King Kong (1976)

Charles Grodin: Fred Wilson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dwan : How can I become a star because of... because of someone who was stolen off that gorgeous island and locked up in that lousy oil tank?

  Fred Wilson : It's not *someone*! It's an animal, a beast who tried to rape you.

  Dwan : That's not true. He risked his life to save me.

  Fred Wilson : He tried to rape you, honey. And before you cry a lot, you should ask the natives on that island what they thought of losing Kong.

  Jack Prescott : Actually, they'll miss him a lot.

  Fred Wilson : Like leprosy.

  Jack Prescott : No, you're dead wrong. He was the terror, the mystery of their lives, and the magic. A year from now that will be an island full of burnt-out drunks. When we took Kong, we kidnapped their god.

• Fred Wilson : [as the "Petrox Explorer" comes in sight of Skull Island]  You know something? I always wondered how Cortez felt when he first saw the Inca treasure.

  Jack Prescott : That wasn't Cortez; it was Pizarro. And he died busted, Fred.

• Dwan : Oh, my God! What a meaningful miracle! Do you realize that I owe my life to a movie.

  Fred Wilson : Is that so?

  Dwan : I swear to God. You see, Harry was showing this film that I refused to watch - and that's why I was up on deck by myself when the yacht exploded. Did you ever meet anyone before whose life was saved by "Deep Throat"?

• Jack Prescott : You wouldn't.

  Fred Wilson : Bet me.

  Jack Prescott : Even an environmental rapist like you - even you - wouldn't be asshole enough to wipe out a unique new species of animal. Fred, the kids would burn every Petrox gas station from Maine to California.

• [Wilson steps out of the launch and onto the beach] 

  Fred Wilson : Let's not get eaten alive on this island. Bring the mosquito spray.

• Jack Prescott : Kong! Kong! Kong! Kong! you heard them chant that! He exists. You saw the wall, right? Now who the hell do you think they're planning to give that girl to?

  Fred Wilson : It's some nutty religion. A priest gets dressed up like an ape and gets laid.

• Fred Wilson : Take plenty of TNT when you go inland. Any sign of a monkey bigger than four feet, send him bang-bang.

• Fred Wilson : Well, here's to the big one.

• Fred Wilson : Jack, there's nothing I haven't checked on you. I know the day, the hour you completed your toilet training.

• Roy Bagley : Well, Fred, I finished testing the samples from that pool. It'll be real great oil!

  Fred Wilson : Son of a bitch! Ah, ha ha! Fred Wilson is "crazy" is he? Wait'll those candy-asses in New York hear about this one! Wait'll I put the screws to them! I'll grind them...

  Roy Bagley : Like I said, it *will* be real great oil... as soon as Mother Nature finishes cooking it a little longer... a bit more aging.

  Fred Wilson : How much longer?

  Roy Bagley : Shit, hardly a tick o' the clock, as geological time goes. Say, uh, ten thousand years. Until then, you'd get better mileage filling up your Cadillac with mule piss!

• Carnahan : [conversing with Wilson over the 2-way radio regarding the next procedure in the search for Kong and Dwan]  There's gonna be somebody on that radar all night, isn't there?

  Fred Wilson : [in a tone of weary disgust]  Any large furry BLIPS seen moving in your direction, you will KNOW...! Sweet dreams and out.

• Jack Prescott : [interrupts the briefing aboard the Petrox Explorer]  And I'm not so sure human feet have never walked on that island before. You see, in 1605, Piero Fernandez DeQuerez was blown south from Timetang. He wrote in his log of piercing the white veil. That's obviously the cloud bank. And landing on the beach of the skull... Where he heard the roar of the greatest beast. The rest of that log entry unfortunately was suppressed by the Holy Office in Rome.

  Fred Wilson : Who are you?

  Jack Prescott : In 1749, a waterlogged lifeboat was found in the same area, it was empty, but drawn in blood on the thwart was the likeness of some huge, slouchy humanoid thing. And this strange warning... "From the wedding with the creature who touches Heaven, lady, God preserve thee." I also heard of a note in a bottle written by a dying Japanese submariner in 1944. I haven't been able to track that one down.

• Fred Wilson : A NASA spy satellite went way off course and photographed it - by mistake. I personally got hold of these super classified pictures via a donation I made to someone in Washington, DC. No names, but, I think he lives on Pennsylvania Avenue.

