The World's Greatest Lover (1977)

Randolph Dobbs: Yes Man #1

Quotes 

• Adolph Zitz : All right! We'll get lovers from every big city and hick town on the map. Because, gentlemen, I promise you that within two weeks, every male in America between the ages of 17 and 55 is going to stop for a moment and at least think about coming to Hollywood to screen test for the biggest chance of his life - the chance to star in the new Rainbow Studios film: The World's Greatest Lover! Now! How's that for an idea?

  Yes Man #1 : Great!

  Yes Man #2 : Gweat!

  Sven, Yes Man #3 : Great! Yoost great!

  [points to the barber] 

  Barber : Very good...

  [fearing the onset of another of Zitz's outbursts] 

  Barber : I mean... great!

  [Zitz desperately tries to stop himself from strangling the barber again, gives up] 

  Adolph Zitz : Too late!

  [lifts the barber in air by his neck] 

• Adolph Zitz : Gentlemen, I am not a child and I do not wish to be treated as one. Is that understood?

  Group of yes men : Yes, Sir!

  Adolph Zitz : Good. Now, here's the question: If you went up to any bum in the street and asked him which is the biggest movie studio in Hollywood, what would he say? Joe?

  Yes Man #1 : Well, Rainbow Studios, home of the stars.

  Adolph Zitz : All right now. All right, I don't want any of that baloney. Wes?

  Yes Man #2 : I would say Wainbow. Wainbow Studios. It's the wargest and the best.

  Adolph Zitz : Save it. Save that yes-man shit. You think I need this kind of babying? Sven?

  Sven, Yes Man #3 : Rainbow. Rainbow Studios. I don't think there is any question about that.

  Adolph Zitz : Jesus Christ! Is there not one honest man in this room?

  [points to the barber] 

  Barber : Oh, uh, Paramount, I guess.

  Adolph Zitz : [Chuckling]  That's very interesting. I'm just curious - why would you say that?

  Barber : Because they have Rudolph Valentino.

  [Zitz gets off his chair and starts strangling the barber] 

  Adolph Zitz : Son of a bitch! Dog-doo, pee-pee brain! You're a lying traitor, did you know that? You ca-ca-in-your-pants fart blossom, I'll tear your tongue out! I'll tear your tongue out! I'll tear your...

• [while viewing the audition reels on a projector] 

  Adolph Zitz : When's the final audition?

  Yes Man #1 : Friday, Mr Zitz.

  Adolph Zitz : How many 'rotten's have we got?

  Yes Man #1 : 2300.

  Adolph Zitz : How many 'fairly rotten's?

  Yes Man #1 : 'Fairly rotten's? 14. Yeah, 14.

  Adolph Zitz : Have we got a 'doesn't stink'?

  Yes Man #1 : No, sir.

  Adolph Zitz : We don't have one 'doesn't stink'?

  Yes Man #1 : Not yet, sir.

  Adolph Zitz : I can't believe it. All I need is three finalists, and I can't find one 'doesn't stink'?