Films of 2019, Part II: The Bad & The Ugly
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17 titles
- DirectorRian JohnsonStarsDaniel CraigChris EvansAna de ArmasA detective investigates the death of the patriarch of an eccentric, combative family.
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DISAPPOINTING,
FOR VARIOUS REASONS
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KNIVES OUT
Am I the only one being annoyed by Daniel Craig’s „acting“? He’s joyless in the Bond-films. And whenever he’s doing something else (e.g. LUCKY LOGAN), he’s overacting in a manner that’s hurting the films. Apart from that heavyhanded nuisance I thought the makeup of the actors was utterly unflattering, especially to the otherwise gorgeous Ana de Armas. Finally, Rian Johnson is way too fond of himself.
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KIRSCHBLÜTEN UND DÄMONEN
DER GOLDENE HANDSCHUH
SWEETHEARTS (probably because I had such high hopes)
SHAZAM!
M.I.B.: INTERNATIONAL
GODZILLA II
DORA AND THE LOST CITY OF GOLD
LITTLE JOE
AD ASTRA (Why so serious? Brad Pitt was stiff, TLJ gave me the willies, and GRAVITY pulled this movie down.)
AFTER THE WEDDING (Coming close to being a persiflage.)
BOY ERASED & BEN IS BACK (or is it Boy is Back & Ben Erased?)
GEMINI MAN
A RAINY DAY IN NEW YORK (No, not because of Ronan & Mia & all that. Woody Allen has directed many of my favorites, that will never change. He just has to do better in terms of directing and coming up with worthy one-liners.)
THE GOOD LIAR (Is this a happy caper or a serious history lesson? It isn’t working on either level, getting worse by the minute.)
DESTROYER (This one relishes in its own fatalism too much.)
US (Sometimes gripping and unnerving, but all in all unconvincing.)
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Blah (I’m getting too old for this)
PET SEMATARY
CHARLIE’S ANGELS
DET. PIKACHU
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AND NOW FOR THE REALLY UGLY
(As always: Counting down backwards,
the worst film of the year being mentioned last) - DirectorSimon KinbergStarsJames McAvoyMichael FassbenderJennifer LawrenceJean Grey begins to develop incredible powers that corrupt and turn her into a Dark Phoenix, causing the X-Men to have to decide if her life is worth more than all of humanity.16.
X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX
The end of the X-Men, rather sad that it had to be with a half-hearted repetition of all the themes from better movies. Bottom of the pit: The way Jennifer Lawrence exits the saga (without an iota of respect) is shameless. - DirectorMarco KreuzpaintnerStarsElyas M'BarekAlexandra Maria LaraHeiner LauterbachA young lawyer stumbles upon a vast conspiracy while investigating a brutal murder case.15.
DER FALL COLLINI
Elyas M’Barek is one hell of a comedian. Too bad he wants to be taken seriously. - DirectorOtto BathurstStarsTaron EgertonJamie FoxxBen MendelsohnA war-hardened Crusader and his Moorish commander mount an audacious revolt against the corrupt English crown.14.
KING OF THIEVES
Robin Hood for teenies. I’d rather revisit Kevin, Morgan & Alan a million times than to sit through this one a second time. - DirectorChad StahelskiStarsKeanu ReevesHalle BerryIan McShaneJohn Wick is on the run after killing a member of the international assassins' guild, and with a $14 million price tag on his head, he is the target of hit men and women everywhere.13.
JOHN WICK 3
I know, I had „I’m getting too old for this“ before. But JOHN WICK goes beyond boredom. Only Halle Berry got my attention for some minutes. Moreover, the movie didn’t stick to the promise to end it all. I hope I’ll be strong enough to skip Part 4. - DirectorTim BurtonStarsColin FarrellMichael KeatonDanny DeVitoA young elephant, whose oversized ears enable him to fly, helps save a struggling circus, but when the circus plans a new venture, Dumbo and his friends discover dark secrets beneath its shiny veneer.12.
DUMBO
Is this still the Tim Burton of EDWARD SCISSORHANDS? I highly doubt that. - DirectorHans Petter MolandStarsLiam NeesonLaura DernMicheál NeesonA grieving snowplow driver seeks out revenge against the drug dealers who killed his son.11.
COLD PURSUIT
Liam Neeson has been the star of several B-action-classics. This one isn’t among them. It’s a bore about amateurs in the snow. - DirectorM. Night ShyamalanStarsJames McAvoyBruce WillisSamuel L. JacksonSecurity guard David Dunn uses his supernatural abilities to track Kevin Wendell Crumb, a disturbed man who has twenty-four personalities.10.
GLASS
That’s what happens if you expect something from a M. Night Scharlatan movie. What a waste of time! - DirectorJim JarmuschStarsBill MurrayAdam DriverTilda SwintonTwo pioneers fight for their lives and their love on the American frontier during the Civil War.9.
THE DEAD DON’T DIE
Unfunny Jarmusch-„genre“-stuff. - DirectorFelicitas DarschinStarsUlrike ArnoldBen BlaskovicGundi EllertWife mother animal.8.
FRAU MUTTERTIER
Unfunny German comedy about motherhood. - DirectorMelina MatsoukasStarsDaniel KaluuyaJodie Turner-SmithBokeem WoodbineA couple's first date takes an unexpected turn when a police officer pulls them over.7.
QUEEN & SLIM
A supposedly clever couple doing so many idiotic things from the handbook of idiotic things, you have to lose respect for them. - DirectorNeil MarshallStarsDavid HarbourMilla JovovichIan McShaneCaught between the worlds of the supernatural and human, Hellboy battles an ancient sorceress bent on revenge.6.
HELLBOY
Unclean in every sense of the word. How could a director like Neil Marshall, who came up with great films like THE DESCENT and CENTURION, end up with dreck like this? - DirectorDavid LeitchStarsDwayne JohnsonJason StathamIdris ElbaLawman Luke Hobbs and outcast Deckard Shaw form an unlikely alliance when a cyber-genetically enhanced villain threatens the future of humanity.5.
HOBBS & SHAW
This lazy expensive B-movie makes a cheap comedic actioner like IRON SKY 2 almost look decent. - DirectorAndy MuschiettiStarsJessica ChastainJames McAvoyBill HaderTwenty-seven years after their first encounter with the terrifying Pennywise, the Losers Club have grown up and moved away, until a devastating phone call brings them back.4.
IT: CHAPTER 2
Everything that was swell and adventurous the first time around is dumb and ugly this time; I couldn’t root for anybody. I didn’t care for anybody. - DirectorMike FlanaganStarsEwan McGregorRebecca FergusonKyliegh CurranYears following the events of The Shining (1980), a now-adult Dan Torrance must protect a young girl with similar powers from a cult known as The True Knot, who prey on children with powers to remain immortal.3.
DOCTOR SLEEP
Not only is the project a sacrilege per se, it is just a bad movie. - DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsSteve CarellFalk HentschelMatt O'LearyA victim of a brutal attack finds a unique and beautiful therapeutic outlet to help him through his recovery process.2.
WELCOME TO MARWEN
When the great Robert Zemeckis is off, he’s WAY off; time will tell if this clunker is really worse than BEOWULF. I never thought this day would arrive. - DirectorSteven KnightStarsMatthew McConaugheyAnne HathawayDiane LaneA fishing boat captain juggles facing his mysterious past and finding himself ensnared in a reality where nothing is what it seems.1.
Terrible, the bottom of the pit. I wish I had never met any of the unsympathetic characters. I couldn’t care less about them, and the intellectual triple whiff about Sein & Schein near the end didn’t do anything for me. I felt dirty after watching this movie.