The Ritz (1976)

Paul B. Price: Claude

Quotes 

• Claude Perkins : Ya really know how to mess up an act, you know that, Mister?

  Carmine Vespucci : You know what they call people like you?

  Claude Perkins : Fashionable.

• Claude Perkins : [to Brick]  Hey! What do you need, a brick wall to fall on your head? Resting! It's a euphemism for not interested... Skinny!

• Claude Perkins : [to Carmine]  You know, mister, you really know how to break up an act.

• Abe Lefkowitz : I thought you'd sworn off this place.

  Claude Perkins : I thought I had, too.

  Abe Lefkowitz : You got homesick for us, right?

  Claude Perkins : Well, I didn't have much choice. I've been barred from the Athenaeum.

  Abe Lefkowitz : Come on! No one gets barred from the Athenaeum.

  Claude Perkins : Well, there was this man there...

  Abe Lefkowitz : A fat man, right?

  Claude Perkins : Fat? He was the Magic Mountain! He threw me into one of my frenzies. I went beserk and kicked his door open, so they threw me out and told me never to come back again. I was willing to pay for it. I just wanted to talk to him. You know how I am.

• Claude Perkins : It's good to be back, Abe! I feel strangely optimistic about this evening.

• Claude Perkins : [trying to seduce Gaetano]  You'll never guess what I had for dinner tonight, so I'm just going to tell you.

  Gaetano Proclo : I beg your pardon?

  Claude Perkins : A nice ground-pork meatloaf with mozzarella, mashed potatoes covered with gobs of gravy, carrots floating in butter, and chunks of avocado with roquefort dressing. Couldn't you just die?

  Gaetano Proclo : [confused]  I don't know what I could just.

  Claude Perkins : And then for dessert, German chocolate cake with two scoops of mocha walnut ice cream.

• Claude Perkins : [frequent refrain]  Jelly Roll, baby! You're my Jelly Roll man!