Monty Python's Flying Circus (1969–1974)

Ian Davidson: Brain Surgeon, Chief Commissioner of Police, Chief Constable Fire, Clerk of the Court, Colin, Edgar Hamilton, Fritz, Herman Rodriguez, RSPCA Man, Sixth Writer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chief Superintendent Lookout : [Inspector Tiger has been murdered]  This house is surrounded. I must ask that no-one leave the room. I'm Chief Superintendent Lookout.

  Lady Velloper : Lookout?

  Chief Superintendent Lookout : [jumps]  What, where? Oh, me, Lookout. Lookout of the Yard.

  Lady Velloper : Why, what would we see?

  Chief Superintendent Lookout : I'm sorry?

  Lady Velloper : What would we see if we look out of the yard?

  Chief Superintendent Lookout : ...I'm afraid I don't follow that at all. Aha. The body. So the murderer must be somebody in this room. Unless he had very long arms. Say thirty or forty feet. I think we can discount that one.

  [starts laughing] 

  Chief Superintendent Lookout : Lookout of the Yard! Very good. Right, now we'll reconstruct the crime. I'll sit down here. Constable, you turn off the lights.

  [lights out] 

  Chief Superintendent Lookout : Good. Now then, there was a scream, aaahhhhhhhhhh! Then just before the lights went up, there was a shot.

  [a shot, lights on. Lookout has an arrow through his neck, poison in his lap, and bullet in his head] 

  Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer : All right... all right, the house is surrounded and nobody leave the room and all the rest of it. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Assistnat Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer.

  All : Theresamanbehindyer?

  Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer : Ah, you're not going to catch me with an old one like that. Right, let's reconstruct the crime. Constable, you be Inspector Tiger.

  Policeman : Right, sir. Nobody leave the room ask shall. Somebody I leave nobody in the room body shall. Take the tablets Tigerbody.

  [clapping from the others] 

  Policeman : Alself me to myduce introlow left body in the roomself.

  Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer : Good, very good. Just sit down there. Right, now we'll pretend the lights have gone out. Constable, you scream.

  [constable screams] 

  Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer : Somebody shoots you...

  [shoots constable point-blank] 

  Assistant Chief Constable Theresamanbehindyer : and the door opens...

  Chief Constable Fire : Nobody move. I'm Chief Constable Fire.

  All : Fire?

  Chief Constable Fire : [jumps]  Where? Where?