One-Trick Pony (1980)
Paul Simon: Jonah
Photos
Quotes
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Jonah : Hey. Cal van Damp. What's the good word with you?
Cal van Damp : Well, you're the bright boy, I figured you'd know.
Jonah : Steatopygous.
Cal van Damp : What?
Jonah : Steatopygous. It means 'a large rump... a fat ass.'
Cal van Damp : Why is that the good word?
Jonah : Well it's like, see- What if I was- If I was to say to you, "Cal, you have a very fat ass." You could be offended. But if I say, "Hey! Good evening, Cal! You sure look steatopygous!" Then you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, do ya?
Cal van Damp : Hope you don't have any plans for getting your records played on any radio stations.
Jonah : Not really, no.
Cal van Damp : Well you shouldn't, 'cause you won't get any.
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Jonah : Anna Freud happens to love Rock 'n' Roll. She came backstage and sold us some blow in Akron, Ohio. That's where she lives.
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Jonah : Well, what was I supposed to say? "Yes, Walter, I am sort of fucking your wife"?
Lonnie Fox : Is that what we're doing? Sort of fucking?
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Marion : It's the longest adolescence I have ever seen. Well, admit it, in six years, you'll be forty years old. Now, you've gone directly from adolescence to middle age.
Jonah : In six years I'll be forty years old. In sixteen years, I'll be fifty years old. In twenty-six years, I'll be sixty years old. In a mere sixty-six years, I'll be a hundred years old.
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Jonah : The fern is doing very well.
Marion : Yes, the fern is doing well, it's doing very, very well.
Jonah : You spray it regularly, do ya?
Marion : I spray it every day, I talk to it, give it lots of encouragement.
Jonah : [whispering] You haven't told it about our separation?
Marion : No, absolutely not. I didn't think it would be wise at this time, it's just beginning to sprout new leaves.
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Jonah : Well, what do you expect? "A grown man living in a kid's world." What do you think I'm doing out there? Cashing in my E tickets for a ride through the Magic Kingdom? You think I'm playing my gigs in The Haunted House?
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Marion : I'd like to talk to you about Matty.
Jonah : [Looking in the refrigerator] No yogurt? No strawberry yogurt?
Marion : Well, you were the one who liked strawberry yogurt.
Jonah : [Closing the refrigerator] Boy, you get a little separated and you can just forget it for your strawberry yogurt... .Talk to Matty about what?
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Clarence Franklin : What about our bread?
Jonah : What about our bread?
Clarence Franklin : Let me tell you something. We've been friends a long time. But I can't live on no $400 a week. It doesn't cover my alimony or my dope bills.
Danny Duggin : What dope bills? You haven't bought anything in years!
Clarence Franklin : Fuck you, years!
Jonah : You're not the only one with alimony and dope bills.
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Hare Krishna : [Offering Jonah a book] You said that your mind is troubled, why don't you check it out, brother?
Jonah : You know, this is such a minor point, I hate to even bring it up but... I have a brother.
Hare Krishna : We're all brothers.
Jonah : No, I mean I have a real brother.
Hare Krishna : We're all real brothers!
Jonah : Well, this real brother used to sleep in the other bed in my room.
Hare Krishna : Look, look, all I'm saying to you is if you want to purify your existence, get into your spiritual self, check it out.
[Jonah accepts the book]
Hare Krishna : Okay, okay, Hare Krishna!
Jonah : [Softly as he walks away] Okay, okay, Harry Chapin.
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Danny Duggin : All right. The first drummer with the Average White Band. Robbie...
Jonah : Right.
Danny Duggin : I don't know his last name.
Jonah : Robbie OD'd at Cher's friend's house.
Clarence Franklin : I'm runnin' outta names.
Jonah : Right.
Danny Duggin : OD'd at Cher's friend's house was his last name?
Jonah : No, that's where he...
Danny Duggin : Oh.
