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- 19981h7.9 (304)TV SpecialThe "big" secrets revealed: Crushing a Lady, Teleporting Lady, Tranced Lady of Steel, Walking Through a Wall, Animating a Suit of Armor, Shooting an Arrow Through a Lady, Switching Places with Executioner, Box of Pain, Water Torture Escape.
- C.J. plans to leave for Las Vegas to spend Christmas there because his parents always spent their holiday at some exotic location while he was "dumped" to some nanny. Cate shows C.J. a Christmas photo from when she was 10 years old and succeeds in changing his mind. Cate makes the mistake of promising that the family celebrates this Christmas exactly like in the photo - and C.J. wants all the details duplicated... Rory surprises everyone with the revelation that he has a rich girlfriend. But what kind of Christmas present can he give to a girl who has everything?
- Rory has reached the age of regular self-pleasuring. A stunning younger woman is hanging around with principal Gibb. He introduces her as his "friend" Cheryl, but she is much more intimate with him than that. Cate is jealous. Gibb asks C.J. to let Cheryl attend his classes in preparation for her upcoming final exams to get a GED certificate. Gibb wants to make sure Cate is not uncomfortable about him dating Cheryl. Cheryl, meanwhile, asks "personal tutoring" from C.J. - in the privacy of her home... What will C.J. do? And Rory gets caught with his pants down - literally.
- Cate finds a note in Kerry's pants that were with the laundry. It's an e-mail from Bruno Cunningham. And the only Bruno Cate is aware of is the guy to whom Kerry lost her virginity and who then broke her heart. Cate confides in Bridget, who's shocked to learn that Kerry is keeping in touch with Bruno - without telling her! Cate is afraid Kerry will get hurt again and wants to ask her if she's going to meet Bruno again, but Bridget convinces her that she should give Kerry some privacy. Then she herself goes to ask Kerry if there is anything going on. But Bruno is already in the house and Kerry has offered the attic for him to sleep in while he's passing by during backpacking around America!
- Bridget gets suspended from school but she's covering for Kerry so she can go to her summer program in Europe. C.J. is waiting a call from Aerosmith, Gramps from Cate's mom. Cate goes to talk to Gibb about the girls, with surprising result.
- Kerry gets in the art program in Europe in the summer, but Cate forgot to submit her medical records in time. Together they appeal to principal Gibb. C.J. falls for Missy's big sister Sissy and Gramps for a woman he has a car accident with.
- The girls want to break the family Spring Break tradition and go to the Maeve Festival instead. Cate can't take a break from work, so she orders them to visit grandma. Rory has a crush on Kerry's friend Rachel. Naturally Kerry tells Rachel.
- Having seen Cate in the arms of a man, the girls run away, leaving Kyle behind. The only one arriving the Maeve Festival is C.J., unfortunate for him. Soon the family starts worrying about the girls - except for Rory, who has other worries.
- 2002–200520mTV-PG7.4 (116)TV EpisodeBridget needs extra-curricular activities to boost her college applications. So she joins the drama club - and gets the lead, upsetting Lacey, who expected to get it, and Kerry, who only gets to be one of the crew. Rory tries ventriloquism.
- Cate is gathering the courage to e-mail an old boyfriend Matt. Jim remembers telling Cate to stay away from the guy. Then C.J. takes the liberty of sending the e-mail. Soon after that, Cate declares that she's taking some time off from taking care of everything and locks herself inside her room. Suddenly, there is a knock on her window. It's Matt (played, thanks to brilliant casting, by none other than Katey Sagal's old cast-mate Ed O'Neill from Married with Children)!
- Bridget gets assigned as a geek's lab partner, hires him as a tutor and finds herself oddly attracted to this Jeremy when Dylan gets sick. It's Kerry and Kyle's first Valentine's Day together. Rory has trouble figuring out a gift for Missy.
