Danger: Diabolik (1968)

Adolfo Celi: Ralph Valmont

Photos 

Quotes 

• Diabolik : [as he and Valmont freefall from a plane that has suddenly exploded]  I almost forgot. When I stumbled, I attached a magnetic capsule to your plane.

  Ralph Valmont : Who cares? Pull the cord!

• [original version] 

  Ralph Valmont : Who's that? Must be Stud.

  [redubbed/MST3K version] 

  Ralph Valmont : Is that Stud... coming?

• Prostitute : [on Eva]  You can't fool me. She was no pro. I got suspicious right away. It was obvious. I could see at first glance that she was just "putting it on".

  Ralph Valmont : Remember what she looks like?

  Prostitute : Sure I do! Who could forget what she looked like? The way she was decked out in red, she looked like a cardinal, hmph! She had good legs, though.

  Ralph Valmont : Joe... call Tony. l figured Diabolik would make a play for those emeralds.

  Rose : Who wouldn't? They're beau-tiful!

  Ralph Valmont : Dry up, stupid! This might be our big chance. If you're right, I'll take good care of you.

  Prostitute : Want me to describe her?

  Ralph Valmont : Not to me - to Tony. Tell him.

  [Tony sets up an identikit] 

  Prostitute : Well, look at that! That's a funny-lookin' thing, what is it? I'm talking to you, what is it?

  Tony - Identikit Operator : You'll see. Don't touch it!

• Ralph Valmont : I would like us to make a little bargin, Inspector.

  Inspector Ginko : Really now, bargin with the police? I've got a good job. Since when do I make bargins with your kind? For once, we've got special powers.

  Ralph Valmont : Diabolik will manage to lose you your job. You can always apply to me. You'll find yourself better off. You'll be more warmly dressed, and... and your women less.

• [Rose's skirt is blown upwards by the air from the trapdoor in Valmont's plane] 

  Rose : Oh, Ralph! Nice - fresh air!

  Ralph Valmont : Scram!

• Ralph Valmont : [Syndicate members on flying plane]  We've just concluded an executive meeting of the Syndicate. We've taken a democratic vote. Five in favour of my plan, and three against it.

  [shoots two of the dissenters] 

  Frank : I change my vote! Don't shoot! Please! Please! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

  Ralph Valmont : Since you said "please", I won't shoot.

  [Valmont presses button, floor trap door opens - Frank, the last dissenter falls out screaming] 

  Ralph Valmont : Goodbye, Frank.

• Ralph Valmont : I told you I'd cross your name off the human register... LIAR!

  [fires a volley of bullets in a cross formation, killing Dr. Vernier] 

• Ralph Valmont : The necklace.

  Diabolik : When I've got Eva back.

  Ralph Valmont : No necklace, no Eva. That's the deal!

  Diabolik : Is that the only deal you've got going today, Valmont?

  Ralph Valmont : I don't have to talk. I could kill you instead.

  Diabolik : Go ahead. All you've got to do is push that button.

  [Valmont doesn't push the trapdoor button. Diabolik walks away from the trapdoor towards him] 

  Diabolik : Valmont, this is most unprofessional.

• Ralph Valmont : Listen Vernier, San Francisco dropped you out of the medical register. But if you're lying, I'll drop you out of the human register!