• Fred Wilson : Jack, the girl's about to come to, she could be hysterical, so follow me. Come on, Prescott, move it.

  Jack Prescott : Can a guy get a cheeseburger around here?

• Dwan : [radiant smile]  Hey, Jack, do I look different?

  Jack Prescott : Yeah, you shine.

  Dwan : That's right. I'm a star.

  Fred Wilson : It's all set, Jack. Coast-to-coast tour. Lights! Camera! Kong! And probably Nuroyev and Fonteyn!

• Fred Wilson : Jack, let me straighten you out on a couple of points. One, that wall is an ancient ruin. Two, this island is uninhabited.

  [Loud drumming begins, coming from the direction of the wall] 

  Jack Prescott : And three, there's an uninhabited German beer hall down there with a mechanical band.

• Roy Bagley : I guess you can stop sweating, Fred. Navy record's clean. Everything checks out. Fingerprints. The guy's kosher.

  Fred Wilson : And I just know how to use him, too.

• Fred Wilson : Ah, the power of it. Ah, the superpower! Hail to the power! Hail to the power of Kong! And Petrox!

• Jack Prescott : Jack Prescott. I'm from Princeton. Department of Primate Paleonthology.

  Fred Wilson : Department of? You lyin' hippie! You're from another oil company! How did you know about this?

• Captain Ross : Like you said, the hell with the weather. Look, Wilson, we could get out of this stuff by backtracking around Timor Island. The only hitch is it'll cost us a few days.

  Fred Wilson : Keep on course, captain, I'm fine.

  Captain Ross : You know, I got to admit, for a New York desk guy, you got a lot of guts.

  Fred Wilson : Guts? I sold this one to the board. If that island doesn't produce, I'll be wiping windshields.

• Jack Prescott : You all right?

  Fred Wilson : I just fell in a Goddamn hole.

  Jack Prescott : No, you didn't.

  Fred Wilson : What do you mean I didn't? Look at me.

  Jack Prescott : You're not in a hole. That's a footprint.

• Dwan : God, it's scary. It's like there's a curse on all of us.

  Fred Wilson : Damn it! I'm tired of you trying to confuse this girl's mind! This is her big chance and yours too! You know there are stars in Princeton the same way there are in Hollywood, Jack. You want out, you want me to cable Harvard or Yale and get Kong another keeper?

  Jack Prescott : Coast to coast tours, beauty and the beast, that's a grotesque farce!

• Fred Wilson : Jack, you want to talk for us?

  Jack Prescott : I'll try.

• [Jack takes a picture of Fred with Dwan] 

  Fred Wilson : Hey, hey, hey. Don't print those. I'm a married man.

  Jack Prescott : Guaranteed to cover on People Magazine.

  Fred Wilson : Print just one.

• Fred Wilson : Except, I promise you'll never get another booking in your life. You'll end up tap-dancing at Rotary clubs.

• Fred Wilson : You had a year of medical school before you switched to zoology, right?

  Jack Prescott : What do you got, crystal balls?

• Roy Bagley : Do you really think that's going to ring the bell? Promise oil, bring back a monkey?

  Fred Wilson : Look at that Exxon campaign. "We'll put a tiger in your tank." It did zillions with just a paper tiger!

• Fred Wilson : Take this lousy spy below till he's hungry enough to stop spoutin' ape shit.

• Fred Wilson : Think positive. Guys who think negative don't get very high up the Petrox tower.

• Roy Bagley : Look down there, that pool.

  Fred Wilson : Do you think it could be?

  Roy Bagley : The surface seems viscous. It sure as hell could be oil.

  Fred Wilson : Sweet Jesus! Dear Rockefeller!

• Fred Wilson : Any chance of you two kids getting married?

  Dwan : I don't know.

  [looks expectantly into Jack's eyes] 

  Dwan : This is so sudden.

  Fred Wilson : Maybe we can think of some nutty way for Kong to give away the bride.

  [pained look from Jack] 

  Fred Wilson : Yeah, all right, *tough* to get him to do it anyway. Marriage is possibly an old-fashioned image, huh?

  Dwan : I don't know. What do you think, Jack?

  [no answer, only Kong's thunderous roar from deep inside the hull below]