The Nude Bomb (1980)

Robert Karvelas: Larabee

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Quotes 

• Larrabee : Max, I've been thinking about it. And if they decide to drop the nude bomb, I know the answer.

  Larrabee : [Max does not reply]  Well?

  Maxwell Smart : Well what?

  Larrabee : Don't you wanna know the answer?

  Maxwell Smart : No.

  Larrabee : Food.

  Maxwell Smart : Food?

  Larrabee : Sure, the whole world will start wearing food.

• Larrabee : How was the U.N., Max?

  Maxwell Smart : Very cooperative, Larrabee. It's a fine organization.

  Larrabee : Max, I've been thinking about it. And if they decide to drop the "Nude Bomb," I know the answer...

  Larrabee : [Long pause, as Larrabee awaits Max's response]  Well?

  Maxwell Smart : Well what?

  Larrabee : Don't you want to know the answer?

  Maxwell Smart : No!

  Larrabee : Food.

  Maxwell Smart : [incredulous]  Food?

  Larrabee : Sure. The whole world will start wearing food.

  Maxwell Smart : Larrabee, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life. The whole world will start wearing food? I have heard you say some dumb things, Larrabee, but that has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth! "People wearing food." Forget it, Larrabee. Just forget it!... Jesus!

  Maxwell Smart : [long pause, then Max looks at Larrabee with curiosity]  What kind of food?

  Larrabee : Fruits, vegetables, fish, but not too much red meat. You wear red meat a couple of times a week, that's plenty.

  Maxwell Smart : But this is crazy!

  Larrabee : Why? We're just going back to the Bible. Now, what did Adam and Eve wear to cover up the good parts? Fig leaves! Now, that's fruit! Now, you take a head of romaine lettuce. That will clothe a family of six. You buy a flank steak, you throw it over your shoulder... and you got a stole! Cantaloupe. You cut it in half, scoop out the inside - and you got a bra.

  Maxwell Smart : What holds up the bra?

  Larrabee : Linguini.

  Maxwell Smart : Linguini? Larrabee, that's insane. Do you realize the whole world is facing a food shortage as it is?

  Larrabee : Max, this will work. People for the first time will know where their next meal is coming from. They'll be wearing it. You'll wear it two or three times, then you eat it.

  Maxwell Smart : Won't it spoil?

  Larrabee : Not if you're neat.

  Maxwell Smart : What has neatness got to do with it?

  Larrabee : Well, you can't take your clothes off and throw them over a chair anymore. You got to learn to fold them neatly and put them in the refrigerator.