Head Office (1985)

Diane Robin: Gross' Secretary

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gross' Secretary : [into a phone]  Mr. Yonge's on three. He's just seen the campaign. He sounds upset.

  Howard Gross : [into the phone]  Tell him to hold!

  Gross' Secretary : Mr. Raybeck's on four. He's also seen the campaign. He also sounds upset.

  Howard Gross : Tell Raybeck to hold!

  Gross' Secretary : Your wife's on five from the hospital. Her father just passed away.

  Howard Gross : Tell my wife to hold!

  Gross' Secretary : Your mechanic's on six. He wants to talk to you abour your Mercedes. That's all.

  Howard Gross : [calms down]  Put my mechanic on.

  [clicks switch and begins talking in a calm and happy tone] 

  Howard Gross : Hey. How are you doing, Lars?

  Mechanic : [voice]  Hello, Mr. Gross. How are you? Good talk to you.

  Howard Gross : [into the phone]  I'm fine. No, I'm great. You guys, you guys are great! You guys are great, are ya kiddin'?

  Mechanic : Yeah, well we're having a problem with your car.

  Howard Gross : [talking over]  Is my car gonna be ready or what?

  Mechanic : [voice]  It's more then just an oil leak.

  Howard Gross : [not registering yet]  Yeah.

  Mechanic : I'm afraid we'll have to also fix the transmission. Uh, $2500, I'd say.

  Howard Gross : What are you talkin' about? No no no no, just oil. I just wanted oil.

  Mechanic : [voice]  Plus labor, we're talking maybe $4,000 even.

  Howard Gross : [suddenly angry again; talking fast]  You don't have my money- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- no, what do you mean? You wanna come over and see my driveway? I got no oil on my driveway! What are you talkin'- what are you talkin' about a leak? You guys know what it is? You guys are a bunch of goniffs! You bring in a car, you bring it in, put a leak in it which could cost me if it's under warranty...

  Howard Gross : You guys are goniffs! You guys are worse- you-you guys are worse than-than-! You guys think you have a monopoly on the whole thing because you have a goddamn dealership there? You're crazy! I bring in at 15, I bring in at 25, bring it in at 35 for a goddamn oil change! That's under warranty, that transmission! I'm workin' here all day long! I'm 35 years old! I'm the head of this division! I'm gonna have a goddamn heart attack trying to pay for this car!

• Gross' Secretary : [into the phone as a medic is trying to recessitate the dead Gross]  I'm sorry Mr. Gross isn't available.

  Yonge's Secretary : [voice]  Well, where is he?

  Gross' Secretary : Well, I wouldn't tell what Mr. Gross is doing right now. He's... being busy.

  Medic : [to Gross' Secretary]  He's dead.

  Gross' Secretary : [into the phone]  He's dead.

  Medic : [exits]  I'll call the coronor.

  Yonge's Secretary : [voice]  Well, let's make it after lunch.

  Gross' Secretary : After lunch is just as bad. Mr. Gross is dead. He'll still be dead after lunch.

  Yonge's Secretary : [voice]  Look, Mr. Yonge is a very busy man. He gets very upset...

  Gross' Secretary : Yes, I know Mr. Yonge gets upset when we cancel business meetings, but I regret to inform you that Mr. Gross has passed away.

  Yonge's Secretary : [voice]  Passed away? You mean you're not joking? He's really dead?

  Gross' Secretary : No longer alive, correct.

  Yonge's Secretary : [voice]  Try aspirin or if he's having a heart attack...

  Gross' Secretary : The man is dead! He's turning green as we speak. Mr. Gross is not going to make it to lunch and he's not going to make it to the meeting. So if Mr. Yonge wants to see Mr. Gross that badly, I'll ship Mrs. Gross' body down there by internal mail!