Shanghai Surprise (1986)
Sean Penn: Glendon Wasey
Photos
Quotes
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Ho Chong : And you, Reverend Lady, would care for protection for treasured parts?
Gloria Tatlock : No, thank you.
Ho Chong : Your lips and ears, perhaps?
Gloria Tatlock : Thank you, I said no.
Ho Chong : Your twin pagodas, maybe?
Gloria Tatlock : Definitely not!
Ho Chong : Surely, you want to protect your haven of celestial bliss?
Gloria Tatlock : How dare you!
Glendon Wasey : I don't think the haven's in much danger.
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Glendon Wasey : Look at that.
[shows him a tattoo outline of a naked lady]
Glendon Wasey : He didn't even finish the nipples on my little sweetheart.
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Glendon Wasey : There's probably 10,000 rickshaw boys in Shanghai. We're going to need a miracle.
"Mr. Burns" : You forget my calling, Mr. Wasey. I believe in miracles.
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Ho Chong : Like Western companies, I insure those parts of the body deemed most precious by my customers.
Glendon Wasey : How big a policy we got to buy to find Wu Ch'En She?
Ho Chong : Here's a fine bargain: the armpits, the genitals and both ankles. Only 40 Shanghai dollars.
Glendon Wasey : What have you got for 30?
Ho Chong : For 30 dollars, I could do the armpits, the genitals, and both ankles; but, I could not find Wu Ch'En She!
Glendon Wasey : Okay, how about, the armpits, the genitals...
Gloria Tatlock : Mr. Wasey, would you please conclude this transaction.
Glendon Wasey : All right. We take your 40 dollar policy.
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Glendon Wasey : A missionary lying! It's like pissing all over God's uniform.
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Glendon Wasey : You're looking for Faraday's flowers?
Gloria Tatlock : You've heard of them?
Glendon Wasey : I've also heard of El Dorado and the lost Dutchman's mine. They don't exist either. You're crazy!
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Glendon Wasey : Lunatics? You are worst than lunatics. Two missionaries and a glow-in-the-dark tie salesman do not just stroll up to people and ask if they've seen a 1,000 pounds of opium lying around.
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Glendon Wasey : This time they threw us in the fish; next time, we get grinded into cat food.
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China Doll : A good concubine always paints a whisper of pleasure to come upon her emperor.
[paints a Chinese symbol on Wasey's chest]
China Doll : Do you know what this means?
Glendon Wasey : Horse.
China Doll : Now you must paint on me. Do you know the symbol of for the whip?
Glendon Wasey : Whip? I'll try.
China Doll : Tonight, we shall begin with the whip and the horse.
Glendon Wasey : Whip? Where are we going to find a whip at this time of night?
China Doll : Where else? But, at the end of the horse's tail.
[sitting atop Wasey, swings her long black hair across his naked chest]
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Joe Go : Joe Go know fast ball, curve ball, change up, even the elusive screwball. But, what the hell was this wondrous pitch?
Glendon Wasey : Knuckleball.
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Glendon Wasey : I wish you'd give up this opium business and just go back to saving souls.
Gloria Tatlock : Mr. Wasey, believe me, I'm not some little lamb whose lost in the woods.
Glendon Wasey : No, you're not lost in the woods. You're lost in a jungle. Shanghai's the most dangerous city...
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Gloria Tatlock : You deceitful, jelly-spined, backstabbing bastard!
Glendon Wasey : You didn't learn that in Brookline, Massachusetts.
Gloria Tatlock : No! I got it from associating with - with pricks like you!
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Glendon Wasey : Perhaps I'll stay around here awhile.
Gloria Tatlock : And do what?
Glendon Wasey : I could give being a missionary a try.
Walter Faraday : There'll be no drinking, no gambling, no whoring. My boy, I've tried it. It's hell on earth.
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"Mr. Burns" : Mr, eh?
Glendon Wasey : Wasey. Glendon Wasey.