Mork & Mindy (1978–1982)
Pam Dawber: Mindy McConnell, Mandy
Photos
Quotes
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Louise Bailey : [in a jail cell with Mindy] Funny the way things happen. I'm in here because of a silly old parking meter.
Mindy McConnell : You're kidding!
Louise Bailey : No, I went into a hardware store and when I came out, *there* was a policeman writing me a ticket.
Mindy McConnell : I don't believe it, they threw you in jail for a parking ticket.
Louise Bailey : Well, in a roundabout way. You see when I put the shovel in the trunk, Walter's arm fell out.
Mindy McConnell : Who's Walter?
Louise Bailey : My husband.
Mindy McConnell : What was he doing in the trunk?
Louise Bailey : Not much... he was dead. I warned him about his snoring for years but he just wouldn't believe me. So last night I took a pair of my very best pantyhose, and I wrapped them around his neck... real tight. You know it was the first good night's sleep I've had in 31 years.
Mindy McConnell : [Mindy gets up and walks across to the other side of the cell] Well, you look well rested.
Louise Bailey : You don't snore, do you, dear?
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Franklin Delano Bickley : That's diddly, he's just going out of town, I'm going out of business. I used to be the best greeting card writer around. I can't work any more.
Mindy McConnell : Oh, come on, we don't make that much noise.
Franklin Delano Bickley : I know, I was blaming it on you but it's time i faced it. I've lost it.
Mork : We could form a posse and find it if you want.
Franklin Delano Bickley : No, it's no use. They say your sympathy is the first thing to go. I used to be able to get tears out of a coat rack. Not any more.
[pulls a card from his pocket]
Franklin Delano Bickley : Listen to this. "Your pet rabbit died. Poor little muffet. Your two choices are, eat it or stuff it".
Mork : Aww, that's sad.
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Mork : If Holly liked him so much, how come she punched him and told him he was weird.
Mindy McConnell : Boys and girls often punch or push or hit each other as a sign of affection.
Mork : Punching and pushing and calling someone names means you like them?
Mindy McConnell : Yeah, it can.
Mork : Then the cowboys and Indians are lovers?
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Mork : [Mork's emotions are out of control. His solution is to introduce them to Mindy's emotions] OK guys, come on over here
[mimes football huddle]
Mork : Right!
[leaps back over to Mindy]
Mindy McConnell : Well?
Mork : I've got mixed emotions.
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Mindy McConnell : [Mork and Mindy are trapped in a giant birdcage facing certain death] Mork, I have something to confess to you. When you were out one day, I... I... I put on your spacesuit.
Mork : [shocked] The helmet, too?
Mindy McConnell : Boots and all!
Mork : [after Mork has had a chance to absorb this revelation] Well, Mindy, I have something to confess to you.
[Mindy grows more and more shocked as she connects the dots]
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[alarm for Mork's wristwatch which he wears round his ankle goes off]
Mindy McConnell : Ah, your foot's ringing. I'll get it.
[bends down and pushes button on watch, pulls out small piece of paper under watch strap]
Mindy McConnell : What's this piece of paper?
Mork : Must be a footnote.
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Mindy McConnell : Mork, why are you building a tower of Cheerios?
Mork : Because it's hard to stack oatmeal.
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Mindy McConnell : [Mork has proposed, and after chatting with Fred and Cora, she decides to not marry Mork] I guess what I'm really trying to say is... I can't marry you
Mork : Mind', That's a joke right, like the volunteer army? Ha ha ha... R R R!... R R Rrrr.
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Mearth : [seeing that the apartment has been filled with expensive toys] Mammy, the tooth fairy *has* been keeping up with inflation.
Mindy McConnell : [sarcastic] Gee, I wonder who could be behind all this.
Mork : [Mork jumps out of a huge box in the middle of the room] Surprise!
Mindy McConnell : No, not really.
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Mork : [referring to the Exidor Boutique, in which Mork invested all of their savings] Come on, Mind, Exidor *knows* what he's doing.
Exidor : [storming out of the dressing room, talking to his imaginary friend] What do you mean the mannequins want a coffee break? They just had one ten minutes ago and all they did was dribble.
Exidor : [to Mork] Partner. Glad to see you brought the little woman.
Mindy McConnell : We want our money back now, and don't call me the little woman.
Mork : What she's trying to say is, Exidor, we've had a change of heart, you know like when Annie Richards wanted to change dressing rooms.
Exidor : I've only been open two hours. Even Evita didn't pay off its backers that fast.
Mindy McConnell : We want our money back.
Exidor : Look, business is a little slow but we're gonna have our two-for-one sale. Buy two, get one. Who could resist that?
Mindy McConnell : That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
Exidor : Listen, Perky, are you insinuating I'm some kind of crack-pot? Well, that's what they said about David Rockefeller.
Mindy McConnell : Nobody ever said that about David Rockefeller.
Exidor : *I* did...
[suddenly looks the other way]
Exidor : Pepe, pepe. You call yourself a tailor? Just lengthen the sleeve don't clip his nails
[Exidor storms off with "Pepe"]
