The Passionate Plumber (1932)

Jimmy Durante: Julius J. McCracken

Photos 

Quotes 

• Tony Lagorce : [meeting for a duel with Elmer]  Anything! Swords. Pistols. I don't care. I'll kill him anyway.

  McCracken : What's the difference? Swords, pi...

  Elmer : Satisfy both sides. Let him have a sword and I'll use a pistol.

• Albine : What were you two fellas quarreling about?

  McCracken : Aw, he makes a crack about my schnozzle. I don't mind a good clean dirty dig. I can take it! I can take it! But, no mug is gonna call me an anteater!

• Tony Lagorce : [storming out]  I'm finished! I'm through!

  McCracken : You're NUTS!

• Tony Lagorce : [storming out again]  I'm finished! I'm through!

  McCracken : You said that yesterday!

• McCracken : Got a leak in the bathroom.

  Elmer : [groaning]  Oh bathrooms, ALWAYS bathrooms, I can see them in my sleep.

• Elmer : Do you know anything about firearms?

  McCracken : Sure. I was shot three times in the Argonne.

  Elmer : Well, look, I gotta invention. Its my own invention, you see. Its a spot shot pistol. You squeeze the handle and it throws a spot out so you can see where you're shootin' at night.

  McCracken : Gee, that's miraculous. Miraculous!

  Elmer : I'm gonna demonstrate it if I can to General Bouschay and maybe the French Army will adopt it.

  McCracken : Marvelous! Say, it'll be the makin's of ya. It'll be the greatest invention since Einstein discovered them relatives.

• McCracken : Say, I got an invention?

  Elmer : What is it?

  McCracken : Puttin' zippers on bananas!

• McCracken : That's her! That's Albine. What a Mama! Haaaa! And does she palpitate for me!

• McCracken : [to Elmer]  Listen, pal, I know how to handle the female of my species. Dominate 'em! And listen, I got a voice in things around here. I got a voice in things.

  [Albine Enters] 

  McCracken : Honey...

  Albine : Don't you honey me!

  Elmer : You lost your voice.

• McCracken : Glad to meet you boys. Glad to meet you. This is Mr. Elmer Turtle.

  Elmer : Tuttle.

• Elmer : She likes that Tony La...

  McCracken : Lagorce? Say, he's no bargain. That guy has done more chiselin' than Rodin.

  Elmer : Who's Rodin?

  McCracken : The chiseler!

• Elmer : They wouldn't let me in without a full dress suit.

  McCracken : There you are, class distinction! Why you'd think we were a couple of French peasants tillin' the soil. Don't I always stand at attention when they play "The Mayonnaise"?

• McCracken : Say, its faces like yours that makes parents quit tryin'!

• McCracken : That guy's done more chiselin' than Rodin.

  Elmer : Who's Rodin?

  McCracken : The chiseler.

  Elmer : Oh.