- 2002–200520mTV-PG7.1 (123)TV EpisodeRory has started a webcast centering on school rumors, and C.J. starts helping him. Bridget tries to get Jeremy to go to the dance. The PTA, to which Cate belongs, outlaws "suggestive" dancing, and Kerry decides to rebel. And Damian returns.
- C.J. doesn't wan't to share the room with Jim anymore, so Jim agrees to move to the "scary" attic if C.J. manages to spend one night alone there. A scout from Princetown is coming to see Bridget play tennis and Kerry becomes very upset at the very thought of Bridget possibly getting a scholarship to Princeton. But Bridget is about to flunk maths which would mean she won't get to play when the scout arrives...
- Rory won't reveal who beat him up. CJ fails to get him painkillers. The girls get fake IDs; and Bridget gives their number to a cop. They fear Cate answers his call. CJ fears the pharmacy calls. Cate fears Scott calls. Who answers whose call?
- Granpa takes the children and C.J. ice fishing. Meanwhile, Cate goes on a dinner date with principal Gibb. Since the house is empty and it's Friday, Cate invites Gibb to watch Arabian Lawrence with her. The next morning Cate awakes on the sofa with Gibb on top of her... just before grandpa returns home early with the kids.
- It's Prom Night. Bridget learns that the planned after party has been canceled. She then mentions at home that she's decided to throw the after party at a hotel and asks her mom to book a room, but Cate forbids her to even take part in any after party. Kerry has published a pro-lesbian article in the school paper, gets asked to the prom by a lesbian girl. Kerry thinks their appearance together would make a statement, but does not realize that the girl is attracted to her. Rory gets asked to the prom by a girl with somewhat questionable reputation - a fact with which Cate is not at ease with at all. When C.J. points out that if Cate does not book a room, the kids will find someone else who will, the only solution Cate can come up with is to announce that the after party will take place at their house...
- Cate's determined to have the traditional Thanksgiving with the family even without Paul. When the girls say they want to go to a party, she tells them to bring their dates to dinner instead. Rory is told that he's the man in the house now.
- Bridget has injured her leg in a bathroom accident, but tells everyone that Kerry pushed her down the stairs. Principal Gibbs informs C.J. that he can start working as a substitute teacher. Cate learns that C.J. wrote a recommendation letter in her name and forged her signature. In his defense, C.J. claims that he's doing exactly what Cate wanted: something worthwhile with his life. But when he catches Rory for cheating, will he be able to turn Rory in to Gibbs, who has zero tolerance against cheating?
- Rory has a crush on the new exchange student and wants to go shopping for new clothes. He does no longer want his mother's company, only her credit card. Bridget can't allow Rory's poor choices in clothing because it would reflect poorly on her, so she decides to give Rory a changeover. Meanwhile, C.J. has earned access to the teachers lounge. Unfortunately C.J. gets on the bad side of Mr. Edwards by first calling him "Mr. Ed" and then breaking his coffee cup. The man uses prison inmate style tactics to intimidate C.J. and kick him out of the lounge. Granpa tells C.J. confrontation is the only way out... Granpa tells Cate she has to accept that the kids grow up.
- C.J. asks the girls' math teacher, the Japanese Mrs. Krupp, out - and she accepts. To everyones surprise, their date goes well and they start seeing each other. Then Cheryl turns up, claiming that she missed C.J. and suddenly he is in the most unlikely of situations: having to choose between two women on a Valentine's Day.
- Dorothy thinks ALF's favorite TV soap opera is sleaze, and shows him her favorite which ALF thinks is boring. Angered, ALF argues that he could write a better script than the writers. So ALF actually writes a script and sends it in.
- While ALF now is into gardening, Willie has a problem at work: A lost Mexican boy is at his office and Willie is trying to track down his father. When that fails, Willie has no option but to bring the boy home.
- When ALF wins a free weekend at a vacation home, Trevor offers to fly everyone there with his plane. ALF, who doesn't want to pass on the free holiday, smuggles himself aboard as cargo.
