiation has turned the atmosphere into a one-color tint. Exploring further, the group discovers living dinosaurs, a race of vampire cavemen, and other strange creatures.
- DirectorGeoffrey de ValoisEugene JamesStarsKathy PresgravePenny LynnEugenie BondurantThe UFO-Demon, Rabaalhazor, has sent the vampire, Natalia to destroy the Earth. Each time she takes a victim a natural disaster rocks the planet. Humanity's only hope is the sexy sorority pledge, Buffy, and the members of her sisterhood. She must not only save the world but she also must save herself from the perverted desires of both Rabaalhazor and Natalia.
- DirectorEvan JacobsStarsRon RubinPopeye VogelsangAn entomologist (Michael J. Vogelsang) is enjoying the seclusion that he needs as he researches a new species of insect. While away, the strains of family life start to pull at him. His problems are compounded when his benefactor voices some concerns regarding the direction of the insect research that he is doing. Lastly, things take an even darker turn when he starts being eaten alive by a mass of fleas. Taking matters into his own hands, the entomologist decides that the only way to combat everything is to cut the flea bites from his skin... and then amputate his leg.
- DirectorUwe BollStarsJonathan CherryTyron LeitsoClint HowardA group of college students travels to a mysterious island to attend a rave, which is soon taken over by bloodthirsty zombies.
- DirectorJohnny MartinStarsJackie DebatinEric EtebariJonathon KleinA co-ed group of Special Forces agents search the wilderness for a predator type creature that has been on a killing spree.
- DirectorTimothy HinesStarsAnthony PianaJack ClayJames LathropIn one of the most faithful adaptations of HG Wells' science fiction masterpiece, Martians launch a ruthless assault on an unsuspecting Victorian England, in an attempt to escape their dying planet.
- DirectorHal T. AffertyStarsKen AbrahamRobert AldaDavid AllerAt an asylum, patients were subjected to watching horror films for psychiatric study. They all went mad and now those films have been unearthed.
- DirectorDavid DeCoteauStarsJacqueline LovellJonathan NormanNanette BianchiA mad scientist's experiment goes awry, turning a dead homeless man's eyeball into a giant killing machine that has an insatiable appetite for young women.
- DirectorWilliam ArntzBetsy ChasseMark VicenteStarsMarlee MatlinElaine HendrixJohn Ross BowieA fictional photographer's quest to spiritually rediscover herself is interspersed with documentary footage of scientists and theologians discussing the philosophical aspects of quantum physics.
- DirectorHarry EssexStarsMaria De AragonMarvin HowardEric SinclairAn alien life form that is a huge ball of living matter invades earth, and replenishes itself by absorbing people.
- DirectorJerry WarrenStarsRobert ClarkeSteve BrodieCameron MitchellWhen a hot-air balloon crashes on a remote island, the crew discovers Dr. Frankenstein's ancestor carrying on the family work, along with a race of mutants and a population of Amazons.
- DirectorFredric HobbsStarsChristopher BrooksStuart LancasterE. Kerrigan PrescottA mutant sheep is on the move near a ranch in the American West.
- DirectorJohn KirklandStarsUltra VioletMarland ProctorClaudia ReameA phantom horseman who appears every night with a human head tucked under his arm lets it be known that he is searching for eight gunfighters.
- DirectorJames NguyenStarsAlan BaghWhitney MooreTippi HedrenA horde of mutated birds descends upon the quiet town of Half Moon Bay, California. As the death toll rises, two citizens manage to fight back, but will they survive Birdemic?
- DirectorDavid BradleyStarsWalter StockerAudrey CaireCarlos RivasNazi madmen preserve Hitler's brain on a small tropical island until the time is right to resurrect him and, along with him, the Third Reich.
- DirectorBrad F. GrinterStarsVeronica LakePhil PhilbinDoug FosterA ring of Nazis in Florida are in possession of the body of Adolf Hitler, and plan to revive him so they can take over the world.
- DirectorCirio H. SantiagoStarsJohn CarradineBruce FairbairnTrey WilsonCarradine is an aged vampire who has a bevy of vampiric beauties who lure many of their customers back to his lair. A pair of virile young Navy sailors get mixed up in their shenanigans.
- DirectorDon BartonArnold StevensStarsMarshall GrauerWade PopwellPaul GallowayA mad scientist transforms himself into an aquatic killer.
- DirectorRobert MannStarsMichael ZaraAmy WeberBrian KaryAfter mistaking him for a masked killer, Jonathan fatally stabbed his sister's boyfriend on Halloween. One year later to the day, the siblings find themselves fighting for their lives against a very familiar masked murderer.
