The Purchase Price (1932)

Mae Busch: Queenie - Girl on Train

Quotes 

• [Four ladies, including our heroine, Joan, are headed west on a train. Three of them are comparing notes on their mail-order husbands while snacking. Joan is not participating] 

  Queenie, Girl on Train : [Looking at a picture]  Oh, yours has got bushy eyebrows; he'll tickle ya every time he kisses ya.

  Woman on Train #2 : [Talking with her mouth full]  I don't care

  [giggles] 

  Woman on Train #2 : as long as he kisses me.

  [the three of them laugh riotously, while Joan looks annoyed] 

  Queenie, Girl on Train : [Leaning forward, holding a banana up to her mouth]  You know what they say about men with bushy eyebrows and a long nose?

  Woman on Train #2 : [Pushes Queenie back, and forcing the banana halfway down her throat]  Aw, Queenie, I can tell you've been married before!

  [the three women cackle and continue eating, while Joan tries to ignore them] 

  Woman on Train #3 : Mine's got a Buick, and a Ford, and an Indian squaw to do heavy work.

  Queenie, Girl on Train : Aw, that ain't nuthin'. Mine's got a radio and a bathroom with runnin' water. I think it's in the picture he sent me.

  Woman on Train #2 : Did he send a picture of himself *in* the bath?

  [the three of them crack up again. Joan rolls her eyes] 

  Queenie, Girl on Train : [to Joan]  Say, has yours got plumbin'? Or is it one of them farmhouses, ya know, with a telephone booth in the back yard?

  Joan Gordon, aka Francine La Rue : I don't know.

  Woman on Train #3 : She don't know? Can ya tie that?

  Queenie, Girl on Train : Oh well, she won't be so almighty calm when it's forty below zero and she has to get up in the middle of the night.

  [She waves the stub of her banana triumphantly as the other two laugh]