The Big Chill (1983)

Kevin Kline: Harold

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sam Weber : In Hollywood, I don't know who to trust. I don't know who likes me or why they even do like me.

  Harold Cooper : Well you don't have that problem here.

  [Sam smiles] 

  Harold Cooper : You know I don't like you.

  Michael : Me neither.

  Meg : Ditto.

  [Gets up and leaves the room] 

  Harold Cooper : So relax.

  Sam Weber : [Rolls over on the floor, on his back, and pulls off one of his boots]  Assholes.

• Harold : [Harold, Sam, and Nick are trying to chase a bat out of the attic]  I'll open the window, maybe it'll split.

  [He opens the window; two more bats fly in] 

  Nick : Good, now we've got a fair fight.

• Nick : Since when did you get so friendly with cops? Harold?

  Harold : You know you're fuckin' stupid? Stupid, yeah. First off, that cop has twice kept this house from being ripped off. Happens to be a hell of a guy. And you...

  [turns away] 

  Nick : Come on, Harold. What is it?

  Harold : What is it with you? Is jail another "experience" you want to "try?" See what that's "like?" You know, I live here. This place means something to me. I'm dug in. I don't need this shit.

• Harold : Nick, help me with all these bleeding hearts!

  Nick : I know what Alex would say.

  Harold : What?

  Nick : What's for dessert?

• Michael : Harold, don't you have any other music , you know, from this century?

  Harold : There is no other music, not in my house.

  Michael : There's been a lot of terrific music in the last ten years.

  Harold : Like what?

• Harold : [preparing to order shoes for everyone]  Feet grow as you get older.

  Michael : I wish everything did.

• Karen : How about you Michael? So tell us about the world of big time journalism.

  Sam Weber : Yeah.

  Michael : Well iwhere I work we only have one editorial rule. You can't write anything longer than it takes your average person to take an average crap.

  [everyone laughs] 

  Michael : I'm getting tired of everything I write being read in the can.

  Harold : You can read Dostoyevsky in the can.

  Michael : Yes, but they can't finish it.

• Harold : Tell me. Tell me.

  Meg : It's not going to come out right.

  Harold : Try.

  Meg : Oh. I feel like I got a great break on a used car.

• Karen : [smoking a joint, passes it to Harold]  No... I know that Richard will always be faithful to me.

  Harold : [takes the joint, about to smoke it]  That's nice. You trust.

  Karen : [shaking her head]  Fear of herpes.

  [Harold stops short of putting the joint in his mouth] 

• Harold : I always thought masturbation was the ultimate act of self-absorption.

  Sam Weber : Do you jerk off?

  Harold : Does a bear have fleas?

  Sam Weber : No, no, "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

  Harold : Does a bear jerk off?

  Nick : You know, I shit in the woods, but I can't jerk off.

• Harold : I'm about to tell you something I'm not supposed to tell anyone.

  Nick : Then maybe you shouldn't.

  Harold : I already told Alex.

  Nick : Look what happened to him.

• Harold : Getting away from you people was the best thing to ever happen to me. I mean, how much sex, fun, friendship can one man take?

• Sarah : I want you to do something for me.

  Harold : Anything. I'd marry you, if you want. No, wait. I did that.

  Sarah : Yes, you did. Thank God. It's about Meg.

• Harold : Who's this?

  Harold and Sarah's Son : Jeremiah.

  Harold : Jeremiah?

  Harold and Sarah's Son : He's a Jeremiah.

  Harold : Jeremiah! Oh, it's Jeremiah versus Moby Dick.

  Harold and Sarah's Son : [singing]  Jeremiah was a bullfrog, Was a good friend of mine,

  Harold : Alright!

  Harold and Sarah's Son : Never understood a single word he said, But I helped him drink his wine, Singing joy to the world, All the boys and girls now, Joy to the fishes, In the deep blue sea, Joy to you and me.

• Harold : By telling you this, I've violated about 16 regulations of the Securities Exchange Commission. So, please don't repeat it.

  Nick : Repeat what?

• Harold : Not all of us have been able to see each other much these last years. But neither time nor distance could break the bonds that we feel.