Carry on Cleo (1964)

Kenneth Williams: Julius Caesar

Photos 

Quotes 

• [repeated line] 

  Julius Caesar : Friends, Romans...

  Whoever happens to be next to him : Countrymen.

  Julius Caesar : I know!

• Julius Caesar : I've cleaned up this city. Have you forgotten my slogan? 'Nihil expectore in omnibus' - no spitting on the public transport.

• [Of the Britons] 

  Mark Antony : You know I just don't get these Britons; everytime we get a good punch up going, someone behind the line yells "Teas up!" and they all disappear!

  Julius Caesar : "Teas up"? How very odd! It must be one of these strange gods they worship, like this other one they're always talking about, "Crumpet."

  Mark Antony : What?

  Julius Caesar : "Crum-pet", I don't understand it at all.

  Mark Antony : You know something; I don't think these Britons don't want to be conquered.

• Cleopatra : [to Hengist who is dressed as Caesar]  You do not look like your bust.

  Julius Caesar : [who is dressed as Hengist]  No, he's not. He's just a bit cracked.

• Brutus : The senate are worried about matters in the east, the affairs involving Ptolemy and Cleopatra.

  Julius Caesar : Are they having an affair? Oh do tell!

• Bilius : Caesar, there is a messenger here without.

  Julius Caesar : I'm not surprised, if we stay here much longer we'll all be without.

• Mark Antony : [reading a letter from Seneca]  Hello - there is news from Egypt, Ptolemy is trying to usurp Cleopatra.

  Julius Caesar : Trying to do what with her?

  Mark Antony : Usurp her.

  Julius Caesar : Sound positively revolting.

• Julius Caesar : Tony!

  Mark Antony : Julie! I caught you with your toga up!

  Julius Caesar : Oh yes, I'm sorry I've caught something, one of these local things I can't seem to shake off. It's called "a-stinking-cold"!

• Bilius : I'm sorry Caesar but for the good of Rome, you must die!

  Julius Caesar : But you're my personal bodyguard and champion gladiator! I don't want to die! I may not be a very good live emperor but I'd be a worse one dead! Treachery! Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me.

• [repeated line] 

  Julius Caesar : [in greeting Mark Antony]  Tony!

  Mark Antony : [in greeting Julius Caesar in return]  Julie!

• Julius Caesar : Oh, I do feel queer.

• Julius Caesar : ...beware the nuts in May.