- Lancey Howard: [to Cincinnati Kid] You're good, kid, but as long as I'm around, you're only second best.
- Lancey Howard: Gets down to what it's all about, doesn't it? Making the wrong move at the right time.
- Cincinnati Kid: Is that what it's all about?
- Lancey Howard: Like life, I guess. You're good, kid, but as long as I'm around you're second best. You might as well learn to live with it.
- Shooter: Well, Lancey, are we all set for Monday night?
- Lancey Howard: Uh-huh.
- Shooter: I can get Lady Fingers to come.
- Lancey Howard: Lady Fingers? I haven't seen that old bitch - oh, it must be at least ten years;long enough to think of her almost fondly.
- Slade: How the hell did you know I didn't have the king or the ace?
- Lancey Howard: I recollect a young man putting the same question to Eddie the Dude. "Son," Eddie told him, "all you paid was the looking price. Lessons are extra."
- [Shooter's wife Melba is altering a jigsaw puzzle piece with a nail file]
- Shooter: Melba, why do you do that?
- Melba: So it'll fit, stupid.
- Shooter: No, I'm not talking about that. What I'm asking is... do you, uh, have to cheat at everything?
- Melba: At everything?
- Shooter: Yes. At... solitaire. I've yet to see you play one game of solitaire without cheating.
- Melba: So what?
- Shooter: Look, you're just cheating yourself, don't you understand? You'll be the loser, no one else but yourself!... You've ruined the puzzle, now, that doesn't go in there.
- [She forces the altered piece into place]
- Melba: Does now.
- Cincinnati Kid: Listen, Christian, after the game, I'll be The Man. I'll be the best there is. People will sit down at the table with you, just so they can say they played with The Man. And that's what I'm gonna be, Christian.
- Christian: I know.
- Lady Fingers: How you holdin' up, Lancey?
- Lancey Howard: Lady Fingers, that young man is a stud poker playing son of a...
- Lady Fingers: He's gettin' to you, ain't he?
- Lancey Howard: No, Lady, he hasn't gotten to me.
- Lancey Howard: Women are a universal problem in our business. Of course, uh, it's purely an academic question with me now, but, looking back, I think it's best not to look for a fixed thing. Just tie into something nice when you're away from the action and let it wear itself out.
- Slade: Six stacks, is that right, Shooter?
- Shooter: Six.
- Slade: Well, we've been playing 30 hours... uh, that rate, six thousand, that makes roughly, uh, $200 an hour. Thank you for the entertainment, gentlemen. I am particularly grateful to Lancey, here; it's been a rewarding experience to watch a great artist at work. Thank you for the privilege, sir.
- Lancey Howard: Well now, you're quite welcome, son. It's a pleasure to meet someone who understands that to the true gambler, money is never an end in itself, it's simply a tool, as a language is to thought. Good evening, uh... Mr. Slade.
- Slade: Good evening, Mr. Howard.
- [Slade blackmails Shooter into cheating on his dealing so the Kid will beat Howard]
- Shooter: Hey, why are you doing this? It can't be for money.
- Slade: Yes, for my kind of money, gut money. I wanta to see that smug old bastard gutted. Gutted!
- Shooter: Like he gutted you.
- Slade: Yes, that's right, that's right!
- Cincinnati Kid: You call that an argument?
- Slade: No, that's a fact. The argument's leaning over there against the door jamb.
- [Referring to his muscleman]
- Lancey Howard: [thinking on what he said to Lady Fingers] No, Lady; he hasn't gotten to me. Not yet; but he might, he just might.
- Shooter: You've been the man for a long time...
- Lancey Howard: That is undoubtedly true but don't let that fool you. I'm not ready to retire yet.
- Cincinnati Kid: What'd you do today?
- Christian: I went to the movies - and it was *all* in French.
- Cincinnati Kid: In French, huh?
- Christian: Yeah! You know what they do? They sign the words in at the bottom of the picture, in English, so that you could understand it.
- Cincinnati Kid: Oh yeah?
- Christian: Yeah!
