Short Circuit (1986)

Ally Sheedy: Stephanie Speck

Photos 

Quotes 

• Number 5 : Malfunction. Need input.

  Stephanie Speck : Input. That's information! Listen, I am full of it.

• Stephanie Speck : Life is NOT a malfunction.

• Newton Crosby : OK. Listen closely. There's a priest, a minister, and a rabbi. They're out playing golf. They're deciding how much to give to charity. The priest says "We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money in the air, and whatever lands inside the circle, we'll give to charity." The minister says "No, we'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle, that's what we'll give to charity." The rabbi says "No no no. We'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps!"

  Number 5 : Hmmmm. Oh, I get it! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! Nyuk, nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!

  Stephanie Speck : What's going on? Is he laughing?

  Newton Crosby : Yeah! Yeah! And the joke wasn't even that funny, and I think I screwed up the punchline. Ha ha ha ha!

  Number 5 : "Whatever God wants, he keeps!"

• [Stephanie is in the bath] 

  Number 5 : [confused]  Stephanie... change color!

  Stephanie Speck : [looks down, embarrassed, reaches for a towel]  Uh...

  Number 5 : Attractive! Nice software. Mmm.

  Stephanie Speck : Boy, you sure don't talk like a machine.

• Stephanie Speck : You're a robot? I thought you were alive, Number 5. I let you tear my house to shreds and you're a robot! You're a machine from that dumb war lab place. God, I'm so stupid!

  Number 5 : Stupid - foolish, gullible, doltish, dumbell, lamebrain...

  Stephanie Speck : Shut up!

  Number 5 : Shut up - silence, hush, sit on it, can it...

• Frank : How, robot. Me - friend.

  Stephanie Speck : Talk computer, not Apache.

• Stephanie Speck : [taking N5 for an extraterrestrial being]  Oh, my God! I knew they'd pick me. I just knew it!... Hello? Well, I guess... Welcome to my planet!

• Stephanie Speck : [to Number 5 whose been watching TV all night]  Haven't you had enough of this stuff? You know, you lose IQ points the longer you watch. There have been actual studies. Look, you're going to become the first alien couch potato.

• Number 5 : [on seeing the Sun]  Oooooo! Beautiful. Light bulb.

  Stephanie Speck : No - sun.

  Number 5 : Beautiful No-sun.

• Stephanie Speck : But you can't die. You're a machine.

  Number 5 : No.

  Stephanie Speck : No, you're not a machine?

  Number 5 : Yes.

  Stephanie Speck : Yes, you are, or yes, you're not?

  Number 5 : Yes.

  Stephanie Speck : Yes, WHAT?

  Number 5 : Yes, not.

  Stephanie Speck : Talk about a malfunction.

• Stephanie Speck : What planet is this guy from?

• Stephanie Speck : [on the phone]  Yes, I'd like to speak to one of your head warmongers, please.

  Duke : Dr. Warmonger - I mean, Dr. Marner!

• Newton Crosby : Are you sure you weren't doing any steering or anything like that?

  Stephanie Speck : Yeah, I like to drive off cliffs.

• Stephanie Speck : [they're heading for the cliff]  Oh, no - Jeez! Number Five, we're gonna be killed!

  Number 5 : Disassemble?

  Stephanie Speck : Yes, disassemble ALL OVER THE PLACE!

• Frank : [explaining why he'd just been trying to capture Steph's dog]  ... you know he looked kinda sick to me, so I thought I'd just take 'im down to the vet and fix 'im up a little bit.

  Stephanie Speck : He doesn't look sick. YOU look sick.

• Stephanie Speck : [to a possible client, over the phone]  Oh... I'm sorry, I - but I just... I have to draw the line at SNAKES. Yeah, I'm sure it would make a wonderful pet - but... Wait, isn't there a home for cobras somewhere?

• Stephanie Speck : [to N5 reciting TV commercials]  OK, you didn't come a million miles to do television commercials, did you?

• Stephanie Speck : [ending her phone conversation with NOVA's Marner]  ... never mind, go back to your nuclear warheads.

• Stephanie Speck : Boy am I the jerk of the world!

  Number 5 : Jerk of the world: Turkey, idiot, pain in the ass.

• Newton Crosby : Let me tell you something. I don't like those NOVA guys any more than you do. In fact, I don't care if they ever get Number 5 back. But I wanna see it.

