Carry on Up the Khyber (1968)

Peter Butterworth: Brother Belcher

Photos 

Quotes 

• Captain Keene : Fire at will!

  Brother Belcher : Poor old Will, why do they always fire at him?

• Brother Belcher : I've never ridden in a cart pulled by cows before.

  Captain Keene : Bullocks, Mr Belcher!

  Brother Belcher : No, I haven't, honestly.

• Brother Belcher : Don't worry - we'll save you some Strawberry Mousse!

• [last lines] 

  [after a shot of the Union Flag flying with "I'm backing Britain" printed across it] 

  Brother Belcher : [looking directly at the camera]  Of course, they're all completely mad, you know!

• Missionary : Oh what pretty earrings. Are they rubies?

  Busti : No they are mine.

• [the British outpost at the Khyber Pass has been attacked] 

  Lady Joan Ruff-Diamond : Oh! How awful! What can have happened ?

  Captain Keene : I don't like making guesses, but I wouldn't be surprised if there hadn't been a spot of foul play here.

  Missionary : Foul play? Look at them! Lying around like a lot of unwanted cocktail snacks!

  Private Jimmy Widdle : Ginger!

  Missionary : Who is?

  Private Jimmy Widdle : He is. Ginger, my mate.

  Sergeant-Major MacNutt : Private Hale ?

  Private Jimmy Widdle : Yes, Ginger Hale. Hello, Ginge. It's me, Jimmy. Your old mate, Jimmy Widdle.

  Private Ginger Hale : Jimmy? Is it you? My old mate?

  Private Jimmy Widdle : Ginge, mate! How do you feel?

  Private Ginger Hale : Oh, not so good. I think I've been wounded.

  Private Jimmy Widdle : Only here and there.

  Private Ginger Hale : Jimmy, I can trust you. Now, give it to me straight. Am I going to be all right?

  Private Jimmy Widdle : Of course not, Ginge mate.

  Private Ginger Hale : Eh?

  Private Jimmy Widdle : I said, "Of course not, Ginge mate."

  Private Ginger Hale : I'm not going to be all right?

  Private Jimmy Widdle : Well, how could you be, with half a dozen dirty great holes in you? You've had it.

  Private Ginger Hale : You're a bleeding fine mate, I must say.

  Private Jimmy Widdle : What do you mean? You asked me to give it to you straight.

  Private Ginger Hale : Yeah, but I didn't mean you to. You horrible little runt, you!

  Sergeant-Major MacNutt : That's enough! Widdle, you're a great little comfort to a dying man, aren't you? Now listen, Hale, it's Sergeant-Major MacNutt. What happened, lad?

  Private Ginger Hale : They attacked about a half-hour ago, Sir. Hundreds of them.

  [He belches] 

  Private Ginger Hale : Burpas! They... they... oooh!

  [Hale faints. Sergeant-Major MacNutt shakes his head sadly] 

  Private Jimmy Widdle : Oh, no! Ginge! Ginge, mate! I'm sorry, I... Poor old mate!

  [Widdle gently covers Hale's body with a greatcoat. Hale throws it off] 

  Private Ginger Hale : That's right! Bleeding well suffocate me!

• Captain Keene : Then I was going to say keep a stiff upper lip.

  Missionary : Well I'm not standing around here waiting for mine to stiffen!

• Burpa Guard : [responding to enquiry]  What do you want pig?

  Brother Belcher : [observing guard's rotten, broken teeth with disgust?]  I was going to ask if you could recommend a good dentist. But I don't think I'll bother!

• Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond : We used to know a missionary fella when we were in the Solomon Islands. Do you remember, dear?

  Lady Joan Ruff-Diamond : Oh, yes, a splendid man. He went down very well with the natives.

  Missionary : Did he?

  Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond : Yeah, they ate him.

• Brother Belcher : You can't even take part in a simple little orgy without going raving mad!