I Dare You to Watch the UNWATCHABLES
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLE (2.1 - 3.0)
You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
My Rating System compared to IMDB:
10 IMDB = A+ (9.7 - 10.0) - Perfect
9 IMDB = A, A- (8.9 - 9.6) - Excellent
8 IMDB = B+, B, B- (7.7 - 8.8) - Very Good
7 IMDB = C+, C, C- (6.5 - 7.6) - Strong
6 IMDB = D+, D, D- (5.3 - 6.4) - Fair/Good
5 IMDB = E+, E, E- (4.1 - 5.2) - Worse than a D, Better than an F (E for Effort)
4 IMDB = F+, F, F- (3.1 - 4.0) - Fails, but still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them.
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLES = 3 (2.1 - 3.0) = You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
1-2 IMDB = The Worst Movies Ever Made = 1 (0.1 - 1.0), 2 (1.1 - 2.0)
You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
My Rating System compared to IMDB:
10 IMDB = A+ (9.7 - 10.0) - Perfect
9 IMDB = A, A- (8.9 - 9.6) - Excellent
8 IMDB = B+, B, B- (7.7 - 8.8) - Very Good
7 IMDB = C+, C, C- (6.5 - 7.6) - Strong
6 IMDB = D+, D, D- (5.3 - 6.4) - Fair/Good
5 IMDB = E+, E, E- (4.1 - 5.2) - Worse than a D, Better than an F (E for Effort)
4 IMDB = F+, F, F- (3.1 - 4.0) - Fails, but still recommend seeing these films, because you have to see these films to believe them.
3 IMDB = UNWATCHABLES = 3 (2.1 - 3.0) = You shouldn't waste your time watching these films, but they are not the Worst Movies Ever Made. I still dare you to watch these.
1-2 IMDB = The Worst Movies Ever Made = 1 (0.1 - 1.0), 2 (1.1 - 2.0)
List activity
17 views
• 0 this weekCreate a new list
List your movie, TV & celebrity picks.
61 titles
- DirectorIshirô HondaJun FukudaKengo FurusawaStarsKenji SaharaMachiko NakaTomonori YazakiA latchkey child living in the industrial city of Kawasaki confronts his loneliness through his escapist dreams of Monster Island and friendship with Minilla.AKA: Godzilla's Revenge (1969)
- DirectorJack PollexfenStarsLon Chaney Jr.Max ShowalterMarian CarrCharles "The Butcher" Benton, a brutal death row inmate gets double-crossed by his crooked lawyer. He gets his chance for revenge when, after he's been executed, a bizarre experiment brings him back to life and more deadly than ever.Indestructible Man (1956), has the legendary, Lon Chaney JR., playing the "Butcher", Charles Benton, who becomes a murdering, mute killing machine, after being struck by lightning. There is no dialogue from Chaney after the opening scenes. The main idea of the film is pretty good. It tries to take horror, combine it with crime, drama and film-noire, but it takes the most basic parts of those components and creates a boring, mindless, mute story. On the dramatic, crime-side of the equation, Indestructible Man (1956), becomes just another crime-story, about stashed loot, that an escaped killer is searching for. On the horror-side of the equation, this film is just another mad scientist vehicle, with another messed-up creation, terrorizing the Hollywood countryside. Even by 1956, this form of horror film had been used up and needed to be shelved in favor of more clever ideas on horror. This film also contains, that low-budget, sexploitation angle, that was seen a lot in 1950s horror cinema. The main squeeze of Butcher Benton, is a burlesque star named Eva Martin (Marian Carr). The police believe she knows where Benton's loot is, but she really didn't know him that well. The blonde bombshells make their presence known. Along with Eva, is her stripper-friend, Francine (Peggy Maley), who substitutes for Eva for extra cash.
One thing in this film, that brings some interest to film buffs, involves one of the locations Indestructible Man (1956), was shot at. Filmed in Los Angeles, at the historical, Bradbury Building, some of the story also takes place in Hollywood. Unconvincingly, goofy-looking, police detective, Max Showalter (credited as Casey Adams), plays Lt. Dick Chasen, who manages to, unrealistically, pick-up the beautiful show girl, Marion, while the search for Butcher Benton continues. Actually, it isn't surprising, since she somehow got mixed up with Butcher to begin with. Marion has the worst taste in men. By this time in his career, Chaney is heavy and drunk. His career had been steadily falling since his glory days as the Wolf Man (1941) and he had become an alcoholic. The same close-ups of him are repeated in areas of the film, that didn't fit in with the scene. Indestructible Man (1956), contains horrible editing applied to this story, with many shots, out of place with each other. It contains ridiculous close-ups of Chaney's expressions and facial twitches.
