Billy Liar (1963)
Tom Courtenay: Billy Fisher
Photos
Quotes
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Billy Fisher : [voice over] Today's a day of big decisions - going to start writing me novel - two thousand words every day, going to start getting up in the morning.
Billy Fisher : [continued voice over as he looks at his overgrown thumb nail] I'll cut that for a start. Yes... today's a day of big decisions.
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Billy Fisher : [wearing a monocle and speaking in a posh voice] Cabinet change imminent I see.
Geoffrey Fisher : You'll be bloody imminent if you don't start getting up in the morning.
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Billy Fisher : [to Liz] I have a sort of... well, it's an imaginary country where I go. I'm supposed to be the prime minister and you're the foreign secretary. It will be a big room, and when we go in it through the door, that's it. That's our country. Nobody else will be allowed in at all.
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Billy Fisher : [voice over in his daydream] It was a big for us, we had won the war in Ambrosia. Democracy was back once more in our beloved country.
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Emanuel Shadrack : So that's your ambition, is it? Scriptwriting?
Billy Fisher : Oh, yes, it always has been.
Emanuel Shadrack : Do you get a salary each week then, or do you get paid by the joke?
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Rita : [after Billy reopens the door] You rotten. lying, crossed-eyed git. You're nothing else.
Billy Fisher : [clearly not wanting her to come inside] Hello, Rita. Sorry, I can't ask you in. We're havin' our chimney swept.
Rita : They'll be havin' you swept before I finish.
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Geoffrey Fisher : You've start coming in at night, I'm not having you gallivanting about all hours!
Billy Fisher : Who are you having gallivanting about, then?
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Arthur Crabtree : Hey, I got those things for you.
Billy Fisher : What? What things?
Arthur Crabtree : Passion pills - what I said I'd get you.
Billy Fisher : Let's have a look. Where'd you get them?
Arthur Crabtree : This mate of mine fetched them from Singapore.
Billy Fisher : I bet they're bloody aspirins.
Arthur Crabtree : What?
Billy Fisher : [swallowing some] Eh, steady on! They'll give yuh the screamin' abdabs. One of these, two two-and-nines at the Regal, bag of chips and you're away!
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Billy Fisher : You want to tell whoever saw me to mind their own fizzing business.
Alice Fisher : It is our business, and don't you be so cheeky.
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Billy Fisher : Boon, Danny Boon, the television comedian. He's in town today opening the new supermarkets. I sent him some of me scripts. He's read 'em. He's read 'em and he likes 'em. Sent me this letter. Look. He's offered me a job in London. Scriptwriting. He likes my material.
Alice Fisher : How do you mean, he likes your material?
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Billy Fisher : Look. Do you want to know or don't you? Because if you want to know, I'll tell you, and if you don't want to know, I'll shut up.
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Billy Fisher : I've got something unpleasant to say to our Mr. Shadrack today.
Arthur Crabtree : You've got something unpleasant to say to our Mr. Shadrack today?
Billy Fisher : Anything I say would be unpleasant.
Arthur Crabtree : Kindly leave the undertakers.
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Rita : Dream about me while I'm gone.
Billy Fisher : Sure thing, baby.
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Arthur Crabtree : Hey. I say, is that that bird?
Billy Fisher : What bird?
Arthur Crabtree : There. Getting a lift in that lorry. That bird that wanted you to go to France with her.
Billy Fisher : Do you mean Liz?
Arthur Crabtree : Yes, where's she been this time, then?
Billy Fisher : I don't know. She goes where she feels like. She's crazy. She just enjoys herself.
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Barbara : Promise me one thing.
Billy Fisher : That I'll never lie to you again? I'll never lie to you again. Never. I promise.
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Alice Fisher : You're idle and scruffy and you have no manners.
Billy Fisher : What are manners?
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Billy Fisher : You know that I've got a fairly vivid imagination, don't you, darling?
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Barbara : Billy! Are you feeling all right?
Billy Fisher : Of course, darling. Why?
Barbara : Well, look where your hand is.
Billy Fisher : [removing his hand from Barbara's thigh] Oh. Don't you want me to touch you?
Barbara : Well, it - seems indecent somehow.
Billy Fisher : You know you're making me ill, don't you?
Barbara : Oh, poor pet. Why am I making you ill?
Billy Fisher : Surely you've heard of, well, of repressions. The nervous reactions of a man who's not...
Barbara : I know what you mean, pet, but we must be patient. We must! I mean, we'd only regret it.
Billy Fisher : Well, just have one more energy tablet.
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Duxbury : I went up to the third floor into the soft furnishings department. Oh, Billy, they've got some lovely materials. I saw some lovely stuff for the curtains. Honestly, pet, you'll love it. It's sort of, um, well, a turquoise, really. And it's got lovely little squiggles, sort of, well, like wine glasses.
Billy Fisher : Oh, yes, very nice, hmm.
Duxbury : The only trouble is, if we get that yellow carpet, it won't match. Still, that's my department, pet.
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Duxbury : Ah, but they're all coming down, all the old buildings. Trams, they've gone. City centre, that's all new.
Billy Fisher : Aye, you could get a glass of beer, meat pie, cigarettes, matches and change out of four pence. Aye.
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Duxbury : What's you got there, then? Crown jewels?
Billy Fisher : No, gramophone records, LPs.
Duxbury : There were nowt like that when I were a lad. No record players. We had to make us own music if we wanted it.
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Rita : Oh, I don't know where I am with you, Billy. We're supposed to be engaged if you did but know it!
Billy Fisher : You said you didn't want to marry me.
Rita : I did not! I said I wasn't going to live in a rotten cottage in rotten Devon.
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Danny Boon : [signing autographs] What's your name, son?
Billy Fisher : I'm Billy Fisher.
Danny Boon : "To Billy". I haven't put "with love". You know, people might get the wrong idea.
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Billy Fisher : It's neither muckling nor mickling, is it?
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Duxbury : Listen, can you take a bit of advice?
Billy Fisher : Yes, sir.
Duxbury : Now, you're a young man. You've got a long way to go; but, you can't do it by yourself. Now, think on.
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Billy Fisher : Where have you been?
Liz : Here and there.
Billy Fisher : Up and down.
Liz : Round and about.
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Billy Fisher : There's been a bit of a mix-up, Rita.
Rita : Yes, there has. You don't handle the goods unless you intend to buy. Ooh, you're rotten!
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Billy Fisher : I think I owe you a word of explanation.
Rita : A word of explanation? Well, just get back in the cheese with the other maggots.
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Liz : Why don't you go to London? I'll come with you.
Billy Fisher : Oh, it'd be marvelous if we could.
Liz : But we can, Billy. We can! What's there to stop us?
Billy Fisher : Well, I mean, there are all sorts of arrangements to make.
Liz : No, there's not. You just buy a ticket. You buy a ticket and get on a train. That's all you have to do.
Billy Fisher : You can't just go.
Liz : Yes, you can! We could go tonight! There's a midnight train. It gets into London at seven o'clock.
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Liz : Sometimes I want to go away. It's not you, Billy. It's this town. It's the people we know. I don't like knowing everybody, becoming a part of things. Don't you know what I mean?
Billy Fisher : Yes, I do, Liz. I do.
Liz : What I'd like to be is invisible. I'd like to be able to move around without having to explain anything.
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Billy Fisher : Liz, do you find life difficult? Oh, I wish it was something you could tear up and start again. You know, like starting a new page in an exercise book.
Liz : It's been done. Turning over a new leaf.
Billy Fisher : I turn over a new leaf every day, but the blots show through.