The Jack Benny Program (1950–1965)

Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson: Rochester Van Jones, Anderson Van Jones, Jeeves, Oatmeal, Trenton

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack : When they laugh at one of my jokes... it just gets me right here.

  [Puts hand on heart] 

  Rochester : Yes, that's the spot all right. You almost had a heart attack when they laughed at Bob Hope.

• Jack : What do you think of this card I wrote for Don? "To Don from Jacky, Oh golly, oh shucks. I hope that you like it, It cost forty bucks.

  Rochester : It would've been hard to rhyme a dollar ninety-eight.

• Jack Benny : Where's that big glass star I told you to pack away last Christmas?

  Rochester : You mean that shiny one with the three points on it?

  Jack Benny : That star has five points.

  Rochester : Well, it went down two points this last year.

• [Jack picks up a jar from the dresser] 

  Jack : Hey, wait a minute. What kind of make up is this?

  Rochester : Well, you said you wanted something to make you look nice and tanned.

  Jack : I know, but peanut butter?

  [Audience laugh] 

  Jack : I want to look tanned, not lumpy.

• [Jack decides to have a shave] 

  Rochester : [checking his equipment]  Shaving cream, brush, razor, smelling salts.

  Jack : Smell?... What do I want with smelling salts?

  Rochester : That's for me. I can't stand the sight of blood.

• [Rochester has started shaving Jack] 

  Rochester : Oh oh.

  Jack : What's the matter?

  Rochester : I think I cut you.

  Jack : What do you mean, you think? Can't you tell?

  Rochester : It would help if you bleed a little.

• Don Wilson : Rochester, you sing, don't you?

  Rochester : Anything but Soprano.