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- Brad Cooley is called back, after the Wellington teacher catches Bernie Mac exploding at Jordan and Bryana repeated said a dirty word at school (one of course she overheard from no other than Bernie Mac).
- After a Jewish family arrive in the neighborhood, Bernie urges Jordan to befriending the son, David. Though hesitant at first Jordan begins to develop a friendship with his new neighbor. Not long after-wards David invites Jordan to attend his cousin's bar mitzvahs with him. After receiving various expensive parting gifts Jordan and David decide to crash bar mitzvahs of people to whom they do not know in order to receive more gifts. Before long it's time for David's bar mitzvahs but Jordan comes to a dilemma because this happens to be the same day of a very wealthy boy's bar mitzvahs. So Jordan must beside between friendship or material possessions.
- In this episode, Wanda neglects to tell Bernie that a group of children are coming for a play date. Bernie spends the day entertaining three ladies, stay-at-home wives of men that work with Wanda. At a company picnic, Bernie realizes that Wanda's boss thinks that he's a stay-at-home Dad... Let the pontificating begin!
- 2001–202322mNot Rated7.7 (53)TV EpisodeWhile the rest of the family is out seeing Chicago, Vanessa calls and leaves a message for her mother and goes out to meet friends. Her friends fight with her, take her shoes and leave her alone. Vanessa's mother returns her call and agrees to meet her in a half-hour. Bernie shares a story with Nessa about his own father, that he's never shared with anyone.
- Bernie discovers that Vanessa has been undermining his authority over the younger children. He decides to retaliate only to find out that the situation isn't what he thought it to be.
- Bernie Mac loves Christmas and is eager to give a Mac family Christmas to the kids. The kids just want a dog and Uncle Bernie will not allow that, so the kids start treating Bernie unkindly. Bernie struggles with what to do because of their attitude. An angel, in the form of a dog, pays a visit and the kids learn the meaning of selflessness.
- Relatives pester Bernie at a family barbecue; Bernie quashes Vanessa's flirtation with a distant cousin.
- After misbehaving yet again, Bernie punishes Bryana and Jordan severely. Yet again Wanda thinks he's being too hard on them. But in the end, she catches on. Vanessa turns out to be the sneakiest of them all.
- Bernie calls on India.Arie to help out with Vanessa's talent show.
- Jordan is getting bullied at school, so Bernie Mac teaches him how to stand up to them. But his tactics turn Jordan into even bigger bully. Even more interesting we see that Bernie Mac is an even bigger bully.
- Baby girls daddy Brian helps out around the house and the kids start preferring him over their Uncle Bernie causing Bernie Mac to take offense. Baby girl gets called flat chested at school and Brian and Bernie fight over who gets to buy her a new bra. Jordan competes for best smile at school.
- Bernie offends Wanda's boss (Wesley Snipes) at a dinner party.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated7.5 (33)TV EpisodeAfter several failed attempts, Bernie and Wanda realize that making a baby is harder than they thought, and Wanda begins to question their fertility.
- 2001–202323mNot Rated7.5 (59)TV EpisodeBernie creates a public relations disaster while facing off with Matt Damon and Lucy Lawless in a charity golf tournament.
- After getting dumped, Bernie's friend Kelly moves in. At first it doesn't go well, but eventually he starts helping out and getting along well with the kids. But soon Bernie thinks he's becoming a permanent role model for the kids, and taking Bernie's place.
- Bernie delays his Las Vegas flight to take the children to the movies as promised; Bryanna and Jordan sneak out of a G-rated movie to watch more-exciting fare.
- When a litigious neighbor (Greg Germann) asks Bernie to tear down the treehouse he built for Jordan, it leads to an all-night standoff.
- Bernie Mac makes the family go to church one Sunday. But not even after a long service Bernie Mac is the one wanting it to end. Later, he gets suckered into one of their outside programs that watch/monitor his home life.
- Bernie Mac learns that he has high cholesterol, but refuses to change his eating habits/diet.
- The kids' carelessness causes Bernie to have a near-death experience.
- At age 44, with a house full of kids, Bernie Mac starts to feel his age. He attempts to fight it, but it's a losing battle.
- Jordan and Bernie Mac start a fantasy football league but do poor; and Bernie Mac won't really listen to Jordan. With that, Jordan eventually goes to a different league secretly behind Bernie Mac's back. Vanessa primps herself up with make-up for her senior photo. Bryana wants some of the make up too, so Vanessa gives her some of her old makeup. But Bryana gets caught with it at school.