The film-noire aspect of the movie is there, but can't burst out, because the film is not well shot, not well edited and the audio utilized in the soundtrack, is not good either. There are moments when actors are moving in the wrong direction. This awful editing affects the continuity of the scene. You can tell this during the climactic chase scene in the sewers, which has a couple of good shots in it. Definitely, the B-team was working on this film. The music was more of that canned music, heard over and over again, in low-budget movies of the 1930s. This whole film could have been made in the 1930s, considering its low budget appearance and poor execution. Considering its design, this film does resemble a silent movie. The choice to go with Chaney, not being able to talk, was a bad idea. The moments of no-dialogue interrupted the scenes badly.
What we end up with, is a ridiculous ending to a film, that never really got started. However, Indestructible Man (1956), does end at a cool looking electrical plant. The electrical plant was another good choice by the location scouting hat. We also get treated with a serious Joe Flynn sighting, as he is cast as the loyal lab assistant, to Robert Shayne's, misguided mad-scientist, Dr. Bradshaw. For those too young to remember, Joe Flynn was most famous for being Commander Wallace Binghamton on the famously, popular, comedy-war, television sitcom, McHale's Navy (1962-1966). At least, there is that! The rest pf the characters are shallow, pointless, empty shells, with no real background at all. I originally felt this movie was as bad as a 1/10, when I first saw it 40 years ago on UHF television, but after watching it again, with a 21st century streaming service, on an HD television, remastered by whoever, I bumped that grade up to a 3/10.
2.4 (MyGrade: Unwatchable) = 3 IMDB - DirectorRalph BrookeStarsWilton GraffJune KenneyWalter BrookeA crazed hunter kidnaps people and turns them loose on his private estate, where he hunts them for sport.
- DirectorCharles B. PierceStarsCharles B. PierceCindy ButlerChuck Pierce Jr.A professor and three of his students camp out in the wilderness to find a Bigfoot-type creature.
- DirectorBob ClarkStarsAlan OrmsbyValerie MamchesJeff GillenSix friends in a theatrical troupe dig up a corpse on an abandoned island to use in a mock Satanic rite. It backfires with deadly consequences.
- DirectorRafael PortilloStarsRamón GayRosita ArenasCrox AlvaradoThe evil Dr. Krupp, once again trying to get possession of the Aztec princess Xochitl's jewels, hypnotizes her current reincarnation, Flor, to get her to reveal the jewels' location - Xochitl's tomb. Confusion reigns as Krupp and his thugs are opposed by Flor's lover, Dr. Almada, his assistant, and wrestling superhero, El Angel. Krupp finally meets his match, however, when he comes up against Popoca, the warrior mummy who guards Xochitl's tomb.So, this is the second installment of the Aztec Mummy trilogy and the third installment, Robot VS the Aztec Mummy (1958), was the one that got the most attention and exposure in the U.S. In the 60 years since these came out, most of us saw the third installment and are now back-tracking to see the other two that are available now. The third film is more of an edited down version of the first two movies, told through flashback, with some extra footage added in to round out this confusing, lost, badly scripted, badly dubbed, trilogy. I had no idea Angel, the Wrestler-guy was part of this. He's nowhere to be seen in Robot VS the Aztec Mummy (1958), so that was somewhat interesting and somewhat disturbing to find out. Why was he cut? Who knows?
Anyway, this film explains a lot about why certain things were omitted from the third film. The scenes with Angel are atrocious, right down to the fake machine guns, so fake that they don't even flash or have smoke coming out of them. They are totally shaken by the actors to show the machine gun effect. Badly done machine gun sound effects are used too. Very elementary school. It's understandable why the wrestler-guy was taken out for the third film. I will say this, the fight scenes and action scenes with Angel remind you of the classic cliff-hangers that Hollywood put out in the 30s, 40s and 50s. It had a nice feel for that. Probably the only thing that keeps this film from getting a 1 or a 2.
