On Again-Off Again (1937)
Bert Wheeler: William Hobbs
Photos
Quotes
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William Hobbs : C'mon, drink your milk. It'll make your hair curly.
Claude Horton : I hate curly hair. I don't even like rosy cheeks!
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William Hobbs : The servants have all quit.
Claude Horton : You're crazy!
William Hobbs : There they go, takin' the bus...They said they wouldn't work for a stupid-lookin' egg like you.
Claude Horton : And you let 'em call me a stupid-looking egg?
William Hobbs : Well, there is a resemblance, sir.
Claude Horton : That'll cost you one hundred dollars.
William Hobbs : You better make it two hundred.
Claude Horton : Two hundred?
William Hobbs : I told them what I thought you looked like.
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William Hobbs : I can't have Florence see me like this!
Claude Horton : Still thinkin' about Florence? I thought my wife was your big interest.
William Hobbs : Your wife?...why that frowsy-lookin' frump!
Claude Horton : Frowsy-lookin' frump, eh? That'll cost you ninety dollars.
William Hobbs : 90?
Claude Horton : I'm knocking off 10 percent because I agree with you!
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William Hobbs : I'm just beginning to realize what a racket this butlering is. Why don't you become a butler? The rest'll do you good.
Claude Horton : Hobbs, as your master, I insist that you be miserable!
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[Horton slaps butler Hobbs in the face]
William Hobbs : What's that for?
Claude Horton : That's for calling me a mongoose.
William Hobbs : I called you that weeks ago!
Claude Horton : Well, I just saw a picture of one in a book...besides, I'm too tall for a mongoose!
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William Hobbs : How much would you charge me to call you a half-witted horse's neck?
Claude Horton : A half-witted horse's neck? Now let me see...that'll cost you a hundred.
William Hobbs : Make it $75!
Claude Horton : What do you think this is...a cut-rate drugstore? One hundred!
William Hobbs : One hundred for a little thing like that? Why you cheap, chiseling crook!
Claude Horton : That's the hundred.