  Stephanie Speck : If I show you where he is, do I have your word: You will not experiment on him, you will not flip the switches, and you will not take him apart?

  Newton Crosby : Absolutely. You have my word.

  Stephanie Speck : Okay. He's out back. I'll take you to him.

  Skroeder : [walks up to them]  Well, while you're at it, young lady, you can take me, too.

  Newton Crosby : [surprised]  Skroeder!

  Skroeder : Terrific job, Crosby. Thanks for the help.

  Newton Crosby : No. I had nothing to do with this!

  Stephanie Speck : You bastard! You're a liar!

• Frank : [to Number 5]  Listen, why don't you say we jump in my car and I'll take you home.

  Stephanie Speck : [knowingly]  Uh, tell him where home is.

  Frank : Uh, home is NOVA.

  [Beasley barks] 

  Number 5 : [throws tray at Frank]  NOVA? NO! No disassemble!

  Stephanie Speck : Run, Number 5, run!

  Number 5 : Come on, treads, don't fail me now!

  Frank : [runs after him]  You tricked me, you little bitch!

  Stephanie Speck : Oh, does this mean I don't get my $5,000? Well, forget it! FORGET IT! He can run thirty miles an hour, you big stupid JERK!

  Frank : [grabs her]  Hey, I'll show you how stupid I am! Guess who's gonna help me catch him!

  Stephanie Speck : No, I'd rather die first!

  Frank : [sees that his Pontiac is gone]  What the hell happened to my car?

  Number 5 : Hi!

  [Frank's car is shown totally dismantled] 

  Number 5 : Piece of cake!

  Frank : Oh, my God! My car!

  Stephanie Speck : [smiles]  Oh, way to go, Number 5!

• Number 5 : [spilling and dumping the contents out of the glasses and boxes on Stephanie's counter]  Drinking glass... Pasta, spaghetti!

  Stephanie Speck : [picking up one of her kittens away from Number 5's mess]  Very good...

  Number 5 : [dumping out spaghetti sauce out of a sauce pan]  Liquid, spaghetti sauce...

  Stephanie Speck : Look! This may be funny from where you come from! But on this planet, it's considered rude!

  Number 5 : [distracted by baskets of fruit]  Oooo... Baskets... fruit!

  [proceeds to dump the fruit out of the metal baskets by pushing the baskets upward] 

  Number 5 : [as he dumps the fruit]  Oranges, Apples, Lemons, Limes...

  Stephanie Speck : [sarcastically]  Why great! Thanks a lot!

• Number 5 : Escape, escape! Please, hide! Refuge!

  Stephanie Speck : What are you afraid of? What's the matter with you?

  Number 5 : N.O.V.A. robotics, disassemble, dead! Disassemble, Number 5 dead!

  Stephanie Speck : But you can't die, you're a machine!

  Number 5 : No.

  Stephanie Speck : No, you're not a machine?

  Number 5 : Yes!

  Stephanie Speck : Yes you are, or yes you're not?

  Number 5 : Yes...

  Stephanie Speck : Yes, what?

  Number 5 : Yes... not.

  Stephanie Speck : Talk about a malfunction!

  Number 5 : Not malfunction, Stephanie... Number 5... is alive!

• [last lines] 

  Number 5 : Number 5 stupid name; want to be Kevin, or Dave.

  Newton Crosby : Just watch the road, okay?

  Number 5 : Maybe Johnny... Yeah, Johnny 5.

  Stephanie Speck : Yes!

  Newton Crosby : Cool.

• Stephanie Speck : I'm a friend. Friend? Do you know the word - friend? Cause, that's what I am. I am a friend; so, here I come! Nice and *extremely* friendly.

• Stephanie Speck : Is that really you or is that like a space suit and you're inside someplace - maybe just your brain in a little jar or something like that?

• Stephanie Speck : Why don't you come in my house and we can sit down and talk. Get to know each other. Communicate. Input. Come on!

• Stephanie Speck : You are - here. Here! Oregon.

  Number 5 : Or-e-gon.

  Stephanie Speck : Home of the beaver. Famous for cherries.

  Number 5 : Beavers! Cherries! Input!

  Stephanie Speck : I'm giving you great input.

  Number 5 : More input! More input!

• Stephanie Speck : I can't reassemble. You squashed him. He's dead.

  Number 5 : Dead?