3 (Unwatchable MyGrade) = 3 IMDB - DirectorJohn 'Bud' CardosTobe HooperStarsWilliam DevaneCathy Lee CrosbyRichard JaeckelSomeone, or something, is on an indiscriminate killing and mutilation spree during night-time. Frustrated by the clueless police, the father of the first victim is looking for answers, no matter how far fetched they are.Acting seems ok, but the film is ruined every time the monster appears. And just because it is called The Dark doesn't mean you need to go cheap on lighting equipment.
- DirectorLuciano ErcoliStarsFrank WolffNieves NavarroSimón AndreuAfter a French stripper is harassed by a man who wants a cache of diamonds stolen by her late father, she flees to England in the company of a doctor, but danger follows.
- DirectorAl AdamsonSamuel M. ShermanStarsJ. Carrol NaishLon Chaney Jr.Zandor VorkovDracula conspires with a mad doctor to resurrect the Frankenstein Monster.
- DirectorNoriaki YuasaStarsNobuhiro KajimaMiyuki AkiyamaChristopher MurphyAliens kidnap two children and take them to another planet for the purpose of getting knowledge from their brains, but Gamera follows and tries to rescue them.
- DirectorNoriaki YuasaShigeo TanakaStarsKôjirô HongôTôru TakatsukaCarl CraigGamera the Flying Turtle falls under the spell of evil aliens, but two children free him and he returns to fight the aliens' monster, Viras.
- DirectorJoseph SargentStarsLorraine GaryLance GuestMario Van PeeblesChief Brody's widow believes that her family is deliberately being targeted by another shark in search of revenge.
- DirectorMichael ValverdeStarsJoan SeveranceCorbin BernsenRodney ScottBored housewife Lisa Wayne embarks on a steamy affair with a younger man, Sam. But as her behavior grows more reckless, her cop husband, John, becomes quite suspicious - and Lisa's precarious situation grows even more dangerous.
- DirectorHarry EssexStarsPier AngeliKerwin MathewsJeff MorrowA team of researchers discovers a strange mutation of man and octopus who proceeds to terrorize them.
- DirectorDavid ChiangJimmy Wang YuStarsJimmy Wang YuDavid ChiangLieh LoThe martial world is now awash in one-armed knights, who aren't inclined to make any permanent alliances among themselves.
- DirectorCharles BandStarsRobert GlaudiniDemi MooreLuca BercoviciIn a post-apocalyptic USA, a doctor/scientist infected with a new strain of parasite ends up in a small desert town, trying to find a cure.This film is so bad that it is hard to recommend it. If it wasn't for the fact that it is Demi Moore's first starring film there would be no value to it. See it if you want to see that glimpse of stardom in Demi's eyes, but be aware. This one stinks.
- DirectorJohn WatersStarsDivineDavid LocharyMary Vivian PearceNotorious Baltimore criminal and underground figure Divine goes up against a sleazy married couple who make a passionate attempt to humiliate her and seize her tabloid-given title as "The Filthiest Person Alive".
- DirectorMichael ReevesStarsBarbara SteeleJohn KarlsenIan OgilvyA newlywed English tourist and an eccentric Transylvanian Count must work together when the former's beautiful wife is made the bodily host of a horrific witch.
- DirectorPete WalkerStarsAnouska HempelRay BrooksSusan SheersLight-hearted and occasionally unclothed adaptation of a British comic strip in the over-the-top, on-beyond-Bond spy fantasy vein.
- DirectorHerschell Gordon LewisStarsConnie MasonWilliam KerwinJeffrey AllenSix people are lured into a small Deep South town for a Centennial celebration where the residents proceed to kill them one by one as revenge for the town's destruction during the Civil War.
- DirectorJerry A. BaerwitzIshirô HondaMotoyoshi OdaStarsMyron HealeyTsuruko KobayashiClifford KawadaHeavily alerted American version of Japan's Varan. A prehistoric behemoth is unwittingly awoken from hibernation due to a U.S-Japanese military experiment for economic means on it's watery lair.
- DirectorMassimo DallamanoStarsFabio TestiKarin BaalCristina GalbóA teacher who is having an affair with one of his students is reluctant to present an alibi when his lover witnesses the first in a series of murders connected to their school.
