- Dulcy: What do you think! Mrs. Harper was acquitted. I always say, if a woman is good looking, no jury on earth can ever convict her.
- Gordon: Now, Dulcy, now you promised that if I let you invite the Forbes down here that you wouldn't interfere. And, now, to greet them, look what you've got: an ex-convict for a butler, a golf fanatic, an idiot of a scenario writer who's going to make love to Forbes daughter under you're very roof! Well, what a setting for my business with Forbes! Oh, boy!
- Mr. Forbes: [after looking through a telescope] I suppose on a clear day you can see Catalina.
- Bill: Oh, on a clear day you can see right into the neighbor's windows.
- Leach: I understand that you're trying to write for the pictures, Miss Parker. Oh, just you keep right on trying! All of you. And go and see the pictures! And see them and see them and see them. Study them. Learn how they're made. Why, the possibilities are...
- Bill: Enormous.
- Leach: Oh, yes, they're very big. You'd be surprised. You know, we're going to do some of Shakespeare's things next?
- Dulcy: Shakespeare!
- Leach: Yes.
- Dulcy: Shakespeare, Gordon!
- Gordon: Oh really,
- Dulcy: He's going to organize his own company next.
- Bill: Who, Shakespeare?
- Dulcy: No, Willy! Mr. Leach!
- Leach: Mr. Forbes, didn't I hear that you were very much interested in the pictures?
- Mr. Forbes: No, sir, you did not. I don't care a damn about pictures!
- Van Dyke: Do you like games?
- Mrs. Forbes: Yes, I do.
- Van Dyke: Oh, I know a wonderful game.
- Mrs. Forbes: You do?
- Van Dyke: Want to play? It's called guess who.
- Mrs. Forbes: Guess who?
- Van Dyke: Yeah. You come on, you stand up.
- Mrs. Forbes: Stand up.
- Van Dyke: Now, you close your eyes.
- Mrs. Forbes: Close my eyes.
- Van Dyke: Now, bend forward.
- Mrs. Forbes: Bend forward.
- Van Dyke: Now, don't you look. And you guess who.
- [slaps Mrs. Forbes on her bottom]
- Van Dyke: Now, guess who?
- Mrs. Forbes: It was you.
- Van Dyke: Oh, you peeked! Well, bend over again.
- Mrs. Forbes: Oh, no. I don't - I don't want to play anymore.
- Mr. Forbes: What does that mean?
- Angela: Why, nothing.
- Mr. Forbes: Isn't it enough to have Angela go tramping off with that - that brainless, idiotic motion picture jackass!
- Angela: Why, Mr. Leach is the most charming man. He's very successful.
- Mr. Forbes: Oh, bah! And on top of it all, I come here and find you spooning with Van Dyke!
- Dulcy: Aren't you having a cocktail, Mr. Forbes?
- Mr. Forbes: No. But, I would like a glass of plain water.
- Dulcy: Yes. Wouldn't you like some nice ginger ale?
- Mr. Forbes: Just - just a glass of plain water!
- Dulcy: Oh, Mr. Forbes, you're a show teaser. How about some nice near beer?
- Mr. Forbes: Really, Miss Parker, just a glass of plain water!
- Dulcy: All right. Or, some nice lemon pop!
- Mr. Forbes: Lemon pop? Oh! Strange as it may seem, I - I would like a glass of plain water!
- Dulcy: Oh, of course, Mr. Forbes. Perkins, bring Mr. Forbes a glass of plain water.
- Perkins: Yes, mum.
- Dulcy: With lots of ice in it.
- Perkins: Yes, mum.
- Mr. Forbes: Without any ice, please! Just a glass of plain water.
- Dulcy: Now, somebody tell me, which is higher? A heart or a spade? Or, do you discard from strength to weakness, Mr. Forbes? Of course, it really doesn't matter unless we're playing for money. Are we playing for money? Well, we can decide that after the game. But, I always like to know what my partner's rules are. So many people have different ideas of playing bridge. For instance, some people want you to give them the bid on a weak no trump! Of course, it's customary to give your partner your long suit on a weak no trump. But, it's very difficult to know anything, unless you have a very good hand. And, of course, if you have a good hand, in that case, you just say nothing! But, of course, your partner does expect a bid from you, I realize that. But, after all, if you haven't a good hand, what can you do? Oh dear! Here we are.
- Gordon: You knew I was in the hole and now you're going to get just what you deserve. You're going to get a first rate licking! You understand that? A licking!
- Van Dyke: Sell everything. Everything!
- Mr. Forbes: What?
- Van Dyke: War with Spain.
- Mr. Forbes: You mean, war between Spain and this country?
- Van Dyke: Oh, no. Spain and Abyssinia. I was talking for two hours with J.P. Morgan yesterday. But, keep it under your hat.