  Stephanie Speck : Right. Dead - as in dead as a doornail.

  Number 5 : Reassemble, Stephanie. Reassemble!

  Stephanie Speck : I know you don't understand. But, when you're dead - you're dead. It's just the way it is. Dead is forever.

  Number 5 : Squash. Dead. Disassemble. Dead. Disassemble? Dead!

  Stephanie Speck : Hey, slow down!

  Number 5 : No dissemble!

  Stephanie Speck : Hey, wait! Where are you going?

  Number 5 : Leave! Escape!

• Newton Crosby : Look, lady, all I can see is that something mechanical was screwed up and I'm gonna fix it. Okay?

  Stephanie Speck : Okay, fine. Fix it, Einstein!

  Newton Crosby : I plan to.

• Reporter : Did he try to molest you in any way?

  Stephanie Speck : No, he's not that kind of a robot.

• Stephanie Speck : Okay. Okay. Turn off the TV. It's time for bed.

  Number 5 : Come on, Steph! Lighten up! Let's give it a whirl!

  Stephanie Speck : Hey!

  Number 5 : Yeah!

  Stephanie Speck : Listen, you! It's 3 AM.

  Number 5 : It's early!

  Stephanie Speck : I mean, don't you ever get enough?

• Stephanie Speck : Hey, you know what? You're - you're not a bad dancer.

  Number 5 : Dancing fool!

• Stephanie Speck : I'm going to bed and, in the morning, you have to find yourself a new home.

  Number 5 : This, home. Stephanie, home. Number 5, home.

  Stephanie Speck : Oh, Number 5, you don't know what you're saying.

  Number 5 : Number 5, know.

  [sings] 

  Number 5 : "More than a woman - More than a woman to me."

  Stephanie Speck : Oh, Number 5!

  [laughs] 

• Stephanie Speck : I'm lost. I don't know where to go.

  Number 5 : Strategy.

  Stephanie Speck : What about it?

  Number 5 : Need some. Quick!

• Stephanie Speck : Here's the deal: Number 5 is alive. I mean, he is *really* alive, like you and me. You see?

  Newton Crosby : I understand. They can seem quite life-like. But, they are still machines. Just like your stereo or your vacuum cleaner.

  Stephanie Speck : No. I know he's a machine. You're a machine. I'm a machine. We're alive! How it happens, who the hell knows? But, it has happened.

• Stephanie Speck : [sarcastically]  Great idea! Newton Crosby, P-h-Dork!

• Stephanie Speck : If one of them comes near you, you blast 'em! Just burn his butt with your laser.

• Stephanie Speck : You - kidnapped him?

  Number 5 : Kidnap: Shanghai, hijack.

• Stephanie Speck : youre a robot? i let you tear my house to shreads and youre a robot? god i am so stupid.

• Stephanie Speck : Boy am i the jerk of the world.

• Stephanie Speck : yeah i know that you think youre alive but those guys who bulit you say no way so i dont know what to think anymore.

• Stephanie Speck : That creep! I should have known. Every time I think a guy's gonna be okay, he turns out to be a real jerk! All alike. All of them.

  Number 5 : Stephanie?

  Stephanie Speck : Well, the next time they mess with us, we're gonna kick ass!

  Number 5 : Kick ass? Donkey, mule, burro.

• Stephanie Speck : This may be hilarious where you come from, but on this planet it's considered rude.

• Stephanie Speck : [about the SAINT robots]  So - what are these guys used for, anyway?

  Ben Jabituya : It's top-secret crap.

  Stephanie Speck : That's what I figured.

• Stephanie Speck : ...Where're you taking him?

  Ben Jabituya : This is not being a HIM. It's only being wires and several mechanisms and other such machine-type apparatus, for the Pete of sake - the sake of Peeckle...

• Stephanie Speck : Would you quit doing that!

  Ben Jabituya : You think I'm doing it for my own self-gratification?

• Frank : [after Number 5 defeats him]  I'm calling NOVA and I'm calling the cops!

  [to Stephanie] 

  Frank : And as for you, you little pain-in-the-neck, you better not come crawling back to me, because now it's over!

  Stephanie Speck : GOOD!

• Stephanie Speck : [as Number 5 hijacks her truck]  You better be heavily insured or you're going to find yourself slapped with that humongous LAWSUIT!

• Stephanie Speck : i cant reassemble him you squashed him he's dead