- DirectorKevin TenneyStarsJames W. QuinnKathleen BaileyJudy TatumParapsychologists try to make an inn haunted by an evil witch's ghost safe for guests.
- DirectorStuart E. McGowanStarsTim ConwayAl StelloneEllen GersteinVernon Praiseworthy is a clumsy but lovable dope who stands to inherit his uncle's fortune. The condition is that he travel the rails as a penniless hobo just as his uncle did in the dark days of the depression. That seems simple enough until he gets involved in a dog-napping plot.
- DirectorKevin O'NeillStarsJena SimsSean YoungTreat WilliamsAspiring college cheerleader Cassie Stratford consumes an experimental drug that grants her beauty and enough athletic ability to make the cheer squad. It has an unforeseen side effect - she starts to grow and grow and grow.
- DirectorDavid ZuckerStarsKevin P. FarleyKelsey GrammerLeslie NielsenAn anti-American filmmaker who's out to abolish the July Fourth holiday is visited by three ghosts who try to change his perception of the country.
- DirectorJeff LiebermanStarsDon ScardinoPatricia PearcyR.A. DowA storm causes some power lines to break and touch the ground, drawing millions of man-eating worms out of the earth, and into town where they quickly start munching on the locals.
- DirectorPatrick ReaStarsKristen VaganosJennifer SewardManon HalliburtonA sadistic, small-town sheriff and her underlings brutalize Lisa and leave her for dead in the woods. Bitten by a werewolf and bestowed with supernatural abilities, can Lisa retain her humanity as she exacts revenge?
- DirectorMar LoStarsBetty Ting PeiDanny LeeSha WangThe story of action star Bruce Lee's life in the days leading up to untimely death.
- DirectorFritz BöttgerStarsHarald MareschHelga FranckAlexander D'ArcySurvivors of a plane crash on a remote island find it is covered by spiders. When bitten, the survivors start turning into spiders!
- DirectorJohn GulagerStarsDanielle PanabakerVing RhamesDavid HasselhoffAfter the events at Lake Victoria, the pre-historic school of blood-thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened waterpark.
- DirectorSam NewfieldStarsRichard FraserMaris WrixonLionel RoyceHunters and scientists venture into the jungle to track down a savage albino gorilla, which they believe could be the missing link between man and ape.
- DirectorBill RebaneHerschell Gordon LewisStarsPhilip MortonJune TravisGeorge PerryA space capsule crash-lands on Earth, and the astronaut aboard disappears. Is there a connection between the missing man and the monster roaming the area?
- DirectorArthur JeffreysStarsSallee YoungHarry ReemsDeborah AlterAfter being gang raped and institutionalized, a woman suffers nightmares while under the care of her unfaithful husband, and finally snaps when a group of masked youths decide to invade her house.
- DirectorRobert HiltzikStarsFelissa RoseJonathan TierstenKaren FieldsBunks and showers are a mad stabber's beat at a summer camp strictly for teens.
- DirectorTom GraeffStarsDavid LoveDawn BenderBryan GrantA young alien and a teenage earthling fall in love, and plot to stop the alien's race from using Earth as a food-breeding ground for giant lobsters from their planet.
- DirectorBoaz DavidsonStarsBarbi BentonCharles LuciaJon Van NessWhile receiving a routine check-up, a woman finds herself stranded on the hospital's eighth floor, while someone dressed as a doctor is intent on her never leaving, even if it means killing any staff member who comes into contact with her.
- DirectorHerb FreedStarsJohn SaxonLynda Day GeorgeMichael DanteAn architect and his wife move into a colonial mansion, where the demonic presence of the original owner's wife takes residence.
- DirectorAnthony M. LanzaStarsBruce DernPat PriestCasey KasemDr. Roger Girard, a mad scientist who dares to combine two heads onto one body, despite serious consequences.
- DirectorKim HenkelStarsRenée ZellwegerMatthew McConaugheyRobert JacksA group of teenagers get into a car crash in the Texas woods on prom night, and then wander into an old farmhouse that is home to Leatherface (Robert Jacks) and his insane family of cannibalistic psychopaths.
