The Big Bus (1976)

Stockard Channing: Kitty Baxter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kitty Baxter : Dan's a good man, and he's never eaten a whole person in his entire life.

• Parking Lot Doctor : Please sign this, absolving me of any responsibility for the results of treatment.

  Kitty Baxter : But you're a Doctor!

  Parking Lot Doctor : And I intend to remain one.

• Dan : Kitty, I want you to know something. I want you to know that every woman I kissed, every woman I held, every woman I caressed... every time I went to the Ajax Motel I was always thinking of you.

  Kitty Baxter : Don't say it if it isn't true.

  Dan : That's why I chased them all, Kitty, why I bedded them all. It was to think of you.

  Kitty Baxter : But why didn't you bed *me* to think of me?

  Dan : I don't know. But the important thing is... for the rest of my life I only want to bed you - and think of them.

• Kitty Baxter : I guess the rumors are true, you're really on the skids.

  Dan : Are you kidding? You see this? The deluxe assortment! What the hell are you talking about?

  Kitty Baxter : Always the big show, the big lie, it's the only thing about you that's big, your heart sure isn't.

  Dan : Look, Kitty, what happened in Akron wasn't my fault. Lefty got sick, I had to take that express run.

  Kitty Baxter : You mean you wanted to run, to do anything but walk down the aisle with me. You just couldn't give up your little carhop, could you?

  Dan : Kitty, there was never anybody but you.

• Professor Baxter : Is the bus okay?

  Scotty : Yes yes, but we have a much bigger problem: we've got no driver, and we've got no co-driver. Briggs' clutch foot is busted, and Ed's shifting arm's shot for good.

  Professor Baxter : Alright, then we'll just have to get ourselves some new drivers.

  Scotty : Sure but who? Who can learn a rig like Cyclops in just two weeks? It'd take a genius.

  Professor Baxter : I know one man who can handle it.

  Kitty Baxter : No Pop, not him, not Dan Torrence.

  Scotty : He's bad news, but he knows his way around a lug wrench.

  Professor Baxter : What happened between the two of you is ancient history, Kitty, we're talking *buses* now.

• Kitty Baxter : And thus was born the nuclear powered bus. My father and I are proud to have brought Cyclops to Coyote.

• Kitty Baxter : Pop! Pop are you...

  Parking Lot Doctor : [pulls sheet over Irving Baxter]  HE can't hear you.

  Mr. Ames : Oh my God.

  Professor Baxter : I can too! I can hear her!

  [pulls sheet down] 

  Kitty Baxter : Oh Pop!

  Parking Lot Doctor : Oh, I'm sorry, I thought he was resting.

• Mr. Ames : Today you'll see history made. Cyclops is the biggest project of its kind ever undertaken by man, ladies and gentlemen. It represents $12 million of capital and years of research. To fill you in on some of the details, I'd like to now turn you over to our project designer, Miss Kitty Baxter.

  Kitty Baxter : Thank you, Mr. Ames. This is indeed a proud day for all of us. At this very moment my proud father, Irving Baxter, is priming the nuclear engine that will propel the Mighty Cyclops.

• Dan : I'm not leaving you this time, baby, I couldn't live without you.

  Kitty Baxter : You're not lying again, are you?

  Dan : Of course not.

  Kitty Baxter : Good, I just wanted to be sure.

  Dan : What do you mean?

  Kitty Baxter : [chuckles]  I'm lying, my foot's been free for 10 minutes, let's go.

• Dan : Kitty, I want this big lug to be my co-driver.

  Kitty Baxter : Not so fast, Dan, not just anybody can handle Cyclops. No offense, Shoulders, but Ed Collins was our co-driver and he's a tough guy to replace.

  Dan : Yeah well don't you worry, Shoulders can fill his shoes.

  Kitty Baxter : I know, but can he fit into his uniform? Can you wear a 42 long?

  Professor Baxter : I usually...

  Dan : Can you?

  Kitty Baxter : Yes or not.

  Dan : Answer the woman!

  Professor Baxter : I usually take a 44.

  Kitty Baxter : I'm sorry, Shoulders, thanks for dropping by, Dan, I tried.

  Dan : Alright, Kitty, either he gets into Collins' pants, or I'm walking out of Briggs' shoes. Take it or leave it.

  Kitty Baxter : [pause]  Alright, I'll take the risk.

• Dan : I'm coming, Kitty! Forgive me, Kitty. Forgive me for leaving you at the church! Forgive me for cheating on you with that carhop, with that switchboard operator, with that drum majorette. I lied about them all, Kitty, your best friend Toby, your cousin Brenda, your cousin Charlotte, your good looking aunt what's-her-name.

  Kitty Baxter : Dan! Turn off your intercom, you're killing me!

  Dan : Shit.

  Kitty Baxter : Aunt Florence, I'll kill her!

• Kitty Baxter : Nuclear reactor indicator?

  Dan : Upper right-hand console, amber light.

  Kitty Baxter : Nuclear reactor shutoff?

  Dan : Overhead control box, red toggle switch.

  Kitty Baxter : Nuclear... cigarette lighter?

  Dan : ...Above the nuclear windshield wipers.

  Kitty Baxter : Wrong! There is no nuclear cigarette lighter! Either you know this or you don't!

  Dan : What do you want from me? I've been up four nights with this stuff!

• Kitty Baxter : [At the Captain's dinner table]  Father Kudos... would you say a benediction?

  Father Kudos : Uh... well, I suppose you want something about God!