Smokey and the Bandit II (1980)
Burt Reynolds: Bandit
Photos
Quotes
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Buford T. Justice : [Leaning against his car with his gun pointed at Bandit] Well as you can see Bandit, I've got my piece in my hand.
'Bandit' : You've got your WHAT in your hand?
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[Cledus is standing over the Bandit, who's on the floor, drunk]
'Bandit' : Cledus, you've gotten taller.
Cledus Snow : Yes, and you've gotten drunker. This place looks like a shithouse!
[Bandit points to the bathroom]
'Bandit' : You want a shithouse? It's in there.
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'Bandit' : Excuse me sir, but your ass is on fire. I bet you can't wait to get back home to Canada and stick it in the snow.
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'Bandit' : I didn't take Charlotte to Texas.
Carrie : You didn't?
'Bandit' : No.
Carrie : What about Big Enos?
'Bandit' : Let him get his own elephant.
Carrie : What about the money?
'Bandit' : I blew it. But we can still make it.
Carrie : Have you got more than a dollar?
'Bandit' : Yeah.
Carrie : In cash?
'Bandit' : Yeah.
Carrie : Then that's good enough.
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Cledus Snow : [punches Bandit and knocks him down] Doc, I thought I loved him too much to do that to him.
'Bandit' : Obviously not.
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Cledus Snow : [Bandit is being chased by a lot of police and Cledus is heading straight for them in his truck] Tell me, how many trucks do you see?
'Bandit' : I see one, unless I've been drinking.
Cledus Snow : [yells in the CB] Okay, boys... do it, to it!
Cledus Snow : [19 trucks emerge from behind Snowman's truck] Well, I must be commode-hangin' drunk, coz I see about twenty trucks. Ha ha!
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'Bandit' : Hi, Buford!
Buford T. Justice : Hello, you handsome sombitch!
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'Bandit' : [finding out Charlotte's pregnant] Who did it?
Cledus Snow : Don't look at me.
Doc : Probably another elephant.
'Bandit' : I know that, when did it happen?
Doc : Long time ago.
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Doc : Sure, take her in the truck, make the baby go bada-bing, bada-boom, but I'll tell you this, I'm not going to be responsible.
[walks off muttering Italian]
Cledus Snow : [to the Bandit] Don't you understand English? He says you can't be shaking Charlotte around in that truck, she's gonna have a baby!
'Bandit' : We're talking about $400,000, do you understand that? This is our last chance! $400,000!
Cledus Snow : I understand $400,000 and I would like to get my share of $400,000, but I ain't gonna kill an elephant to get it.
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'Bandit' : You know I could take you head off.
Cledus Snow : And you know that's just what you' gonna have to do.
'Bandit' : What is WRONG with you idiots? You act like she's human!
[sees tears running down Charlotte's face, Doc starts crying, Cledus tears up]
'Bandit' : I'm sorry, Charlotte.
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Terry Bradshaw : [Bandit drives along the sideline and pulls up next to Terry Bradshaw] Hi, Bandit. Hi, Frog.
Carrie : Hi, Terry.
'Bandit' : Hey, I need a favor.
Terry Bradshaw : You always do.
'Bandit' : Yeah. Uh, do you still got your ranch in Shreveport?
Terry Bradshaw : You betcha.
'Bandit' : [Points] Now, I don't have to tell you who that is.
Terry Bradshaw : [Sees Smokey's police car drive onto the football field] Haha, Buford T. Justice.
'Bandit' : Could you hold him up for a while?
Terry Bradshaw : Oh, I'd be glad to. Hey Joe!
'Mean' Joe Greene : Yeah?
Terry Bradshaw : ...Tackle that car!
[Joe nods and gets in front of Smokey's car as it pulls up]
'Bandit' : Thanks, Ter!
Terry Bradshaw : You owe me, Bandit!
[Bandit drives off]
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'Bandit' : I got to quit this soon, or I'm gonna end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Carrie : [Gets angry at Bo and storms out of club ,he follows] That is it for you! You have had it! You're hooked! You're a fame junkie! They should give you intravenous feedings of People magazine and National Enquirer headlines!... And if you're a real good boy,they'll give you a Tonight Show enema!
'Bandit' : [Confused by her attitude] What is the matter?
Carrie : [Ignores him and concludes before leaving] ... and if you weren't so dumb,they'd put you on Cross-Wits!
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'Bandit' : Well, that's about enough
Cledus Snow : Well, how many is that?
'Bandit' : One
Cledus Snow : One? You did one yesterday
'Bandit' : I know, it hurt