- DirectorBert I. GordonStarsJoan CollinsRobert LansingJohn David CarsonCon artist Marilyn Fryser tries to sell bogus real estate deals in an area overrun by giant ants.This film starts out as a wildlife documentary, chronicling the life of ants. This is one of the more interesting parts to the film. A group of people, looking remarkably like the passengers and crew of the SS Minnow, board a boat, to look at real-estate, on an offshore island in Florida. Meanwhile, bad people start dumping toxic drums into the ocean. Here is the first indication, that we are dealing with the late-1970s, science-fiction, sub-genre craze, known as the toxic chemical, disaster film. This film also is a sub-genre of the 1970s disaster film boom, known as the animal-out-of-control sub-genre. Everything from Jaws (1975) to Grizzly (1976) to the Swarm (1978), fed into the release of this film. There even is a Jaws-styed theme song on the soundtrack for Empire of the Ants (1977). Of course, this would be a shout-out to John Williams soundtrack from Jaws (1975). The soundtrack in this film isn't too bad, for a science fiction film from the 1970s. TV and film composer Dana Kaproff, does use a little bit of a Bernard Hermann lilt to the soundtrack as well.
The technical, artistic execution of the film, which is an interesting story, based on an H.G Wells short story, totally kills the success of this film. The low-budget spent on the film, was a killer too. Our cast includes a group of potentially, good actors, but the direction of Gordon doesn't sell the acting and dialogue very well. We have popular TV talent, like Robert Lansing (Gary Seven on Star Trek - 1968), Pamela Susan Shoop (Halloween II - 1981), Chris Pine's dad, Robert Pine, as the crummy, selfish creep and our conniving land developer, Joan Collins. Eventually we do find out, who the bad guys are, responsible for dumping the toxic chemicals. Eventually, our idiot characters end up in trouble with the ants too and race to escape from the island nightmare behind them. I don't know why they were all worried. The island looked like a peninsula on the map they used in the film.
What follows are the worst ant special effects I have ever seen. It is funny watching the ants try and walk accidently into the sky. The filmmakers just didn't care about it and went with what they had. The sound effects are bad too. The ant sound effects they picked are very annoying. It actually sounds like a woman screaming really loud. It was another technical choice, that could have been removed. Instead, Bert I. Gordon enrages his audience even more with the addition of those sounds. Next, we are introduced to the ridiculous idea, that the queen ant, can take over the minds of the townspeople using its pheromones it emits. She shoots the mist at the victims in a glass chamber inside a safely disguised warehouse. The whole town doing her evil bidding. It becomes a pointless story. What a way to ruin H.G. Wells. Brutal.
2.9 (UNWATCHABLE) = 3 IMDB - DirectorBud PollardStarsRuth GilbertRalph HertzLillian ArdellA young girl named Alice falls down a rabbit-hole and wanders into the strange world of Wonderland.
- DirectorChester Wong Chung-GwongStarsChung KwanYi-Chan LuChien-Ping LiJohn and Sandy go in search of the missing members of a mercenary crew.
- DirectorLindsay ShonteffStarsBryant HalidayDennis PriceLisa DanielyA big-game hunter bags a taboo lion in Africa, returns to London and feels a Simba chief's wrath.
- DirectorJoe MazzucaStarsArthur FranzClaudia JenningsCheri HowellDuring an all-girl secret society initiation, one of the new members is killed playing Russian Roulette. Many years later the survivors are invited for a reunion to a lavish estate.
- DirectorHarry L. FraserStarsRay CorriganLorraine MillerGeorge J. LewisA white gorilla is snubbed by black gorillas because he is the wrong color. Cut off from his tribe he becomes lonely and angry. After troubling hunters and natives, the white gorilla fights the king of the black gorillas while we are told by a narrator that the fate of Africa hangs in the balance. The movie was made by editing some 1947 acting into footage from a 1927 silent serial, Perils of the Jungle, starring Frank Merrill the fifth screen Tarzan.
- DirectorLeón KlimovskyStarsJack TaylorDyanik ZurakowskaJosé GuardiolaA busload of tourists stops in to visit a small European town. What they don't know is that the town is completely inhabited by vampires.
- DirectorChi LoStarsDavid ChiangFeng HsuPaul Chang ChungWhen an evil warlord tries to control the masses by using Christianity as a cover for his secret agenda, an earnest martial arts master (David Chiang) vows to expose the warlord's ultimate, deadly goal - to assassinate the Emperor. Filled to the brim with thrilling fights.
