Danger: Diabolik (1968)

Terry-Thomas: Minister of the Interior, Minister of Finance

Photos 

Quotes 

• Inspector Ginko : Yes. Yes, sir.

  Minister of the Interior : ''Yes, sir''? Don't try to ''Yes, sir'' me, sir! You either.

  Police Chief : Yes, sir.

  Minister of the Interior : What am l going to say to the Prime Minister? ''Yes, sir''?

  Police Chief : Yes, sir.

  Minister of the Interior : [slaps desk]  NO, SIR! l am going to have to come up with some brilliant idea. Otherwise, he's going to find a new Minister of the Interior, and the next man may not have the same understanding of police methods as I have. Can you grasp that?

  Police Chief : No, sir.

  Minister of the Interior : Preposterous to think that one man can make a fool of the ENTIRE police force! We're a laughingstock in the world press, and our own newspapers are screaming for action! And that is PRECISELY what l intend giving them: vigorous, clear-sighted action. Now, firstly, it is obvious to the logical and well-trained mind that the first thing that Diabolik is going to do is to get those dollars out of the country.

  Inspector Ginko : Logical suggestion, sir.

  Minister of the Interior : [flattered]  Mm, thank you!

  Inspector Ginko : But, I'm afraid, quite useless.

  Minister of the Interior : What?

  Inspector Ginko : Diabolik will handle the ten million dollars, but in some quite different way.

  Minister of the Interior : What ''quite some different way''?

  Inspector Ginko : A way no mind but his could imagine.

  [cut to Diabolik and Eva making love on top of the money] 

• Minister of the Interior : Ladies and gentlemen, and especially the ladies and gentlemen of the press, who are with me here in this television studio... this conference has been arranged for the express purpose of enabling me to pass onto you some extremely heartening news. Your government, ever vigilant, determined to stamp out... to crush, the current crime wave, has restored... the death penalty.

  [audience chatters] 

  Minister of the Interior : As a temporary measure, of course. Faced with this extreme form of punishment, the socially-sick elements of our society... by that, I mean, criminals...

  Journalist : Are you referring to Diabolik?

  Minister of the Interior : Diabolik... I assure you that this individual, whose very name whose very name reveals his antagonism to the established values of our society, will soon be brought... to justice!

  [as the crowd chants "Hear, hear" and chatters, Diabolik, disguised as a photojournalist, uses his camera to spread "Exhilarating Gas" around the room] 

  Minister of the Interior : This criminal paranoid seems to have dedicated himself to a one-man fight against our society. This black mark, this manifestation of exaggerated delinquency has exceeded the boundaries of rational behaviour, within and without the legal structure that is the very basis of our freedom, and way of life.

  [some of the audience members chuckle] 

  Minister of the Interior : Mm-hm. He also seems to derive a great deal of pleasure... from me...

  [Diabolik "takes a picture", interrupting the Minister, who smiles and waves away the smoke coming from the camera] 

  Minister of the Interior : Making fun of our entire police force. He is certainly not going to make a fool of me.

  [Diabolik and Eva leave as the entire room erupts into uncontrollable laughter] 

• Minister of Finance : Ladies and gentlemen... this is the first opportunity that I have had of talking to you on the television as your new Minister of Finance. I shall speak frankly. I shall not conceal from you the gravity of the recent blows to our tax system, upon which, of course, the well-being of our entire society is... based. Not only have many millions' worth of tax receipts and currency and cheques gone up in flames, but far more tragically, the tax information files of virtually every taxpayer in this nation...

  [clears throat] 

  Minister of Finance : Have been destroyed. In this appalling emergency, I have taken upon, taken it upon myself to appeal to the civic pride of each and every one of you, whether you are watching this program or not. Let each come forward voluntarily to pay the tax he thinks he owes.

  Citizen : What is this, the comedy hour?

  Minister of Finance : I know... that I shall not have appealed to you in vain. I feel it. It is not a matter of only civic pride, but is a matter of national pride. I am perfectly certain that you will not cold-shoulder me, you will not turn your back on me, because it would not be a matter of turning your back on me, but on your very country.

  [bemused, the citizens turn their backs on him]