The Trial (1962)

Billy Kearns: First Assistant Inspector

Photos 

Quotes 

• Inspector A : Where are you going?

  Joseph K. : I take a bath in the morning, if you must know. Why?

  Inspector A : If you're reluctant to dress in front of me...

  Joseph K. : And I dress in the bathroom.

  Inspector A : Oh?

  Joseph K. : Yes.

  Inspector A : Why?

  Joseph K. : Well, it's warm in the bathroom and it's cold in the hall. Any more questions?

  First Assistant Inspector : Why would you want to dress in the hall?

  Inspector A : Stay here.

  First Assistant Inspector : Why would you want to get dressed out in the hall?

  Joseph K. : I don't, I don't. But, if I did not get dressed in the bathroom after I finished my bath, I'd be obliged to walk down the drafty hall in my silk dressing robe right after getting after - out of a warm tub. I hope you understand.

  First Assistant Inspector : You said you wanted to get dressed in the hall.

  Joseph K. : No, no, no, no, no.

  First Assistant Inspector : Didn't you?

  Joseph K. : No.

  First Assistant Inspector : Well, have it your way, mister. What do you want to get all dressed up for anyway? You're not going nowhere. You're under arrest.

• Joseph K. : I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid you won't find any subversive literature or pornography. Don't touch those record albums!

  First Assistant Inspector : What's this thing?

  Joseph K. : That's my pornograph - my phonograph.

• First Assistant Inspector : You've got a lot of real nice shirts.

  Joseph K. : You leave those shirts alone!

  Second Assistant Inspector : Know something? You'd do a whole lot better to give them things to us. After they're impounded officially, and carted off to headquarters, you won't know what happens to them shirts.

  First Assistant Inspector : There's every kind of crookedness and bribery in them public auctions.

  Second Assistant Inspector : Now, we're your friends.

  First Assistant Inspector : Sure, we are. You ought to give us some of them shirts at least.

• Joseph K. : How can I go to the office if I'm under arrest?

  First Assistant Inspector : That don't need to keep you from working. Not at this stage.

  Joseph K. : He - he said I'd stay in my room.

  First Assistant Inspector : He was reading the wrong page.

• Joseph K. : Well, this obviously isn't anything of any importance. Quite honestly, I can't remember a single offense that could be charged against me. It's obviously a mistake. Something very trivial. But the real question is: who accuses me? Well?

  First Assistant Inspector : What do you mean?

  Joseph K. : What authority is...

  First Assistant Inspector : Don't you worry about that, mister!

• Second Assistant Inspector : What's this?

  Joseph K. : What's what?

  Second Assistant Inspector : A circular line with four holes.

  First Assistant Inspector : A circular line...

  Second Assistant Inspector : No, it's not really circular. It's more ovular.

  Joseph K. : Don't write that down...

  Second Assistant Inspector : Ovular!

  Joseph K. : For Pete's sake.

  Second Assistant Inspector : Why not?

  Joseph K. : Ovular?

  First Assistant Inspector : We can't not write it down just because you say we shouldn't.

  Joseph K. : Ovular isn't even a word.

  Second Assistant Inspector : Do you deny there's an ovular shape concealed under this rug?

  First Assistant Inspector : He denies everything!

• First Assistant Inspector : Do you want some good advice, mister? I wouldn't want the others to hear about it.

  Joseph K. : Well, now you'll want money, I suppose. Well, you've got the wrong man.

  First Assistant Inspector : That's what they all say.

  Joseph K. : I mean - bribery. I don't believe in it.

  First Assistant Inspector : Wait a minute, have I asked you to give me anything, sir? Mister?

  Second Assistant Inspector : We're leaving, mister.

  First Assistant Inspector : You're not going to be one of them troublemakers, now, are you?

• First Assistant Inspector : You accused us of corruption. You lodged a complaint.

  Joseph K. : I only mentioned - I only mentioned it to the Inspector.

  Second Assistant Inspector : And to the Examining Magistrate. Accused us of soliciting for bribes.

  Joseph K. : Well, you're not exactly innocent...

  First Assistant Inspector : If you knew what kind of money we're expected to live on, you wouldn't be so hard on us!

  Second Assistant Inspector : I've got a family to feed. Frank, here, wants to get married.

  First Assistant Inspector : It's custom for the arresting officers to get the prisoner's body linen.

  Second Assistant Inspector : Yeah, well, what difference can a few shirts make to anybody?

  First Assistant Inspector : Nothing!

  Second Assistant Inspector : Nothing at all! But still you had to denounce us.

  Joseph K. : Well, it wasn't anything personal. I was defending a principle.