- Cincinnati Kid: Oh, it wasn't in French.
- Christian: Huh? What?
- Cincinnati Kid: Wake up Lady Fingers. Ask if she's ready.
- Hoban: You ready, Lady Fingers?
- Lady Fingers: As Eddie the Dude said on his deathbed, "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."
- Melba: Why don't you make us a drink. You know where it is. All that dust at the pit. I always feel so dirty after one of those things.
- Cincinnati Kid: Brings out the best in you, Melba.
- Pig: Can't live with them and can't live without them, huh, Kid?
- Cincinnati Kid: Yeah, that's right, Pig.
- Pig: Don't lose no sweat, Kid. Mine left me too.
- Melba: I wonder why.
- Christian: You'll never guess where we've just been.
- Cincinnati Kid: Stag movies?
- Christian: We went to Turkish baths and we had rubdowns and everything!
- Melba: Yeah. You should have been there.
- Christian: Yeah!
- Shooter: Gentlemen, this game is five-card stud poker. There's no limit. No string bets. You can check and raise. A dead man has one half-hour to raise his roll outside and get back in the game.
- [deals]
- Shooter: Ace. Seven. Nine. Nine. Trey. Dealer guns up a 10. Ace bets.
- Lancey Howard: Ten dollars.
- Sokal: Call the sawbuck.
- Yeller: I'll play.
- Cincinnati Kid: I'm in.
- Pig: Off and running.
- Shooter: Dealer folds.
- [deals]
- Shooter: Eight to the ace. King to the seven. Queen to the nine. Pair of nines. Deuce. Pair of nines bets.
- Cincinnati Kid: Double sawbuck.
- Pig: I don't chase the nines.
- Lancey Howard: Hold.
- Sokal: I fold.
- Shooter: [deals new game] Queen. Four. Ten. King. King. And an ace to the man.
- Lancey Howard: Ace bets $25.
- Yeller: And I can't get started.
- Melba: [Cincinatti Kid slaps her butt] Ouch. You Bastard!
- Cincinnati Kid: Cheers baby.
- Melba: I hope you lose.
- Slade: How's your Melba these days?
- Shooter: Melba? Well, she's fine. Just fine.
- Slade: Yeah, she's a nice girl, Melba. A girl with quality and taste. Expensive tastes, I would imagine.
- Shooter: Well, I guess you might say that, yes.
- Slade: Well, that's as it should be. That's one of the great feminine characteristics. Taste for fine things. Of course, we can't always afford to indulge their tastes. That's the tragedy of it. That's when they start to drift away.
- Christian: Well, this Spanish General has sent the message that he's coming to spend the night with his army. Now, the men in the town are scared silly; so, the wives and the daughters tell them not to worry and go away and hide someplace and let them bargain with him. You see?
- Cincinnati Kid: Who?
- Christian: Well, the ladies - with the Spanish Army. I won't tell it anymore.
- Cincinnati Kid: No, go ahead.
- Christian: No, I won't tell it. No.
- Cincinnati Kid: Just tell me what happens.
- Christian: No! You won't believe this. But, the women get together and have this big party and they all go to - bed with the Spanish Army.
- Cincinnati Kid: Oh, yeah?
- Christian: Anyway, come morning - the soldiers go off, and everybody's happy.
- Cincinnati Kid: Yeah, and the husbands are happy?
- Christian: Yeah, husbands, fathers, everybody. It seems they - it seems they cared more about their lives than they did about their honor. Does that seem right to you?
- Melba: You ever been to the - Turkish bath?
- Christian: Turkish baths? French movies? I don't know about you, Melba.
- Melba: Well, then, come on and find out. The Turkish bath leaves *nothin'* to the imagination.
- Christian: But I wouldn't know what to do in a Turkish bath.
- Melba: But that's what's so marvelous. You don't do anything. They do it to ya. Come on!
- Christian: They do it to ya?
- Christian: I used to come here and play when I was a little one. I'd dream, mostly.
- Cincinnati Kid: Yeah? About what?
- Christian: Oh, just things that little girls dream about.