- Bernie Mac tries to give Jordan the best birthday party ever.
- Uncle Bernie has a curio cabinet full of his trophies from school and has permitted Bryana's certificate to be placed in it. Jordan is desperate to earn a trophy to be placed there also. Everyone on the football team gets a trophy, so Jordan joins the team. Jordan earns a special trophy, while putting his manhood on the line for the team.
- Now that the kids are here to stay, Bernie Mac starts really laying the smack down after the kids (in his viewpoint) have been treating his house like a free hotel.
- After an attempted robbery, Bernie Mac starts getting over-protective. But his techniques seem dangerous and rather paranoid. In the end though, he learns that anything can happen anywhere and you can't just shut yourself away from it; you have to live your life.
- Bernie tries to scare away Vanessa's new boyfriend but realizes what a good role model he is for Jordan; Wanda has trouble letting go of her old shoes.
- Upset that the kids laze about every Saturday, he gets them involved in extra curricular activities. But he soon learns that, letting them laze about would have been better, as he has to be good parent and help out with these activities.
- When Jordan learns that Bryana has pink eye and has to miss a whole week of school, he goes crazy deliberately trying to get it too. But his results keep backfiring even in the end.
- When the children become obsessed with gifts, Bernie decides to cancel Christmas altogether; Wanda loses the Christmas spirit when she tries to get everyone on her staff a gift.
- Separate schools have been chosen for each of the kids, with their individual needs in mind. Baby Girl's school lets each child decide what they wish to learn. A Catholic school with its strict discipline is chosen for Jordan and an all-round school for Nessa. When the first day of school begins, Bernie discovers the hard work of getting them there, presentable and prepared.
- Jordan's prank anonymous phone calls have surprising consequences.
- Shortly after Jordan gets a snake for a school project, Bryana and Jordan starting fighting each other like wild animals.
- Bernie and Wanda seriously discuss adopting the children as their own.
- Wanda's sister visits and wants to throw a roller-disco party for Wanda's birthday.
- Bernie must baby-sit for Bryana and deal with Jordan, who was sent home from school for pulling a fire alarm unnecessarily.
- After overhearing that Vanessa once smoked, Bernie Mac pries into her journal. Soon he gets hidden cameras all throughout the house and becomes addicted to watching everyone's secrets. But eventually he gets more than he bargained for.
- Bryana is upset when Bernie takes a villainous role opposite her favorite character, a friendly dinosaur (David Faustino); Jordan sells candy bars at school.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated7.3 (33)TV EpisodeBernie and Wanda have undertaken fertility treatments. Wanda suffers from mood swings due to hormonal issues. Distracted with the idea of having a child the couple neglect to stay on top of the kids they already have. Vanessa shares her experience with babies joining a family. She explains the baby will be Bernie's own baby girl, or his son. Everyone will have to adjust, and one will be replaced. Bernie and Wanda adjust to ups and downs with treatment, having to ride out extreme highs, lows, hopes, fears, and consider how committed they have to be to the process, rife with physical and emotional challenges. Jordan and baby girl attempt to regress to reinforce their positions in the family. When Bernie is unwilling to repeat previously bonding activities, they fear Vanessa is correct, someone is to be replaced.
- Bernie Mac gets to go on a morning radio show for a week. But what he says there gets the people close to him very upset. Towards the end of the week, he gets a taste of his own medicine.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated7.3 (39)TV EpisodeJordan is found to be a champion speller---until he gets in front of an audience. But Bernie's tip on beating stage fright backfires.
- Bernie Mac is embarassed how far his kids are lagging behind the children of the family of Vanessa's friend. Bernie vows to offer no more mindless videos, but complete 'immersion in education'.
- Bernie Mac gets a maid for himself only but the kids use the maid behind his back.
- After Bryana's birthday party the kids get sick. Bernie Mac is determined to go to Las Vegas, so he takes every precaution he can take but in the end still gets sick and has to spend the day with Bryana at home.
- After his sister goes into rehab, Bernie decides to take her children into his home. While trying to get them settled into their new surroundings, Bernie quickly realizes that raising children may be a bigger task than he expected.
- Nessa wants to surprise everyone with her talent for music.
- Vanessa turns to Curtis for help fixing up her junk heap when Bernie refuses to buy her a new car; Jordan schemes to attend a concert.
- Car-pool complications wreck Bernie; a boy in the car pool starts blackmailing Jordan to be his friend.
