- intertitle: The night was dark - They usually are.
- Stan: It might get cold and die of ammonia.
- Ollie: Not 'ammonia' - he means pewmonia.
- Joe the Landlord: I don't care if you *all* die of pewmonia! Get it outta here!
- Ollie: [Stan and Ollie, in that order, wearing horse costume] Oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Oooooooo! Wait! Wait a minute! Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! Get off of my face! Oh! That settles it! That's the last time that I'm gonna be at this end of the horse.
- Stan: Well, I can't go in there.
- Ollie: Why?
- Stan: Well, you look better at that end than I do.
- Ollie: Do you mean to insinuate that I look like a horse's...
- Ringmaster: Here she is! The big attraction: Ethel - the human chimpanzee. She reads, writes, plays a piano, and milks a cow.
- Joe the Landlord: Oh, I beg your pardon! I thought you were my wife.
- Ollie: Well, that's - quite all right.
- Tenant: Joe, you're a bundle of nerves.
- Joe the Landlord: Oh, it's that rattle-brained wife of mine. She's at it again!