A Day at the Races (1937)
Chico Marx: Tony
Photos
Quotes
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[Tony offers Dr. Hackenbush a hint book]
Tony : One dollar and you'll remember me all your life.
Dr. Hackenbush : That's the most nauseating proposition I ever had.
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Flo : Oh, what is the meaning of this? Oh, why you little pest. Well!
Dr. Hackenbush : Say, what's the matter with you mugs?. Haven't you got any gallantry at all?
Tony : She's in with Whitmore. She's trying to frame you.
Dr. Hackenbush : I wouldn't mind framing her. A prettier picture, I've never seen.
Flo : Thank you.
Dr. Hackenbush : Thank yo.
Tony : Hey Doc! Doc, I'm tell you a secret - she's out to get you.
Flo : Why, I've never been so insulted in my life.
Dr. Hackenbush : Well, it's early yet.
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[Talking about Stuffy]
Tony : I think he's a ubangi.
Dr. Hackenbush : Well, I'll get a hammer and "ubangi" that right off.
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Tony : Getta your tootsie-frootsie ice cream!
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Tony : Hey doc, can you see us?
Dr. Hackenbush : If I can't there's something wrong with my glasses.
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[Stuffy blows a balloon during a medical exam]
Dr. Hackenbush : If that's his Adam's-apple, he's got yellow fever.
Tony : He's got in-grown balloons.
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Tony : Have you got a woman in here?
Dr. Hackenbush : If I haven't, I've wasted 30 minutes of valuable time!
Tony : Well, you better get her out of here! This is the last time I'm going to tell you.
Dr. Hackenbush : The last time? Can I depend on that?
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Tony : Well, that's-a fine. Now we owe the Sheriff a hundred and twenty dollars and a sock.
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Dr. Hackenbush : [examining Stuffy with an auriscope] I haven't seen anything like this in years. The last time I saw a head like that was in a bottle of formaldehyde.
Tony : Told you he was sick.
Dr. Hackenbush : [pointing to Stuffy's neck] That's all pure desecration along there. He's got about a 15% metabolism, with an overactive thyroid and a glandular affectation of about 3%.
Tony : That's bad.
Dr. Hackenbush : With a 1% mentality.
[Stuffy grins]
Dr. Hackenbush : He's what we designate as the crummy moronic type. All in all, this is the most gruesome looking piece of blubber I've ever peered at.
Tony : Hey doc. Hey doc!
Dr. Hackenbush : Huh?
Tony : You gotta the looking glass turned around, you're looking at yourself.
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Dr. Hackenbush : Here's a ten-dollar bill and shoot the change, will you?
Tony : I got-a no change. I'll have to give you nine more books.
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[Stuffy is getting an examination]
Dr. Hackenbush : Say "ah!"
[Stuffy opens his mouth, but says nothing]
Dr. Hackenbush : Louder!
[Stuffy does the same thing]
Dr. Hackenbush : Louder!
[Stuffy does the same thing. Dr. Hackenbush starts to leave]
Tony : What are you doing?
Dr. Hackenbush : I'm going to get my ears checked. I'm deaf.
Tony : You're not deaf. It's just him.
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[referring to Ms. Marlowe]
Dr. Hackenbush : You've got it all wrong. This is my aunt. She's come to talk over some old family matters.
Tony : I wish I had an aunt look like that.
Dr. Hackenbush : Well, take it up with your uncle.
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[Tony is selling Hackenbush one book after another at the race track]
Tony : Well, justa by accident I think I gotta one right here.
Dr. Hackenbush : A lotta accidents around here for a quiet neighborhood.
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Whitmore : [In walk Tony and Stuffy, disguised as Doctors] Dr. Hackenbush, tell me, who sent for these men?
Dr. Hackenbush : You don't have to send for them. You just rub a lamp and they appear.
Tony : My name is Steinberg.
[Goes to shake Dr. Steinberg's hand]
Dr. Hackenbush : Dr. Steinberg, by a strange coincidence, this is another Dr. Steinberg. May I take my great friend and introduce my colleagues and good friends, another Dr. Steinberg. This is a Dr. Steinberg, Dr. Steinberg. Dr. Steinberg. And a Mrs. Steinberg. And Doctor, I'd like you to meet another Dr. Steinberg. And, eh, that's a, that's a Steinberg junior.
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Tony : [disgused as an ice cream vendor] You wanna something hot?
Dr. Hackenbush : Not now, I just ate. Besides I don't like hot ice cream.
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Tony : We come to hang the paper.
Dr. Hackenbush : How about hanging yourselves?
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Tony : Hey, boss! C'mere! Sun-Up is the worst horse on the track!
Dr. Hackenbush : I notice he wins all the time.
Tony : Aw, just because he comes in first.
Dr. Hackenbush : Well, I don't want 'em any better than first.
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Tony : Excuse, please. We're sure getting a lot of new customers since that Doctor Hac-ken-a-pus is coming.
Mrs. Upjohn : Did you say Hackenbush?
Tony : Yes, ma'am.
Mrs. Upjohn : I wonder if that could be the same one! Where's he come from?
Tony : Where's your Hac-ken-a-pus come from?
Mrs. Upjohn : Palmville, Florida.
Tony : That's the one!
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Tony : [Talking to Stuffy] You're hungry, eh? You want-a some ice cream? You want-a nice big steak? With spinach? All right, all right, no spinach. No spinach. Apple-a pie? And a-beautiful nurses? Oh, baby, come on you a-gonna get a nurse. Oh my, you gonna get-a plenty to eat.
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Tony : Ah, signorina, gentile, e bella. Oh, baby, you look-a good to me.
Flo : Oh, oh-oh, stop it.
Dr. Hackenbush : Hey, wait a minute. I thought you came here to see me?
Tony : Well, I can see you from here.
Flo : Oh, oh, get up, you... oh, oh...