The Good Fairy (1935)

Frank Morgan: Konrad

Photos 

Quotes 

• Konrad : When I'm full of Dutch courage, I behave very Frenchly.

• Dr. Metz : What's your name again, my little peach blossom?

  Konrad : Yes, but she's not your little peach blossom.

  Luisa : I can't tell you that.

  Dr. Metz : Oh, incognito?

  Luisa : Oh, no, that's not it. You'll never guess it.

  Dr. Metz : [laughing]  Very sharp! She reminds me of myself.

• Konrad : I can use one honest lawyer, but don't overdo it.

• Konrad : How's the lobster soup?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : Terrible, sir.

  Konrad : What?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : If there's one thing our chef can't make, it's lobster soup.

  Konrad : Well, how's the filet of sole?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : Filet of sole, sir?

  Konrad : Yes, yes!

  Detlaff, the Waiter : Vile, sir.

  Konrad : Vile?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : I couldn't' recommend it. We're so far from the channel, you know sir, it has to be packed in ice. I suspect that the ice gave out about half way, sir.

  Konrad : You don't mean?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : Uhm...

  [Gestures holding his nose] 

  Konrad : It's terrible?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : Unfortunately, sir.

  Konrad : Well, is there anything the matter with the... lamb?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : Very leathery, sir.

  Konrad : What is leathery? How can lamb be leathery?

  Detlaff, the Waiter : I suspect it's goat, sir.

  Konrad : Goat! This is ridiculous!

• Konrad : What does he do?

  Luisa : Oh, my husband?

  Konrad : Oh, well we're right back where we started. Certainly, your husband. What does he do?

  Luisa : I never asked him.

  Konrad : Oh, you never asked him. What does he do? I never asked him. When I say what does he do, I mean is he a butcher, a horse doctor, a dentist, or an undertaker, or what?

  Luisa : What would you like him to be?

  Konrad : What would I like him to be? Uh, whatever I'd like him to be, I mean, he would just be?

  Luisa : He's very willing.

  Konrad : Yes, well that always sounds bad. I suppose he'd be a deep-sea diver or something. That would give me a lot of trouble. Why couldn't you have married a lawyer or something?

  Luisa : A lawyer? He is a lawyer.

  Konrad : Well why didn't you say that in the first place?

  Luisa : I was afraid maybe you didn't need one.

  Konrad : What's his name?

  Luisa : Oh, do you have to know his name?

• Konrad : Yes, certainly, his name.

  Luisa : Do you have to know his name?

  Konrad : Do I have to know his name? Luisa, really, sometimes, after all, you're a lit... -- do I have to know is name?

  Luisa : Oh, heh, his name.

  Konrad : Yes, certainly, his name. After all, it isn't as if I

  [They are interrupted when a tipsy Dr. Metz bursts into room, followed by Detlaff] 

• Konrad : [after Detlaff leaves the private dining room]  Did you notice that fellow's eyes? They're like angry marbles.

  Luisa : No, I didn't notice.

  Konrad : I think he's crazy. Bar none! Free for all! Any style! This is the worst hotel in the whole world.

• Luisa : Are you a minister too?

  Konrad : Well, no, not exactly, although people often take me for one. I'm, I'm in the meat business.

  Luisa : Oh.

  Konrad : Uh, strictly wholesale, of course.

  Luisa : Eh, heh, you don't look like a butcher.

  Konrad : A butcher? Who me? I, wh.., I, I'm in, uh importer and exporter.

  Luisa : But of meat?

  Konrad : Well, why not? Uh, heh, heh, are you a vegetarian or something?

  Luisa : Oh, no, no, I, uh, meat is very nice.

  Konrad : Heh, you darn tootin' it is.

• Detlaff, the Waiter : Little by little it will come to you.

  Konrad : Oh, shut up!

• Luisa : Besides, you can't.

  Konrad : Don't use that word. It irritates me. All my plans are fool proof.

  Luisa : Oh, please don't let me cry.

  Konrad : Well, why do you wanna cry when you can do a good deed for somebody?

• Luisa : Is this the story of the Enchanted Woods?

  Konrad : Oh, no, no - the enchanted bankroll.

• Konrad : Well, I'll see him in the morning, and I'll make him... I, I, I, I'll do anything for you. I'll make him General European Legal Representative.

  Luisa : Ohhh! What does it mean?

  Konrad : Well, it doesn't mean anything, but I'll make him something. Now, what's his name?

  Luisa : Oh, his name?

• Konrad : [to Detlaff]  What are you doing here? What is this, a waiter's waiting room or something?

• Dr. Sporum : You are the good fairy. You flew into my life and changed everything.

  Luisa : No, you're the good fairy who changed my life.

  Detlaff, the Waiter : No, no, no! As a matter of fact, I'm entirely responsible.

  Konrad : If you say it was you, I'll punch you right in the eye. If there's any good fairy around here, it's me.

• Dr. Sporum : I'm not a child, you know.

  Konrad : No. Nobody could mistake you for one.

• Konrad : [after Max mentions a specific court case]  I always wanted to congratulate you on winning it.

  Dr. Sporum : But I lost it.

  Konrad : Oh, you, uh, uh, of course, that's it... . but so cleverly. So very cleverly, doctor. Sometimes it's better to lose a case cleverly than to win it stupidly. That's what we admired.