Carry on Cleo (1964)

Sidney James: Mark Antony

Photos 

Quotes 

• Seneca : Ooh, Arab eh? I've heard they're intense lovers.

  Mark Antony : Well naturally, they do everything in tents.

• [Of the Britons] 

  Mark Antony : You know I just don't get these Britons; everytime we get a good punch up going, someone behind the line yells "Teas up!" and they all disappear!

  Julius Caesar : "Teas up"? How very odd! It must be one of these strange gods they worship, like this other one they're always talking about, "Crumpet."

  Mark Antony : What?

  Julius Caesar : "Crum-pet", I don't understand it at all.

  Mark Antony : You know something; I don't think these Britons don't want to be conquered.

• Mark Antony : All right, look here Marcus...

  Spencius : No, no, I'm Spencius. 'S my brother what's Marcus. We're in partnership now, you know. Marcus & Spencius.

• Mark Antony : Look at them. All solid bone and muscle.

  Spencius : Bone and muscle I've got plenty of. It's brains what people want nowadays.

  Mark Antony : They've got brains. Artisans, every one of them. Here you, what did you do in Britain?

  Hengist Pod : I was a wheelmaker.

  Mark Antony : See that? He makes wheels.

  Hengist Pod : Square ones.

  Mark Antony : Square... Never mind. Here, you. What did you do?

  Horsa : I was a hunter.

  Spencius : A hunter?

  Mark Antony : A hunter! Now, what about that then? A hunter. What did you hunt?

  Horsa : Romans.

• Bilius : Hail, Mark Antony!

  Mark Antony : Hail - snow, rain, thunder, lighting - the lot! Julius in?

  [Gloria screams and runs out] 

  Mark Antony : I see he is!

• Mark Antony : [reading a letter from Seneca]  Hello - there is news from Egypt, Ptolemy is trying to usurp Cleopatra.

  Julius Caesar : Trying to do what with her?

  Mark Antony : Usurp her.

  Julius Caesar : Sound positively revolting.

• Julius Caesar : Tony!

  Mark Antony : Julie! I caught you with your toga up!

  Julius Caesar : Oh yes, I'm sorry I've caught something, one of these local things I can't seem to shake off. It's called "a-stinking-cold"!

• [Seeing the capitive Britons rushing into Cleopatra's bedroom on the night she plans to kill Caesar] 

  Mark Antony : Blimey, she must be selling tickets!

• Mark Antony : There must be some way we can get rid of him.

  Cleopatra : I have a poisonous asp.

  Mark Antony : [checking out Cleopatra's ass]  Oh, I wouldn't say that.

• [repeated line] 

  Julius Caesar : [in greeting Mark Antony]  Tony!

  Mark Antony : [in greeting Julius Caesar in return]  Julie!

• Mark Antony : All you gotta do is get Caesar... alone!

  Cleopatra : Oh, that's what he's come for: money.