- DirectorBruno VeSotaStarsRobert BallFrank Ray PerilliGloria VictorTwo Abbott and Costello-type soldiers find plantlike creatures that are under the control of two beautiful alien scientists who are bent on conquering Earth.
- DirectorDanny SteinmannStarsBarbara BachSydney LassickLelia GoldoniThree female reporters find themselves staying overnight in a house occupied by a hostile being that lurks in the basement.This attempted rip-off of Psycho (1960), Dario Argento and maybe even, Tod Browning's Freaks (1932), starring Mrs. Ringo Starr, Barbara Bach has a stylized feel, but is incredibly boring and totally ridiculous.
(MyGrade - UNWATCHABLE) = 3 IMDB - DirectorAntonio MargheritiStarsLee MajorsKaren BlackMargaux HemingwayJewel thieves attempt to recover treasure from piranha infested waters. Mistrust and betrayals happen amongst the gang in the quest for gold.
- DirectorBert I. GordonStarsMarjoe GortnerPamela FranklinRalph MeekerA group of friends travel to a remote Canadian island to hunt, only to be attacked by giant killer animals which have populated the place.(MyGrade - UNWATCHABLE) = 3 IMDB
- DirectorJon HessStarsJoseph BolognaDee WallaceRichard LynchA giant alligator makes a city lake his new feeding ground and must be stopped before he breaks out into the surroundings.
- DirectorJuan Piquer SimónStarsJack ScaliaR. Lee ErmeyRay WiseSiren II, a submarine under the command of Capt. Phillips, ventures into the deep on a mission to recover the missing Siren I. Their quest is hindered when the submarine becomes entangled in a patch of toxic seaweed.
- DirectorMary Ann FisherStarsBradford DillmanPriscilla BarnesDaryl HaneyMan has finally conquered the ocean. America's first self-contained undersea laboratory is the pride of the nation, and expectations are high for an elaborate undersea mining operation. What wasn't expected was the inhabitants of an undiscovered world.
- DirectorBruno VeSotaStarsEd NelsonAlan Jay FactorCornelius KeefeThe inhabitants of a small Illinois town begin disappearing after a strange cone is found sticking out of the ground nearby.Roger Corman was an uncredited co-producer on the Brain Eaters (1958), which was produced by the film's main actor, Ed Nelson and cost, in 2023 numbers, around $275,000. That is still seriously, low-budget numbers. The Brain Eaters (1958), is a silly premise about creatures from a metal cone, attaching themselves to the necks of human beings, in an attempt to take over the world, through mind-control. The film has potential, because it does begin to resemble an Outer Limits (1963-1965), episode, but the acting, poor production values and low-budget atmosphere, makes it hard to really enjoy this film. The creatures look like clumps of wet hair in glass tubes.
I knew I was in trouble, when, one of the actresses from Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959), showed up, as the main leading, female character, of the Brain Eaters (1958). It is fair to say though, that Joanna Lee's performance in this film, was much better than her embarrassing turn in Ed Wood's classic, but that isn't saying much. Even at 61 minutes, this film was still a tough one to watch, so I am definitely putting the Brain Eaters (1958), on my Unwatchable Films List. There is however, one saving grace for this film. Covered in smoke and barely recognizable, this film costars a young, Leonard Nimoy, who was so new to his career, that the credits were accidentally misspelled as Leonard Nemoy. He makes a brief appearance, as the emissary of these brain-eaters and is really the only great part of the film. The rest is an embarrassing mess, with droplets of cinematic gems flicked in.
3.0 (UNWATCHABLE) = 3 IMDB - DirectorWilliam GreféStarsJoe MorrisonValerie HawkinsJohn VellaA deformed man working for a marine biologist takes revenge on the people that mock him by experimenting with a deadly jellyfish.
- DirectorRhys Frake-WaterfieldStarsNikolai LeonMaria TaylorNatasha Rose MillsAfter Christopher Robin abandons them for college, Pooh and Piglet embark on a bloody rampage as they search for a new source of food.
- DirectorJerry WarrenStarsJohn CarradineRobert ClarkePhyllis CoatesWhen the cable breaks on their diving bell four people find themselves trapped in a hidden underwater world.