- ALF develops a crush on Lynn and starts to sabotage the dates with her boyfriend Scott while trying to come up with something to impress her.
- Tired of lying to keep ALF a secret to others, Willie goes to see a therapist.
- To cheer up the sad ALF, Brian and Willie start broadcasting a message into space - and are very surprised when old friends of ALF answer them and offer to pick up ALF.
- ALF plays matchmaker with Dorothy and her new boyfriend Whizzer.
- Willie is making the final changes to Brian's song in the school pageant where the kids dress as vegetables. Unfortunately, Brian forgets the lyrics. ALF, who has been introduced to rap music by Lynn, offers to help.
- During a power outage, ALF believes that Raquel was murdered by Trevor when he watches them have arguments through their windows.
- Kate's mother arrives for a surprise visit that forces the Tanners to lock ALF in the garage. The problem is that ALF just can't stand being not allowed to roam around in the house, so he just has to do something.
- Leaving ALF alone is a recipe for disaster so the family takes him along in the RV. The weather turns stormy and ALF gets bored sitting in the RV and starts complaining. Willie goes mental and kicks out ALF. In defiance, ALF wanders off.
- When everyone is leaving the house for the evening except Brian and ALF, Kate doesn't want ALF to babysit Brian, so they ask Mrs. Ochmonek to babysit. When Mrs. Ochmonek starts to watch "Psycho", ALF tries to sneak out of the bedroom.
- ALF discovers the alluring world of horse racing thanks to Kate's mom who bets on them. When the concept of a bookie is explained to ALF, he gets the bright idea of getting the Tanners some money through betting.
- ALF still believes that his name is insurance agent Wayne Schlagel and has also called the police to the Tanners. The Tanners have only a short while, so they try to make ALF remember who he really is by telling more stories from the past.
- Brian needs to come up with a project for the Science Carnival. On his own, Brian creates a model of the Solar System. ALF points out that there are inaccuracies and offers to help. He tells Brian that there are two more planets.
- Though Jim finds Cheryl's anecdotes boring, he advises Ryan that a husband must pretend to like a wife's stories because listening is foreplay. Cheryl hears it and argues with Jim. Jim boasts that he's an unbeatable showman. This means war!
- Ryan shocks everyone by offering to help with the dishes. Jim gives him a talking to and forbids him from giving Dana an expensive anniversary locket because it will make Jim look bad. Ryan gives it anyway. This means war: Jim against Ryan.
- Tisnewski is sent to Iraq to reprimand an US army unit who may have crossed the border over to Iran during a mission. On the way back to Baghdad, Tisnewski's transportation unit is ambushed, everyone with him gets killed and he goes MIA. When Washington determines his location, they learn he's deep in Iran. McNulty has also personal problems to solve: he's being accused of sexual harassment.
- Sean sees Henry's new friend Ryan for what he is: a spoiled brat. Brad's friends get on Lily's nerves. Jimmy is excited because Ashley said he is cute. Claudia sees Eddie with a woman but Eddie doesn't want to talk to her. What's he hiding?
- Eddie is about to lose Hope (the girl, not the concept). Brad's spent past summers at space camp and told the guys he's got a girl, Lana, there. Nobody's believed him, but when he's about to stay the summer with Lily, Lana comes to see him.
- Tim plans to take Jill on a romantic Valentine's Day getaway.
- At home: Tim's project hot rod is finally in the stage where he can see if it starts up. It doesn't. Tim takes a break. Jill wants him to fix a doorknob, the burner on the stove, the gas line and the ice dispenser. Tim keeps postponing them all because of the hot rod. Jill declares that she will fix the stove and the ice dispenser. Tim forbids that and promises he will fix everything, "soon". Jill becomes tired of waiting and calls a repairman to fix the stove. Tim does not approve. Then the repairman sees the hot rod and in an instant forgets all about the stove... In Tool Time: It's Lawn Care Week. Tim gives a speech about mowing the lawn and presents several types of grass. Later during the week, they will salute clippers and sprinklers, but first they salute fertilizers.
