- Major Gruver: [at a traditional tea ceremony: watching, as a Japanese man spends a lot of time carefully making a cup of tea] He makes such a production of everything.
- Hana-ogi: The pleasure does not lie in the end itself... it's the pleasurable steps *to* that end.
- Major Gruver: You know what I saw yesterday? I saw two rocks that just got married.
- Captain Bailey: [slightly confused] You what?
- Major Gruver: I saw two rocks that got married. And they looked very happy together, too.
- Captain Bailey: Oh, I'll bet they did.
- Major Gruver: Are you gonna sit there with your bare face hangin' out and tell me you never heard of Tanabata?
- Nakamura: What are you really afraid of, Miss Webster? You don't think it would enter Major Gruver's mind to marry a Japanese girl?
- Eileen Webster: I don't know.
- Nakamura: Then permit me to reassure you. I think Major Gruver is brave, but, uh, not so brave enough to face the censure that would result from such a marriage. As for our famous, honored Hana-ogi, there are many Japanese - most of them, in fact - who look upon marriage to an Occidental with as much distaste as your people do to one of us.
- Nakamura: [continues] I do not feel that way, but then I have had the privilege of traveling in your country and knowing some great people there. And I am especially conscious at this moment that beauty is not confined to any one race.
- Hana-ogi: [watching a traditional Japanese puppet performance about two doomed lovers] It is custom for lovers to die together when they can no longer face life.
- Katsumi: [dreamily] It is so beautiful...
- Joe Kelly: "Beautiful"? They're gonna' die, aren't they?
- Katsumi: [dreamily] They will live in another world, on a beautiful lake, floating always together, like water lily.
- Joe Kelly: [makes a face] Sure.
- Joe Kelly: [Major Gruver is entering Joe Kelly's Japanese home for the first time] Hey, off with the shoes. You don't wear shoes in a Japanese house.
- Major Gruver: Okay, comin' off... What about the pants?
- Hana-ogi: [pointing to some large rocks right off the seashore] You see the rope between the rocks?
- Major Gruver: Yeah?
- Hana-ogi: That is a Shinto sign, showing they are married.
- Major Gruver: [slightly confused] What, the rocks?
- Hana-ogi: Yes... they've been together so long, our people thought it was time they should get married. They look well together, don't you think?
- Major Gruver: Yeah, they make a handsome little couple!
- Joe Kelly: Boy, she sure does something wicked to a bathing suit.
- Major Gruver: She has an enormous capacity to fulfill a bathing suit.
- Joe Kelly: l can see that.
- Major Gruver: l'm gonna show you a picture of a girl. lt happens to be my girl, but she's American. And l want you to take a long, long look at her, because l believe that maybe you've forgot what an American girl looks like. And this girl l'm going to show to you, is first of all an American girl, a girl with fine character, a girl with good background, good education, good family, good blood.
- Doctor: Wouldn't you like to tango with one of those beautiful Japanese dolls?
- Major Gruver: Well, if it's your prescription, Doc, then l'll certainly work at it the best l can.
- Eileen Webster: l'm sorry. l guess l've been thinking too much.
- Major Gruver: Yeah, l think you have been thinking too much.
- Major Gruver: That dress, l think it's terrible. lt just goes in and out and - that's awful.
- Eileen Webster: lt's meant to go in and out. l go in and out.
- Major Gruver: Well, we'll talk about that later.
- Eileen Webster: Oh, Lloyd, it's me you've got to love. Oh, Lloyd, haven't you ever felt like - like - like grabbing me and - and hauling me off to a shack somewhere?
- Major Gruver: Kabuki - isn't that the place where there are no dames and the men play all the women's parts?
- Mrs. Webster: Oh, that's right. The way they do at Princeton.
- Major Gruver: Oh, Kelly, you stupid ignorant slob! l mean, go ahead and marry this slant-eyed runt if you want to. lt'll serve you right.
- Nakamura: You - did not enjoy the evening so much, l fear, Maj. Gruver.
- Major Gruver: Oh, yeah, l thought it was a fine play. l thought maybe you could use a Marilyn Monroe here and there, you know.
- Nakamura: Unfortunately, Miss Monroes were barred from Kabuki in the 17th century.
- Major Gruver: Well, l didn't mean to sound corny. l just didn't know what to say about it.
- Nakamura: Oh, please, do not apologize. l am great admirer of Miss Monroe - myself.
- Major Gruver: Well, that's two of us. That's you and me, boy
- Eileen Webster: He's a male actress. lt says here they've been trained since childhood to have the grace of a woman, and yet the power of a man.
- Major Gruver: Oh, my word.