Columbo (TV Series)
Troubled Waters (1975)
Peter Falk: Columbo
Photos
Quotes
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Purser Watkins : Lieutenant Columbo? The Captain would like to see you right away.
Lt. Columbo : The Captain? To see me? It's not about my wife, is it? I mean... she likes to have a good time, sometimes she gets carried away...
Purser Watkins : It's not about your wife, sir.
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Lt. Columbo : [seasick] The same thing happened to me last year. My wife and I were checked into this motel with a water bed. I thought I was gonna die.
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Lt. Columbo : [Lt. Columbo is preparing to test fire a bullet for a ballistics check] Would you mind?
Hayden Danziger : Mind what?
Lt. Columbo : Mind firing the gun into the mattress. I hate guns. Besides, I'm a bad shot. I'm liable to miss.
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Capt. Gibbon : [noting Columbo's raincoat] O-o-oh, tell me, Lieutenant... um... do you expect inclement weather in the Mexican waters?
Lt. Columbo : No, they tell me the weather down there's great this time of the year.
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Lt. Columbo : [Pointing to surgical gloves] Do you know how many pairs of these you have on board?
Doctor Frank Pierce : Uh, no, not offhand.
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Lloyd Harrington : Wait, Lieutenant, the man in the photograph... Do you think he's the one that did it?
Lt. Columbo : Yes. But don't say anything. I haven't gotten him yet.
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Lt. Columbo : We're going on a tropical cruise. Who packs gloves?
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Lt. Columbo : Saxophone repair, lead sheets, piano tuning, hotel, restaurant... All these receipts have one thing in common. They represent tax deductions, with one single exception - the receipt for the gun. He can't deduct that. He can deduct all these, so we know why he saved these. I'll tell ya, sir, for the life of me I can't understand why he saved this one.
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Hayden Danziger : Why are you checking on previous passengers?
Lt. Columbo : It's the timing of the murder, sir. Whoever killed Miss Wells must've known that she would go to her cabin during the break. You see, that would suggest a member of the crew or a member of the band. A passenger wouldn't know that - not on the FIRST night of the cruise - but a previous passenger WOULD.
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Purser Watkins : And, uh, Lieutenant, that's a boat.
Lt. Columbo : Oh, that's a... and... To hell with it.
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Lt. Columbo : [speaking to Danziger at the evening party] I will keep on something until it's finished.
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Lt. Columbo : I think I'll walk. The elevator's another one of my problems.
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Lt. Columbo : Sometimes my thoughts, it gets like a traffic jam in here.