- 1991–199930mTV-PG7.7 (388)TV EpisodeJill mentions the need for another sink in the bathroom, and Tim promises to add one plus a whirlpool, and anything else Jill wants. Tim decides to make a "Tool Time" special about a bathroom re-do at his home because that way the show will cover much of the cost. Of course, things don't go as smoothly as planned...
- A woodpecker keeps Tim awake at night. He's trying hard to get rid of it, but Mark has been feeding it and named it Pete. Brad tries to fake being sick in order to be able to stay home because his math homework is not done since Jennifer used to do it until she refused and Brad broke up with her. When Brad flunks in math Randy suggests that he tell Jill that Jennifer left him and he's depressed because of it. This works, until Jennifer turns up and Jill learns the truth. Tim and Jill have to teach Brad and they find out that multiplying compound fractions is not as easy as they thought it would be... In Tool Time: Tim demonstrates how to lay a new floor. Tim has one of his genius ideas regarding how to scrape off the old floor. With the usual results.
- At home: The boys pull a prank on a sleeping Tim. Tim and Jill's wedding anniversary is coming up. Tim bribes the boys to reveal Jill's surprise gift for him. When he finds out how cool it is, he realizes he has to give Jill something she really wants - ballroom dancing lessons with him! The problem is, Tim can't dance at all. The boys try to pull a prank on a sleeping-as-far-as-they-know Al. In Tool Time: Tim demonstrates a nail gun. With disastrous effects.
- On "Tool Time": Tim has a tip on how to avoid hitting oneself on a finger while holding a nail. Tim also has received a fan letter which he decides to read out aloud to the audience. The writer of the letter and his friends are construction workers who have invented a way of "cooking with power and steel". Tim invites them to demonstrate this on the show. At home: Brad and Randy are ashamed of being seen in public with their "geek brother". Jill thinks she and Tim should tell Brad and Randy not to torment their little brother, but Tim has another idea: they have to "out-torment" Brad and Randy. They try Jill's idea, but when that seems to have no effect, Tim gets a chance to try his idea... Tim then finds some old 8-track tapes in the basement, and he and Jill start quizzing each other about the music of the 1960s and 1970s.
- It's family night at the Taylors. Randy would like to re-watch 'Bury Me Again' and Tim suggests 'Bayonet Hell', but it's Jill's time to choose and she wants to see 'The Sound of Music'. Then Tim's college roommate Stu calls to say that he's in town. Tim agrees to meet him over a beer, because Jill finds him obnoxious and doesn't want him in their home. However, Tim can't tell Stu he is not welcome... On "Tool Time": Tim demonstrates how to heat insulate a window.
- At home: Brad is going on his first date, but is uncomfortable about having to learn how to dance. Jill's friend Karen is coming for a visit; she and Tim don't like each other. Karen mocks Tim about his power tools, saying that men buy them because they are insecure about their manhood, then claims men are aggressive and destructive and that society is male-dominated. Tim claims his relationship with Jill is an equal one, but Karen comes up with tricky questions to test that. On "Tool Time": Tim demonstrates how to apply laminate. The process involves a new instant glue, the use of which requires great care - which Tim does not quite manage.
- On Tool Time: Tim is demonstrating how to make a brick wall. Since it's Halloween, he also dresses up as a monster in an attempt to scare Al. Together, they carve jack-o-lanterns. Except that Tim has invented a new method for achieving the same result - with, you guessed it, more power! With predictable results. At home: Tim has turned the basement into a "haunted house" for Brad's Halloween party. Brad has agreed to dress up as "Raggedy Andy" because Jennifer is coming as Raggedy Ann. But Brad is stunned when she comes as a biker chick with another boy, having changed her mind because she claims Brad had been insensitive to her. Also, the impolite Curtis is back!