- DirectorJames LandisStarsMichael TerrArch Hall Jr.Liz RenayRussian spies secretly infect rabbits with a deadly bacteria, then let them loose in the U.S.
- DirectorDavid WintersNeal SundstromStarsReb BrownJohn Phillip LawJames RyanA pilot is the only hope to stop the mutiny of a spacecraft by its security crew, who plot to sell the crew of the ship into slavery.
- DirectorRick SloaneStarsTom BartlettPaige SullivanSteven BoggsA young security guard must track down diminutive aliens who kill people even as they make their fantasies come true.
- DirectorBill RebaneHerschell Gordon LewisStarsPhilip MortonJune TravisGeorge PerryA space capsule crash-lands on Earth, and the astronaut aboard disappears. Is there a connection between the missing man and the monster roaming the area?
- DirectorTed V. MikelsStarsLila ZaborinVictor IzayTom PaceLorraine and Mark enter the world of witchcraft where Mara foretells the future and helps them remember their past lives. When a series of mysterious murders begin to occur, they turn to Dr. Helsford for advice.
- DirectorDavid DeCoteauStarsMatthew TwiningJosh HendersonStacey NelsonCommon-type aquatic leeches grow to large size after feeding on steroid-laced blood of a number of college endurance swimmers, and then the nasty creatures lay siege to the entire campus for more.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsMalcolm McDowellRichard BrakeJeff Daniel PhillipsFive carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, hellish compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.
- DirectorClark L. PaylowStarsGeorge E. MatherAustin GreenEsther FurstA group of medical students undertake some silly and frightening endeavors in order to pledge a fraternity.
- DirectorGeoff WardStarsVanessa CapriglioneJustin BrackettAdam BrudnickiA group of college researchers go camping deep into the Florida Everglades .While entering forbidden Native American territory against being advised not to, the group encounters the Swamp Ape.
- DirectorBill RebaneStarsPaul BentzenStephanie CushnaCarol PerryA murderous demon lurks inside an antique piano in a picturesque coastal town.
- DirectorManuel CañoStarsAldo SambrellTanyeka StadlerAlexander AbrahanThe mummy of long dormant, but powerful Caribbean voodoo priest Gatanebo gets revived on a luxury South Seas ocean liner and proceeds to terrorize the passengers.
- DirectorBob CookStarsRobert CarradineMichael WinslowRebecca HoldenThrough a deadly rip in the ozone, a blazing sun sears the dying Amazon jungle - but it's the Lycanthrope that's ripping the flesh off a luckless group of scientists at a remote outpost. Government agent Bill Parker heads a commando team sent to investigate the silenced outpost. Tension is palpable as the jungle heat grips the group when Parker discovers that the psychiatrist, Dr. Stein, has brought along his sexy wife, Sheila, who was once Parker's lover. There's no denying Sheila is a beautiful woman with the loyalty of a piranha. Horror upstages sexual tension, however, when the group is confronted by an empty laboratory drenched in human blood. And a body torn to shreds. They soon discover that they, too, are being hunted.
- DirectorJason LiquoriStarsCory AndersonAlberto GiovannelliJason LiquoriWhen Marian Longosi goes into hiding to escape her abusive ex-boyfriend she takes a job house-sitting. This results in her acquiring a canine with some odd habits as roommate. The small town seems safe enough but first, but Maria soon learns there's a black bear on the loose and then the police find the body of slaughtered man. To top it all off Jeff, her ex, is doing everything he can to keep in touch. Has Maria really found the safety she's been seeking in this small town or will her new fierce protector prove to be more dangerous than anyone would dare to guess? There's only rule when caring for this canine: Don't let her out after dark!
- DirectorBrett KellyStarsDerick FageJoe EstevezBrianna BarnesA robot created by the military falls into the hands of a group of mercenaries. It's up to the son of the man who created the robot to stop the mercenaries before they sell the robot to a foreign power.
- DirectorPeter YuvalStarsBenjamin SchickRobin SimsAldo RayA group of misfit U.S. Army soldiers are chosen to represent their base at the annual war games competition where they are not expected to win.
- DirectorJim CharlestonGeorge ManasseStarsEric LutesJulia CampbellMitch PileggiKiller ants from South America that eat the flesh of people attack a small town.
- DirectorBob BraggStarsKeely AllenRandy AllenRick JohnsWhen micro scientist Dr. Connors and his assistant, Libby Myers, are discovered missing from the small Everglades community of Emerald Lagoon, Libby's father becomes concerned and tries to find Roland, a local fishing guide, to search for her.
