Heaven Help Us (1985)

Malcolm Danare: Caesar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Caesar : I will reason with him, I'll appeal to his better nature!

  Rooney : Oh, you're gonne reason with a grown man in a dress?

• [Caesar's desk falls apart when Brother sits on it] 

  Brother Constance : Oh, you'll pay for that Caesar!

  Caesar : [indignantly]  But, Brother my screws are gone!

• Caesar : Welcome to St. Basil's!

• Rooney : [yelling to Dunn from across the street]  Come here, kid! I'm not gonna bite ya!

  Caesar : I wouldn't count on it.

• Rooney : [locked in a dark closet with the others]  I think that faggot figured out who did it.

  Caesar : [sarcastically]  What gives you that idea?

  Corbet : Well, what are you gonna tell him?

  Caesar : [sarcastically]  Let's see, you're sitting in the assembly with a saint's head in your lap. I'd tell him you found it in a box of Cracker Jacks.

  Rooney : [thinking Caesar was serious]  No, that's no good. We gotta think of something better than that.

  Corbet : Hey, Williams, what are you doing?

  Rooney : Corbet, shut up!

  Corbet : Yeah, but Williams is playing with himself in here!

  Rooney : All right, I got it! Listen, this is what we'll tell him when he comes back... We'll tell him...

  [not able to come up with a plausible excuse] 

  Rooney : We'll tell him we don't know what the fuck he's talkin' about!

• Caesar : [despairingly]  I'll never ever get into Harvard now. I'll have to settle for Queen's College.

  Caesar : [sarcastically]  Well, you should feel right at home in QUEEN'S College!

• Brother Constance : Are you familiar with the term "miserable"? Because miserable is what I'm going to make your miserable lives, every miserable minute of every miserable day!

  Rooney , Caesar , Michael Dunn , Corbet , Williams : Yes, Brother.

  Brother Constance : Yes Brother what?

  Rooney , Caesar , Michael Dunn , Corbet , Williams : Yes Brother, miserable, Brother.

• Michael Dunn : Can't decide?

  Caesar : Oh, I've decided all right, Dunn. I've decided I'd rather die than eat this crap!

• Rooney : [taking the place of the priest during Caeser's confession]  So, any impure thoughts, desires?

  Caesar : No, Father.

  Rooney : Really? What they hell kind of faggot are you? Here's what your gonna do. You're gonna do fifty Our Fathers and fifty Hail Marys and you're gonna help your buddy Rooney with his homework.

  Caesar : There is no God.