The Big Bus (1976)

Bob Dishy: Dr. Kurtz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Kurtz : Why did they throw me out? Why did those veterinarians disbar me? Why did they take away my dog and cat hospital? Why? Because... because I was ahead of my time, that's why. I was the only one who had the courage to put an IUD in a rabbit!

  Tommy Joyce : [singing]  Hey! Doggy Doctor, that's his beat... yeah! Four-legged friends he likes to treat. And the pigeons and squirrels think he's all-reet, Doggy Doctor!

  Dr. Kurtz : It wasn't my fault!

  Tommy Joyce : I'm sure it wasn't, sir. Bow wow!

• Sybil Crane : You're gonna kill us, we're taking over the bus.

  Dan : So you want to take it over?

  Claude Crane : That's right.

  Dan : Well who the hell's gonna drive this thing? Huh? Come on, speak up! Who thinks they can handle this?

  Sybil Crane : [to Claude]  Be a man, raise your hand you little lizard. He will.

  Dr. Kurtz : The lizard will.

  Dan : Oh he can, huh? Well let's just see if he can. You want to turn left, when do you signal? 50 feet? 100 feet? 600 feet? You come to an intersection, there's an ambulance, a police car, a fire truck, who has the right of way? Hospital zone, school zone, what's your speed limit? Alright, here's an easy one, you come to railroad tracks, what do you do?

  Sybil Crane : Open your doors!

  Claude Crane : Open your doors!

  Dan : When? Before, during or after? You don't know, do you? Well that's sad, pal, because you just killed everybody.

• Dr. Kurtz : I know what bitterness is. I shake hands with it every morning.

  Emery Bush : Oh, yeah? I haven't lived yet - now I'm gonna die!

  Dr. Kurtz : You call that bitterness? You don't know what it is. They disbarred me for life!

  Emery Bush : But they didn't disbar you *from* life. Go ahead, talk bitterness with me now!

  Dr. Kurtz : I'm through talking bitterness! I wanna talk hate. What do you hate?

  Emery Bush : I hate this piano player.

  Tommy Joyce : [Forced grin]  Thank you!