- DirectorPeter YuvalStarsChristopher PlummerChris LemmonBrett PorterWhen a Russian cyborg with telekinetic powers terrorizes a city, an elite government agency intervenes. A chemist teams up with a special agent to capture the menace but they find out that the true villain isn't who they expected.
- DirectorDave FlockerStarsBob ClymireJan SwihartBill Simonsen"Curse of Bigfoot" tells the tale of a group of high school students on an archaeological dig who discover a centuries old mummified body in a sealed cave.
- DirectorMichael FindlayHoracio FredrikssonSimon NuchternStarsMargarita AmuchásteguiTina AustinAna CarroA so-called "snuff" film involving the exploits of a cult leader leading a gang of bikers in a series of supposedly real killings on film.
- DirectorTiziano CellaStarsDavid WhiteBeatrice GattaiFederica MasulloA hacker looking for a missing man, what he finds out are videos in which the man is questioned and tortured till he drops by two mysterious women.
- DirectorLarry BuchananStarsJohn AgarFrancine YorkJeff AlexanderWhile searching for oil in the deadly swamplands of the Florida Everglades, members of a geological expedition meet an insane doctor who is working on an experiment to create a creature that is part man and part alligator.
- DirectorDavid DeCoteauStarsJason FauntMarissa TaitEric W. EdwardsSix people find themselves transported to a remote cabin surrounded by an invisible barrier. In a nearby graveyard, they discover an ancient, carved stone monument that they dub a totem pole.
- DirectorS. Edwin GrahamStarsBarry NortonBlanche MehaffeyJack BartyThis is an edited version of a ten-year-old film, _Sea Fiend, The (1936)_.
- DirectorHarry HopeLee SholemHerbert J. LederStarsBobby VanRuta LeeMala PowersSpies discover that the Red Chinese have built a "doomsday machine" capable of destroying the surface of the Earth, and that they plan to use it within a matter of days.
- DirectorAlfonso BresciaStarsJohn RichardsonYanti SomerWest BuchananA strange signal arrives on the Earth disturbing all communications, while a UFO appears above the Antarctic sea. Captain Alex Hamilton is sent with his spaceship and crew to the space outside the Solar System to find the origin of that signal. They reach an unknown planet where a giant robot enslaved a whole population of humanoids by taking their psychic energies. The robot's got his eyes on the Earth, too.
- DirectorMichael HerzLloyd KaufmanStarsJim HarrisCarol DrakeCarol BevarThree lovely waitresses contend with a drunken, slovenly chef and mutinous patrons.
- DirectorAndrew BellwareStarsTzaddi AllickJef BetzGreg Oliver BodineIn a future where the elite live forever, a vigilante uncovers a conspiracy involving secrets hidden in the deep of space.
- DirectorJohn R. HandStarsJohn R. HandAmy OlivastroChester DelacruzBrilliant young Victor Karlstein finds himself lost in an abyss of personal turmoil and professional stress after the woman he most likely seemed to love dies while under the care of his own mysterious medical facility. Determined to keep her alive, Victor uses his mechanically-enhanced reanimated corpse to murder young women in order to furnish "raw parts" for her new body, among other devious things.
- DirectorTed V. MikelsStarsSean MorelliMary SelbySenita DeveauxBeautiful women join a coven and sell their souls to Satan for fame and riches.
- DirectorJeff LeroyStarsLorenzo LamasPriscilla BarnesCorbin TimbrookAfter a series of brutal, unexplained murders in a remote forest, a rogue military unit is recruited to hunt for whoever - or whatever - has rendered the attacks. In order to carry out the investigation, they need the help of the only survivor, Kate. But first they have to get her released from the mental institution she's been confined to since the horrific attack.
- DirectorTony MalanowskiStarsSteve SandkuhlerChristopher GummerRebecca BachA group of Southern deer hunters stop at a church graveyard in the woods. Their activities arouse the corpses of long-dead Confederate soldiers, who attack them.
- DirectorCarolyn BanksStarsMatt TramelJessica GardnerSam DamonLove, greed and fire ants mix it up in rural Texas.
- DirectorPericles LewnesStarsSteve SooyAnthony M. CarrKen DavisA barrel of radioactive waste is lost out in the woods. Some demented rednecks find it and use it as part of their still. Everybody who drinks the liquor they produced turns into zombies.
- DirectorHarold DanielsReginald Le BorgJerry WarrenStarsLon Chaney Jr.John CarradineAndrea KingTwo brothers, both warlocks, use their own powers and covens of witches to battle over the family fortune.
- DirectorRay HirschmanWilliam SzarkaStarsPatrick MolloyDanny GuerraJoe VivianiDanny's mother was contaminated by radiation poisoning at the time of his birth. Years have passed, and Danny begins to go on a killing rampage.