- A nasty heat wave in the dead winter of January hits the town. Tempers flare, including Aunt Wanda. After the A\C breaks, Bernie Mac really starts losing it. Eventually, just when things seem to cool down, the kids lock him out of the house, giving him a taste of his own medicine.
- Wanda disrupts Bernie's writing process as he prepares for an appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."
- The kids go on strike, after Bernie Mac doesn't pay them for the extra work they have to do.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated7.2 (36)TV EpisodeVanessa starts dating a boy and Bernie likes him until he finds out he has a child.
- Upset that Vanessa is living the free life, Bernie Mac has Vanessa work for him. Shortly, after wards Vanessa learns that his co-workers get all this free stuff because they mention they work for Bernie Mac. Vanessa takes big advantage of this, until Bernie Mac finds out. Later on, Vanessa has to bring one of his precious statues home but it breaks in a car accident. Jordan offers to fix it, with of course a price (some of the free stuff Vanessa got).
- Tired of having to run to the store all the time for the kids, Bernie Mac's friends introduce him to Cost Depot. At first this solution is so simple/fun but it soon gets very addicting.
- Wanda has vacation saved up and it's 'use it or lose it time'. She decides she'd like to spend the week, caring for and bonding with the children. At first it's much more than she expected, but ends the week wanting a child of her own. Bernie Mac 'puts his foot down'.
- Vanessa's school prom is coming up so Bernie Mac picks a boy friend out for her (after doing his usual protective background check). Even after he chooses, he has all these worried fantasies. Bryana injures her ankle so Jordan has to be her servant, but in the end after Bryana took it a bit far Jordan gets some redemption.
- Bernie's little sister is getting married, but the way Wanda throws herself into the planning, one would think she's the bride..
- Jordan tries to butter Bernie Mac up by playing chess with him just so he can play paint ball. When that doesn't work, Jordan sets his own little chess simulation up, which Bernie Mac totally falls for.
- Vanessa fails to invite Bernie to a father-daughter dance, and it drives him crazy.
- Bernie takes Jordan to the local barber shop to meet his friends. Unfortunately, Aunt Wanda doesn't like what goes on there, when Jordan casually repeats things said there. Bernie tells Jordan the code; what happens there stays there. Unfortunately, he forgets the 2nd half, what's said at home; stays there.
- Spending time with Bernie's manager teaches Jordan some harsh realities of show business. Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson have cameos.
- After a tragic accident happens at Bryana's birthday party, Bernie Mac gets summoned.
- Jordan receives a lecture on sins from Father Cronin, but it seems to really hit home on Bryana. In addition, both Jordan and Bryana learn that Bernie Mac is a big sinner too.
- 2001–202321mNot Rated7.1 (35)TV EpisodeBernie realizes he may have been too truthful when telling Jordan about his father, so he amends the truth to make Jordan think well of his father.
- Jordan tries out for the basketball team, but the coach decides he is better suited for gymnastics -- as a ribbon dancer.
- 2001–202321mNot Rated7.0 (38)TV EpisodeOn Bernie's 40th birthday, he is electrically shocked by an old lady and forced to be a clown at a children's party.
- Bernie makes Vanessa prove she can manage her money.
- Bryana's standardized test scores prompt Bernie to send her to Jordan's school, but she is so far behind that they threaten to move her back a grade.
- After coming home from being on the road for a week Bernie Mac wants nothing else to do but to go to sleep. But that suddenly changes when he gets invited to a Clippers/Bulls game as he has Jordan fake an asthma attack so they can sneak off to the game. Jordan though later thinks he should come clean to Aunt Wanda, but Bernie says bending the truth is OK sometimes to get what you want. Very bad advice for Jordan. Even more interesting, we learn the whole family tells lies.
- The family goes to San Diego for a relaxing vacation; Bernie, unable to relax, goes to Las Vegas for some gambling and debauchery.
- Bernie Mac's other sister Benita stops by for a visit and seems to corrupt the kids.
- Bernie and Wanda strive to present a united front when disciplining the children; Wanda becomes unhappy with this strategy because she's accustomed to playing the good cop.
- When Wanda invites Tasha, Vanessa's best friend from Chicago, to stay with them, Bernie is worried he will have another difficult teen in his house.
- Bernie Mac tries to ween Bryana off her doll.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated6.9 (35)TV EpisodeWhen Jordan develops a crush on a girl at school, Bernie takes it upon himself to teach Jordan how to be a "player" and get the girl.
- Bernie turns to Angela Bassett for acting advice when he lands a dramatic role as a stroke victim; Jordan leads a revolt at a day care facility; Vanessa pretends to be poor.
