Kate & Leopold (2001)

Breckin Meyer: Charlie McKay

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie : Don't you think it's time you told me who you are. I mean, don't get me wrong, doing the Duke thing with you 24/7 is a blast, but really. Who are you?

  Leopold : [after a pause, simply]  I'm the man that loves your sister.

• Charlie : [about the dishwasher]  And you push this button. Word to the wise: don't press that till she wakes up, so she sees you doing it.

  Leopold : How clever. The proverbial tree in the woods.

  Charlie : If a man washes a dish, and no one sees it...

  Charlie , Leopold : - did it happen?

  Charlie : Right.

• [Leopold and Charlie leave the club. Charlie is fuming because Leopold has enthralled Patrice, Charlie's love interest] 

  Charlie : And I would have gotten her number if you hadn't turned the evening into a guided tour of the Louvre!

  Leopold : My apologies.

  Charlie : Let's get one thing straight. Patrice, she thought you were cute - probably gay, and cute - and cute, Leo, that's just the kiss of death.

  Leopold : Perhaps.

  Charlie : Perhaps? Certainly!

  Leopold : [produces a napkin]  I believe this is her number.

  [Charlie takes it from him in disbelief] 

  Leopold : As I see it, Patrice has not an inkling of your affections, and it's no wonder. You, Charles, are a merry-andrew.

  Charlie : A what?

  Leopold : Everything plays a farce to you. Women respond to sincerity. No-one wants to be romanced by a buffoon. Now, that number rings her.

  Charlie : Yes?

  Leopold : So ring her tomorrow.

  Charlie : I can't. She gave the number to you.

  Leopold : Only because I told her of your affections.

  Charlie : [taken aback]  Wha - what did you say?

  Leopold : Merely that you admired her, but you were hesitant to make an overture, as you'd been told she was courting another.

  Charlie : Shit... that's good! Well, what did she say?

  Leopold : She handed me the napkin.

  [Charlie rushes under a lit store window to read the napkin, and starts dialing his cell phone] 

  Leopold : Charles, it's quite late.

  Charlie : No, no, she won't be home yet. I get her machine and leave a message, ball's in her court.

  Leopold : You're ladling calculation upon comedy. The point is, to keep the ball in *your* court.

  Charlie : [slaps his phone shut]  You're right! You're right!

• Charlie : We have a saying in the McKay house: "You shake and shake the ketchup bottle, none will come, and then a lot'll."

• Charlie : You want to vex my sister!

• Charlie : [Charlie, obviously drunk, is entertaining his friends with stories from acting camp]  Ok, she comes back, the audience is about to leave, she comes back on stage and she starts squirting everybody with this turkey baster with this fime mist and she's screaming "Un-sex me! Un-sex me!"; it's just raw, human passion...

  Dennis : Isn't, uh, Willem Dafoe a part of that group?

  Charlie : Yeah, and he did this monologue about how the best things in life are hidden in people's basements...

  Leopold : Like the Louvre?

  [everybody pauses and looks at Leo] 

  Leopold : I'm sorry, you were saying, Charles?

  Patrice : What about the Louvre?

  Monica : Yeah, tell us what you were going to say.

  Leopold : Well, only a fraction of the Louvre is on the walls. The rest is in the basement.

  Patrice : You've been in the basement of the Louvre?

  Leopold : Oh, yes!

  Patrice : I was a art history major at Vassar!

  Leopold : Ahhhh...

• Charlie : Victorian dude, who has never seen a Met's game, watching TV. Scene: "I say, are those little people in that box of phosphors. Crikey, I believe it is. This game is more beguiling than cricket"