- DirectorDonn DavisonStarsAshley BrooksGeorge EllisTrudy MooreThis is the story of four jewel thieves on the run who decide to hole up with a hillbilly couple until the search for them slackens off.
- DirectorRichard GardnerStarsAnthony HoltRichard GardnerLaurie Tait PartridgeA young hitchhiker is picked up by four drunken hunters, one of whom rapes her. A tough prosecutor has all four of the men indicted for the crime, which results in a suicide and a murder-for-hire plot.
- DirectorHenri SalaStarsDebbie LasterDale MidkiffDebra HunterA female scientist performs experiments on three college girls that turn them into drooling, murderous mutants.
- DirectorJuan Piquer SimónStarsIan SerraNina FerrerSusana BequerA young boy in the woods discovers a lovable alien...or is it?
- DirectorNigel TommThis is 75 minutes and 6 seconds of pure blue screen. Nothing less and nothing more. New movie by Nigel Tomm demolishes the boundaries of new absurdism. In 1951, a novel 'The Catcher in the Rye' by J. D. Salinger was published. In 2008, a film 'The Catcher in the Rye' directed by Nigel Tomm was filmed. Intelligent. Eccentric and subversive. 'The Catcher in the Rye' by Nigel Tomm preserves and destroys, it lifts and anchors, it aids and hinders, it's convenient and frustrating. It has two sides. The most extravagant depths of your wildest imagination are packed in 75 minutes and 6 seconds of pure blue screen. Breathtaking.
- DirectorBret McCormickStarsGunnar HansenKeith KjornesRandy ClowerArmy experimentation with transporter devices accidentally turns people into alligators.
- DirectorAndrew JanczakTom DeSimoneAlejandro GrattanStarsJimmy AngleKris FasseasBob BurnsLittle boy Henry survives a plane crash in the Amazon jungle. He's discovered by a tribe of vicious savages who plan on sacrificing him. Meanwhile, Henry's father ventures into the jungle to find the missing lad before it's too late.
- DirectorJaclyn ChessenStarsAnya PrinzAndrew PedrozaPeru KavalieriA well-meaning scientist's attempt to develop a green source of energy unleashes a frankenstein of the sea.
- DirectorAlan GadneyStarsVictor BuonoJohn CarradineWilliam ChalleeA young artists spends the night at a mysterious inn, where he meets a group of strange, sullen people, among them the innkeeper's beautiful daughter. What he doesn't know is that he has wandered into a kind of spiritual void, and the inn's residents are engaging in a battle over his soul.
- DirectorGeorge CahanStarsJean-Pierre AumontAlix TaltonTônia CarreroA four-alarm murder mystery, this nerve-tingling story is about a dashing, prominent builder in Brazil who is mistakenly accused of killing his wife, but because of it learns the truth about the woman he thought he knew.
- DirectorFrank AgramaStarsRobin AskwithRula LenskaValerie LeonA female film crew journeys to Africa where a giant ape, Queen Kong, falls in love with the crew's male star.
- DirectorRogelio A. GonzálezStarsWanda HendrixBarry CoeGisele MacKenzieA plot to murder a rich woman results in her ending up in a catatonic state and buried alive.
- DirectorPaul RappStarsAngelique PettyjohnCharlene JonesBunny AllisterIn the distant future, the world is under the control of a master computer. However, small groups of people view ancient sex films, from the 20th Century, in secret for fun.
- DirectorRicardo IslasStarsAdriana CatañoNadia RowinskyKhotan FernandezA voodoo priestess raises a zombie horde to exact her personal revenge.
- DirectorBoris PavlovskyStarsSava PopovicKatie DuganTomiEight college students are stalked and killed by a maniac dressed in a hag mask.
- DirectorC. Thomas HowellStarsC. Thomas HowellSofia ShinasAnthony ClarkA business executive gets mixed up with a killer female and her lesbian roommate, who plot to take over his fashion business.
- DirectorNorihisa YoshimuraStarsSaki KagamiNana KasaiYuriko SakumaStudents fear for their lives as mutant deadly killer bees invade. Horror and panic sweep the campus. Will anyone survive?
- DirectorUlli LommelStarsElissa DowlingChristian BehmPatrick FaucetteThree serial killers team up at the US/Mexican border town of Juarez and go on a killing spree.
- DirectorLorenzo Munoz Jr.StarsUnodozJ10Jose E.A pair of hip-hop performers kill drug dealers to finance their music.