- Despite Bernie's offer to buy him a car, Wanda's father cannot get along with him; flashbacks show when they all met.
- After Bernie takes the training wheels off Bryana's bike, she crashes and injures her jaw. Bernie is later coerced into chaperoning her and several other special needs kids on a field trip. Meanwhile Jordan, finds an old cast and uses to get out of gym class.
- Jordan tries to fit in with the popular crowd and, after taking Bernie's advice, winds up losing his lunch money in a poker game.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated6.9 (36)TV EpisodeJordan dates Erica, one of the cheerleaders at school. Bernie is delighted, but when Jordan and Erica break up, he tries to remedy the situation.
- Bernie has no patience when trying to teach Vanessa to drive.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated6.8 (34)TV EpisodeWhen Bryana's father, Bryan (Anthony Anderson), visits, he threatens Bernie's relationship with Jordan and undermines Bernie's barbecuing techniques.
- 2001–202321mNot Rated6.8 (40)TV EpisodeJordan joins the wrestling team and wins matches by default because there's no one in his size/weight range to battle. But Bernie Mac doesn't know this.
- Vanessa tries to increase her chances of being accepted into a college by joining the drill team, which pleases Bernie until he sees one of the squad's provocative routines.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated6.7 (37)TV EpisodeThe kids finally cross Aunt Wanda's line while Bernie's away. Bernie gives Aunt Wanda "Big Mama's Belt" to keep them in line. The kids wind up fearing her even more than Bernie Mac.
- This story mainly focuses on three subplots. First Bernie Mac keeps interfering with Vanessa's pool party because there are boys there. Secondly, Jordan has a play date with a friend, but Bernie suspects that the friend has gay dads. In each of these Bernie worries when they get too close. In the third part, Vanessa and Jordan (with Bryana's help) keep interrupting Wanda's and Bernie's romantic night.
- The Mac family is invited over to one of Vanessa's teachers for Thanksgiving dinner; who are all vegetarians.
- Jordan turns 13, but still acts like a monster fighting with Bryana. Eventually Jordan lets Bryana walk all over him to avoid further punishment. When he gets his gifts back, Bernie holds back an R-rated movie. Later when Bernie asks Jordan to babysit Bryana one night, Jordan accepts just so he can watch the R-rated movie behind his back.
- After eating an entire Thanksgiving turkey, Bernie Mac has some weird nightmares; ones that might be telling him something.
- When a man arrives from Chicago claiming to be Bryana's father, Bernie is cautiously supportive.
- Bernie volunteers as a teacher's helper to assess the teaching methods used at Bryana's school; Wanda is at wits' end trying to reason with Vanessa and Jordan.
- Upset that the kids are dropping out of their extra curricular activities Bernie Mac decides to run in a marathon, but its much harder than he thought. In the end, Vanessa takes his place.
- After Bryana accidentally sees Bernie Mac naked, he has her share Vanessa's room so she can be with the same sex. But when things don't work out well, they're forced to add another bedroom, so each kid has their own separate room.
- In an effort to bring family members closer together, Wanda insists they participate in the annual parish retreat.
- 2001–202322mNot Rated6.6 (41)TV EpisodeDue to a death in the family, Bernie Mac must take a trip back home and will take Wanda and the kids. Vanessa is keen to see her mother while there. When they arrive for visiting hours at the rehab center, the kids' mother is nowhere to be found.
- Bernie stops by the Playboy Mansion to get advice from Hugh Hefner on how to talk to Jordan about sex.
- Bernie is sick and tired of Jordan staying home, watching TV, and fighting with Bryana. He wants him to walk home with his kids his own age, but this makes the situation worse.
- Bryana starts turning into a monster (acting like a spoiled brat, stealing things, and etc)
- Wanda urges Vanessa to join an enrichment organization she once belonged to, but they learn times have changed when Vanessa and her new friends are charged with shoplifting.
- Jordan learns some magic tricks and uses them to charm his first crush.
- Wanda's parents come for a visit and start seeming to run the house better than them. But when Wanda and Bernie go out for a day, the grandparents have a bit of a tough time watching the kids.
- Bernie Mac gets a motorcycle, but after crashing and having a dream of what would happen if he died; he goes crazy safety-proofing the house.
- Neighbor Carl Reiner plays the ultimate practical joke on Bernie.
- Dr. Phil McGraw counsels Bernie on how to deal with Wanda, who feels left out after Bernie and the guys draft a woman (Mo'Nique) into their group.