- DirectorSompote SandsShohei TôjôStarsKo KaeoduendeeAnan PrichaYodchai MeksuwanThe Hindu god Hanuman teams up with Ultraman and his brethren against familiar Ultra-foes in this rare Ultraman movie co-produced in Thailand.So, we need to go on a little backstory on this film first. By 1974, The Ultra-Series, as it is known today, had just completed its sixth series, Ultraman Taro (1973–1974) and was moving onto its seventh, Ultraman Leo (1974–1975). The franchise was a huge success, but they really hadn't done anything on a theatrical film level yet. A mistake was made when Tsuburaya productions set up a Thailand branch (Chaiyo Productions) and worked out a deal to make a joint Japanese/Thai production of Ultraman. All of this lead to rights disputes, lawsuits and a lot of extra editing time, during this legal battle, that is still being fought today in the 21st century. So, because every one had to get their pound of flesh, there are at least three versions of this film out there.
This film is the Thai version. There also is a Japanese version known as, The 6 Ultra Brothers vs the Monster Army, which was released in Japanese theaters in 1979, which I am assuming, removed all the scenes of Hanuman. The film was repurposed again for the American/European television release and was known as, Space Warriors 2000 (1985), which is even more awful than this version. So, for this review I am only talking about the Thai/Japanese coproduction version. The version I found on YouTube is in great shape. I was impressed by the quality. It was in its original widescreen too. I watched it with the English subtitles. You can tell the difference between the Thai production and the Japanese production. There is a distinct difference in the film stock, color hues on the film and an overall, separated mood of the two different productions.
There is definitely a cultural difference going on here, especially from a western audience member's perspective, like me. The story is about Kochan, a young boy, who is brutally killed by thieves, invading his village's sacred ancient temple. Like Hayata with Ultraman, the Ultra people see Kochan get killed by these invaders and revive his body, as the essence of Hanuman. The kids are the only characters in the movie, that are in this part of the story. Where are the adults? There are no adults in the Thai village scenes? Anyway, the other half of the movie revolves around a scientist, who has invented a way to produce rain from the sky. An accident happens, blowing up his experiment, which unleashes a hoard of monsters on Earth. It'll take the combined efforts of Hanuman and the Ultra brothers to stop the monster army. That is, if you get this far into the story.
This film contains ridiculous moments of comedy, that bring the film to a screeching halt. There are two characters, who are supposed to be expert pilots, who more resemble keystone clowns (not cops, but clowns), than anything else. Their presence kills every scene they are in. There also is a story in the middle of the film, that explains nothing to us, but features some images, that make it seem like the director, was inspired by the silent film classics of Georges Melies. The special effects are not that bad, even though this film is on a limited budget and probably was done in Thailand, not Japan. The effects do capture the magic of kaiju films though. The music used in the film reflects the cultural background of the production, but totally does not radiate the feeling of a kaiju, Ultraman film. It is totally out of place. The one major issue with this film is Hanuman is the star and the Ultra brothers are his guest stars.
There also is a moment when Hanuman does some creepy stuff with his tail. It may not have looked strange in 1974 Thailand, but it sure looks strange for the 21st century. I wouldn't let kids under ten years old see this film. It does have some violent moments you wouldn't think would be in a film like this and Hanuman has no problem killing bad guys. Hanuman also doesn't have a problem cutting the monsters limbs and heads off either. Also, the bad guys didn't have a problem beating up Kochan before they killed him. Hanuman is a vengeful character (rightfully so). However, if you are looking at this film, as being good entertainment for the kids, just be prepared. I'll leave it up to you, if you think it's OK for young kids. The end couldn't come any quicker, because, just when you thought this film was over, more pain came. It is a tough film to watch and I hope it doesn't sour your exploration of Ultraman. This really isn't true Ultraman. All I did through this whole movie was shake my head. By the end of the film, I was hoping the Ultra brothers would turn and beat up that annoying Hanuman. I really feel like the Thai filmmakers wanted to ruin Ultraman, which probably explains why Tsuburaya Productions has been trying to hide this awful smear on Ultraman's resume, for the last four or five decades.
PMTM Grade: 2.1 (U) = 3 IMDB - DirectorRichard E. CunhaStarsJohn AshleySandra KnightDonald MurphyDr. Frankenstein's insane grandson attempts to create horrible monsters in modern-day L.A.