- DirectorPhillip J. RothStarsLane LenhartRobert TossbergBrenda SwansonIn a post-apocalyptic future, a wheelchair-bound veteran volunteers for an experimental cybernetic program that will allow him to walk again, only to find that it turns him into a lethal killing machine pre-programmed to kill the last remaining member of the resistance - the woman he loves.
- DirectorAlbert PyunStarsJenny Dare PaulinMorgan WeisserAlan AbelewOn May 19, 2004, an unprecedented biological outbreak occurred in Lawton, California. A classified N.S.A.A. report detailed the carnage which ensued that night. This film is based on that top-secret report.
- DirectorLaurence JacobsMark StockStarsRobert ClarkeAnn RobinsonDavid StafferA Martian begins to attack the patrons and staff of a movie theater during the 1950's as a low budget science fiction film plays on the screen.
- DirectorJesús FrancoOlivier MathotStarsHoward VernonAntonio MayansLina RomayA young doctor visits the secluded home of his ailing mentor - Eric Usher - who believes the house itself is alive and plotting to drive him insane, manifesting itself through ghostly apparitions.
- DirectorDavid Lee MadisonStarsBrad LoreeEdward X. YoungStephen GeoffreysHow does a man react when he loses everything he loves? MR. HUSH has an answer: with brutal, terrifying violence. A frightening throwback to the slasher films of the 1980s, this is a classic horror flick that is hard to shake.
- DirectorUlli LommelStarsVictoria UllmannChristian BehmGerard GriesbaumA being known as "The Puppetmaster" holds victims captive in a tomb and tortures them.
- DirectorScott BuntStarsTom SaviniTroy HollandIngrid PittBeyond the Black Forest, in the fairytale village of Heidelberg, an unspeakable evil has taken root. One by one, Heidelberg's citizens have fallen into trances, awakening under the control of a dark master, the mythical Christian king Prester John (
- DirectorKarl KempterStarsMatthew BiancanielloLorene ScafariaSara BerkowitzBizarre and Horrific events take place in the course of one night in an average motel.
- DirectorKevin LewisStarsJohn SavageSean YoungMichael BondiesA college student is hired to simply deliver a car to an LA parking garage. The job sounds too easy, so he checks the trunk and becomes a target in a secret war between forces of Heaven and Hell who are after the contents of the trunk.
- DirectorDavid L. HewittStarsScott BradyAnthony EisleyGigi PerreauHard-nosed new boss Stanton takes over a scientific research company upon the death of his benevolent father.
- DirectorNick MillardStarsPriscilla AldenRobert CoppleCharles EganA severe decrease in funding forces a mental hospital to release mass-murderer Ethel Janowski into a halfway house. Ethel is psychotic and delusional and has a hefty appetite. In fact, her killing spree began 13 years before with the murder of her grandmother, who had forced her to go on a diet. Now that she's tasted the home-cooked fare at the halfway house, she'll do absolutely anything to get more.
- DirectorRene Martinez Jr.StarsLoye HawkinsCathy DavisPatricia FultonA private detective operating in Miami is hired to protect the wife of an African head of state in town for diplomatic business, and to recover the daughter of the leader of a criminal organization, who has been kidnapped by a rival gang.
- DirectorEmmanuel ItierStarsTim YoungTodd RexTiffany ShepisWhen high school loner Lester is betrayed then viciously murdered, the bodies start stacking up as the scarecrow seeks vengeance from beyond the grave.
- DirectorJohn PoloniaMark PoloniaStarsMark PoloniaArmand SpostoMaria DavisThe Hayden family move into a new home with a disturbing past.
- DirectorTerry BeckerStarsJennifer BillingsleyJohn ConsidineJudith McConnellBeautiful young girls are kidnapped off the streets of Manila by a death cult that needs their blood to remain immortal.
- DirectorMatt JaissleStarsLarry DuBoisShawn ScarbroughDon ReumA priest visits an old friend, who has gone to Hollywood to become a movie star. He finds out that his friend has sold his soul to Satan for stardom and now regrets it. The priest determines to help his friend fight the devil and regain his soul.
- DirectorSynczStarsMichael George OwensKate Hunter BrownJoanna SyczA man murders his wife, but she comes back as a ghost and bedevils the family.
- DirectorKarl PetryStarsDolores FullerConrad BrooksDeana DemkoWWI soldier is saved (or, is he cursed?) by the efforts of a vampire. Afterwards, GI settles in New Jersey, where detective theorizes about unsolved murders and disappearances.
- DirectorAnthony C. FerranteStarsIan ZieringTara ReidJohn HeardWhen a freak hurricane swamps Los Angeles, nature's deadliest killer rules sea, land, and air as thousands of sharks terrorize the waterlogged populace.