The Trouble with Harry (1955)

Edmund Gwenn: Capt. Albert Wiles

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Capt. Wiles : [after Dr. Greenbow trips over the body]  Couldn't have had more people here if I'd sold tickets.

• Capt. Wiles : Coming home from Madagascar once we had a fireman on board who hit his head on a brick wall and died two days later.

  Sam Marlowe : Where did he find a brick wall on board a ship?

  Capt. Wiles : Mmmm... that's what we always wondered.

• [the Captain and Miss Graveley have afternoon tea together] 

  Capt. Wiles : A real handsome man's cup.

  Miss Graveley : It's been in the family for years. My father always used it... until he died.

  Capt. Wiles : I trust he died peacefully. Slipped away in the night?

  Miss Graveley : He was caught in a threshing machine.

• Capt. Wiles : Blessed are they who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.

• Jennifer Rogers : I've never been to a home-made funeral before.

  Capt. Wiles : I have... it's my third. All in one day...

• Sam Marlowe : I think, Captain Wiles, we're tangled up in a murder.

  Capt. Wiles : Murder. If it's murder who dunnit?

  Sam Marlowe : Who did it?

  Capt. Wiles : That's what I say, whodunnit?

• Capt. Wiles : Marriage is a good way to spend the winter.

• Capt. Wiles : I fired three bullets. Three! One for the hunting sign, one for the tin can...

  Sam Marlowe : ...and one for the little man who's lying in the grave.

• Sam Marlowe : Let's get Harry and pop him in.

  Capt. Wiles : With hasty reverence.

• Miss Graveley : [Arnie puts a dead rabbit on the table while the Captain and Miss Graveley are having tea]  What do you call him?

  Arnie : Dead.

  Capt. Wiles : Where did you get him?

  Arnie : I found him.

  Miss Graveley : Where did you find him?

  Arnie : [Looking at the tea table]  In the blueberry muffins.

• Miss Graveley : What seems to be the trouble, Captain?

  Capt. Wiles : Well, it's what you might call an unavoidable accident. He's dead.

  Miss Graveley : Yes. I would say that he was. Of course, that's an unprofessional opinion.

• Capt. Wiles : Do you know him, Miss Gravely?

  Miss Graveley : No. Doesn't live around here.

  Capt. Wiles : Well, he died around here. That's what counts now.

• Capt. Wiles : She was downright hysterical with delight.

  Sam Marlowe : What was she like?

  Capt. Wiles : Pretty as a rainbow. Wish I was two years younger.

• Capt. Wiles : [as he sees Sam Marlowe coming]  Next thing you know they'll be televising the whole thing.

• Capt. Wiles : [about Miss Gravely]  She's a well-preserved woman.

  Sam Marlowe : I envy you.

  Capt. Wiles : Yes, very well preserved. And preserves have to be opened, some day.

• Capt. Wiles : What in Hades were you doing here anyway? I can't say that I've seen you around here before. No. If you're going to get yourself shot, do it where you're known!

• Capt. Wiles : First thing I seen when I rolled out this morning was a double-breasted robin, drunk as a hoot owl from eating fermented chokecherries. Right away I knew somebody was in trouble. What I didn't know was - that it was me.

• Capt. Wiles : What are you thinking, Sammy?

  Sam Marlowe : I think, Captain Wiles, we're tangled up in a murder.

  Capt. Wiles : Murder? If it's murder, who done it?

  Sam Marlowe : Who "did" it?

  Capt. Wiles : That's what I say, who done it?

• [last lines] 

  Miss Graveley : What was it?

  Capt. Wiles : A double bed.

• Sam Marlowe : Stands to reason they can't touch you for it.

  Capt. Wiles : Nothing these days stands to reason.

• Capt. Wiles : I don't want to talk about your affairs. I've got affairs of my own.

  Sam Marlowe : You mean my protégée?

  Capt. Wiles : Come again?

  Sam Marlowe : Miss Gravely. The lady that I renovated down at Mrs. Wiggs' this afternoon. A most remarkable reversion to femininity.

• Miss Graveley : He very definitely pulled me into the bushes.

  Capt. Wiles : Yes?

  Miss Graveley : I came out again.

  Capt. Wiles : Go on.

  Miss Graveley : He pulled me back.

  Capt. Wiles : Twice.

• Capt. Wiles : Fewer things in life give a man more pleasure than hunting. It satisfies his primitive nature, striding through the woods, picking up his kill.

• Miss Graveley : I'm certainly glad if I helped you, Captain. Perhaps you would care to come over for some blueberry muffins and coffee later on. High-bush blueberries!

  Capt. Wiles : Oh, this is certainly something of an interesting surprise.

  Miss Graveley : And perhaps a touch of elderberry wine. After all, we've been neighbors for nearly three years now and we've never exchanged social calls.

• Sam Marlowe : Your conscience is quite clear. You got nothing to worry about.

  Capt. Wiles : Sammy, I haven't got a conscience and it's not heaven that's worrying me 'cause I don't expect I'll ever have to face it. And it's none of those noble things you were talking about, no. Nothing like that.

  Sam Marlowe : Then what is it?

  Capt. Wiles : It's me. It's me that's worrying me. Me and my future life.

• Capt. Wiles : There's nothing like finding yourself in love. No, it adds zest to your work. Zest. Zest.

  Sam Marlowe : I think I've had enough zest for a while. Let's sit down and rest, huh?

• Capt. Wiles : She's a very nice lady, Sam. Very nice.

  Sam Marlowe : We're all nice! I don't see how anyone could help but like us.