Saturday Night Live (1975)
Blue State Christmas - "I hope those morons get the message. A lump of coal is too good for hicks who hate nice queers like Moby here."
◄ IMDb Polls
Poll: Greatest SNL Christmas Sketch?
Everyone has their favorite - which is yours?
Make Your Choice
-
-
Norm MacDonald in Saturday Night Live (1975)
A Burt Reynolds Christmas - "Oh, wait a minute, I know this one. Is this the one where the elf pulls his johnson out in the whorehouse?" -
Chevy Chase in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Christmas Eve at the White House - "Fred, you've been with me a long time now. I don't think that on Christmas Eve you have to call me 'Mr. President'." -
Will Ferrell in Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Christmas Kangaroo - "Now, on Christmas morning all the Australian boys and girls might not get toys, but it spared the horror of watching a giant marsupial taking their old man to browntown. And isn't that what Christmas is all about?" -
Saturday Night Live (1975)
Christmastime for the Jews - "Now it’s nearly 10:30. Yes, it’s time for bed, Daily Show reruns dancing in their heads. Maybe next year they’ll learn how to hold their booze. Christmastime for the Jews." -
Jennifer Aniston and Rachel Dratch in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Christmas Urchins - "Just a morsel of beef in our tiny bellies, and we'd be on the crapper for days!" -
Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer in Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Culps' Christmas - "You know, I would like to ask all the employees at the Relax the Back store across the way there to relax the middle fingers you're holding up right now. That's just unbelievably rude." -
Alec Baldwin, Ana Gasteyer, and Molly Shannon in Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Delicious Dish on NPR, where Pete Schweddy stops by and brings out his balls - "Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure." -
Mike Myers and Victoria Jackson in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Dysfunctional Family Christmas - "Daddy's nose is red and runny. Daddy's voice is rough and funny. And the only words I can understand are 'God' and 'Damn' and 'Christmas'." -
Alec Baldwin, Fred Armisen, and Rachel Dratch in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Glengarry Glen Christmas - "Put that cocoa down! Cocoa's for cobblers only. Do you think I'm screwing around? I am NOT screwing around. I am here from Kris Kringle. I'm here from the North Pole. And I'm here on a mission of mercy." -
Tom Hanks and Mike Myers in Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Global Warming Christmas Special with Carl Sagan and Dean Martin - "Dean, the mean temperature in Las Vegas will one day rise to 156 degrees, making it uninhabitable and rendering such landmarks as the Aladdin Hotel stark monuments to an age of self-indulgence." -
Adam Sandler in Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Hanukkah Song - "O.J. Simpson, not a Jew. But guess who is? Hall of Famer Rod Carew - he converted!" -
Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Harlem Globetrotters' First Christmas - "If we win, it's manger time for Mary and Jo-Jo." -
Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, Tracy Morgan, and Horatio Sanz in Saturday Night Live (1975)
I Wish It Was Christmas Today - "All I know is that Santa's sleigh is making its way to the USA!" -
John Malkovich in Saturday Night Live (1975)
John Malkovich Reads "Twas the Night Before Christmas" - "When I was a child, we used to suck on pennies. You know what I'm saying? And it was a delight." -
Andy Samberg in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Mark Wahlberg Talks to Christmas Animals - "I like your stick hands. I have real hands. But we can hang out! Just let me know. Say hi to your mother from me." -
Seth Green in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Mary Gross' Joy of Christmas (including a 7-year-old Seth Green) About Christmas - "It just isn't what it used to be. I remember in, uh... '77, '78... THAT was Christmas!" -
Michael Bublé in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Michael Bublé's Christmas Duets - "I got Hep-C!" -
Eddie Murphy in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Mister Robinson's Christmas - "I have so much in common with Santa Claus. We both like to sneak into your house late at night. Only Mr. Santa Claus likes to leave things. Mr. Robinson prefers to take a few things every now and then." -
Victoria Jackson in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Mrs. Claus on Getting Santa to Skip Christmas - "I'm horny as a bat from Hell. I need your love - can't you tell? Santa, please skip Christmas this year!" -
Mike Myers, Jon Lovitz, and Victoria Jackson in Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Night Hanukkah Harry Saved Christmas - "On Moishe, on Herschel, on Schlomo! It's Hanukkah Harry eight nights a year!" -
Justin Timberlake and Will Forte in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Salvation Army versus Homelessville - "Here I go, here I go, here I go again. Girls, what's my weakness? SOUP!" -
Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Santa's My Boyfriend - "Santa's my boyfriend, and we'll have a wonderful life. I can't wait for the time, when he'll truly be mine and he'll leave his bitch of a wife!" -
Cecily Strong in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Serial: The Christmas Surprise - "I had to ask myself, 'could Kris really have done this? And if so, how?'" -
Bill Hader and Seth Meyers in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Stefon's Christmas Guide - "New York's hottest holiday club is Blitzen! And, right now, they're having a '12 Days of Christmas' dance party! And it has EVERYTHING! 12 jacked albinos... 11 Little Richards... 10 piercer babies... 9 Asian Balkis... 8 gay Aladdins... 7 psychos swearing... 6 PuertaScreeches...Puerto Rican Screeches... 5 homeless Elmos... 4 coked-up frogs... 3 French hens... Tay-lor Ne-gron... and a hu-man park-ing co-o-o-o-one!" -
Steve Martin in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Steve Martin's Holiday Wish - "And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season...the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you." -
Nora Dunn and Jan Hooks in Saturday Night Live (1975)
The Sweeney Sisters' Bells Medley - "You know, when we think of Christmas, we think of one thing. Yeah, maybe you do, too. Bells!" -
Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, and Andy Samberg in Saturday Night Live (1975)
This You Call a Wonderful Life? (the Hanukkah version of It's a Wonderful Life) - "Dr. Bernstein says that, 'every time a bell rings, you should get your prostate checked'." -
Taran Killam and Aidy Bryant in Saturday Night Live (1975)
(Do It On My) Twin Bed - "Let's do it in my twin bed. Probably fall off it. But let's get wild in a bed for a child." -
Jack Black and Rachel Dratch in Saturday Night Live (1975)
A Very Downer Christmas - "I wouldn't drink unrefrigerated dairy if I were you. Unless diarrhea is on your Christmas list." -
Bill Hader and Kate McKinnon in Saturday Night Live (1975)
You're a Rat Bastard, Charlie Brown - "All the adults...voiced by the incomparable Fran Drescher." -
Ryan Gosling and Beck Bennett in Saturday Night Live (1975)
Santa Baby - "I cannot, in good conscience, pass up the opportunity to thank that beautiful man for bringing me presents every Christmas until my parents left at a very young age."
