- Lt. Ross Pendleton: [describing the running of the grunion] During this time of the year the slippery little creatures come up on the beach, stop, spawn, then go out to sea again.
- Lt. Alice Tomlen: Sounds like some naval officers I know.
- Ens. Tyson: You know, she knows darn well that little piece of black lace is showin' up above her shirt.
- Lt. Ross Pendleton: You know what she is? A sadist. I know these black underwear kind of women.
- Gordon Ripwell: You're taking good care of me, kid! Went to Harvard, didn't you, Junior?
- Ens. Tyson: Princeton.
- Gordon Ripwell: Six of one, half a dozen of the other! They're both pantywaist factories. I never go within spittin' distance of a college myself.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: [sotto voce] I sensed that.
- Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash: Correspondence Liaison Officer, any report on Admiral Boatwright?
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Yes, sir. He refused to grant the 'Time' and 'Newsweek' interviews.
- Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash: The admiral's one of those old-fashioned naval types who seems to believe that the Navy is merely a collection of ships.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Remarkable attitude.
- Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash: Isn't it! What did he say, exactly?
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Well, he said that the, uh, Public Relations outfit was a, uh, collection of oddballs and freaks.
- Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash: Doesn't he realize our importance? The invaluable contribution that we're making?
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Well, I'm afraid not, sir. As a matter of fact he suggested we load all the correspondents and public relations oddballs on one ship and steer that one ship right into the middle of Tokyo Bay. 'Cause he figures this would drive the enemy nuts and get the war over one year earlier.
- Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash: Very funny.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Well, I thought it was kinda' funny, sir.
- Lt. Alice Tomlen: Good evening, lieutenant.
- Lt. Ross Pendleton: Hey, you look ravishing! What's that perfume?
- Janie: [butting in] Carbolic acid. She just scrubbed the operating room.
- Lt. Alice Tomlen: [chuckles] Janie's incurably romantic.
- Adm. Junius Boatwright: Oddballs and freaks, that's what they are. The whole blasted public relations.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: What's ol' Marblehead doing in there? Thinking big or playing with his sextant?
- Mr. Alba - Melora's Father: Speaking of Radcliffe and Wellesley, from the looks of some of the young ladies there, I wasn't quite sure whether it was coeducation or not. I had the strange feeling that one of the purposes of the Eastern colleges of the United States was to change American women to men!
- Adm. Junius Boatwright: Do you know how many men there are on a heavy cruiser?
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: 1,712, sir.
- Adm. Junius Boatwright: Yeah. And do you realize how long this ship has been in the Pacific?
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: 31 months and 13 days, sir.
- Adm. Junius Boatwright: And do you have any notion what the sight of a woman, any woman, but, especially that woman, can do to men who haven't even seen a woman in all that time?
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Yes, sir!
- Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash: All right, sailors, let's up anchor and get under way. Everything shipshape in your department, Pendleton?
- Lt. Ross Pendleton: Well, frankly, Commander, I've run across a slight snag. Nothing, of course, that I can't lick.
- Lt. Cmdr. Clinton T. Nash: Nothing that we in this department can't lick!
- Lt. Ross Pendleton: You have no idea the variance in loins.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Well, live and loin, man.
- Adam Garrett: It's about Lt. Alice Tomlen, sir. I just don't think I can take it anymore.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Take what?
- Adam Garrett: Just bein' around her, sir. The smell of her perfume, watching her put on lipstick, the way she smiles, the way she - crosses her legs.
- Gordon Ripwell: Say, you get around this island quite a lot, don't you, Siegel.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: Enough.
- Gordon Ripwell: When you're jungle hopping around, why don't you line me up one of these Tuluran belles, you know, not too old or too fat.
- Lt. J.G. Max Siegel: I'm sorry. Procuring supplies comes under the head of another department.
- Adm. Junius Boatwright: Quite impossible.
- Deborah Aldrich: Why?
- Adm. Junius Boatwright: Well, you see Miss, there are no arrangements on ship for carrying ladies. There are no separate facilities, so to speak.
- Deborah Aldrich: Well, then I just have to take pot luck.
- Deborah Aldrich: I have a few little things to rinse out. Oh, pardon me, are there some soap flakes on board, Admiral?
- Adm. Junius Boatwright: Where have you been?
- Deborah Aldrich: To the war, Sweetie! Now, I need a nice hot bath. Excuse me.