Raising Arizona (1987)

Holly Hunter: Ed

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Quotes 

• Ed McDonnough : You mean you busted out of jail.

  Evelle : No, ma'am. We released ourselves on our own recognizance.

  Gale : What Evelle here is trying to say is that we felt that the institution no longer had anything to offer us.

• H.I. : Wake up, Son.

  [aims gun at the clerk] 

  H.I. : I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got.

  Ed McDonnough : [sees H.I. from the car]  That son' bitch. That son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!

  H.I. : Better hurry it up, I'm in dutch with the wife.

• Ed McDonnough : [sobbing]  Turn to the right.

  H.I. : What's the matter, Ed?

  Ed McDonnough : My "fy-ance" left me.

  H.I. : [narrating]  She said her fiancé had run off with a student cosmetologist, who knew how to ply her feminine wiles.

  H.I. : [out loud]  That sumbitch. You tell him, I think he's a damn fool, Ed. You tell him I said so - H.I. McDonnough. If he wants to discuss it, he knows where to find me: in the Maricopa County Maximum Security Correctional Facility For Men State Farm, Road Number 31, Tempe, Arizona! I'LL BE WAITIN'! I'll be waitin'.

• H.I. : What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like you?

  Ed McDonnough : Short for Edwina. Turn to the right.

  H.I. : You're a flower, you are. Just a little desert flower.

• Ed McDonnough : I don't care about myself anymore. I don't care about us anymore. I just want Nathan Jr back safe.

  H.I. : I know that.

  Ed McDonnough : If we don't get him back safe, I don't want to go on livin' and even if we do get him back safe, I don't want to go on livin' with you. I guess I still love you, Hi. I-I know I do. I'm not even blaming you. The whole thing's crazy, and...

  H.I. : Well, factually, I myself...

  Ed McDonnough : Lemme finish. Ever since those two jailbirds took little Nathan, I've been doin' some thinkin' and I ain't too proud of myself. Even if Mrs. Arizona had more than she could handle, I was a police officer swarned to uphold the constitution of the United States.

  H.I. : Well, honey, you retired...

  Ed McDonnough : That ain't the point, Hi! We don't deserve little Nathan any more than those jailbirds do. And if I'm as selfish and irresponsible as you...

  H.I. : You're not that bad...

  Ed McDonnough : If I'm as bad as you, what good are we? What good are we to each other? You and me's just a fool's paradise.

• Ed McDonnough : Give me that baby, you warthog from hell!

• Dot : I'm sure you have the life insurance squared away?

  Ed McDonnough : Have we done that honey? We gotta do that honey!

  Dot : You gotta do that HI! Ed's got her hands full with this little angel.

  H.I. : Yes, ma'am.

  Dot : What would Ed and little angel do if a truck came along and splattered your brains all over the interstate?

  Ed McDonnough : Yeah honey! What if you get run over?

  Dot : Or carried off by a twister?

• Ed McDonnough : What would have happened if me and Ed Junior got picked up for accessory to commit armed robbery?

  H.I. : Aw, it ain't armed robbery if the gun ain't loaded.

• Gale : Why ain't you breast-feedin'? You appear to be capable.

  Ed McDonnough : Mind your own bid'ness.

  Evelle : Ma'am, you don't breast-feed him, he'll hate you for it later. That's why we wound up in prison.

  Gale : Anyway, that's what Doc Schwartz tells us.

• Ed McDonnough : We finally go out with decent people and you break his nose. That ain't too funny, Hi.

  H.I. : His kids seemed to think it was funny.

  Ed McDonnough : Well they're just kids.

• Nathan Arizona Sr. : All right, boy, I guess you got a reward coming. Twenty-five thousand dollars. Or, if you need home furnishings, I can give you a line of credit at any of my stores. In fact, that's the way I'd rather handle it. Tax reasons.

  Ed McDonnough : We don't want no reward. We didn't bring him back for money.

  Nathan Arizona Sr. : We can work it that way, too!

• Ed McDonnough : I love him so much!

  H.I. : I know you do, honey.

  Ed McDonnough : I love him so much!

  H.I. : I know you do.

• H.I. : He's a scandal in't he, he's a little outlaw.

  Ed McDonnough : Naw, he-he-he's a good boy.

  H.I. : He ain't too good, you can tell by that twinkle in his eye.

• H.I. : A man for a husband.

  Ed McDonnough : That ain't no answer.

  H.I. : Honey, that's the only answer.

  Ed McDonnough : That ain't no answer.

• Ed McDonnough : You guys just can't stay. I appreciate you being friends of Hi and all but this is a decent family here.

  Gale : [Quietly, to H.I]  Say, who wears the pants around here, H.I.?

• Ed McDonnough : Don't be so loud around him.

  H.I. : Damn, l'm sorry.

  Ed McDonnough : Don't cuss around him.

  H.I. : He don't know a cuss word from Shinola.

  Ed McDonnough : Well, you see that he don't.

• Ed McDonnough : I'm not gonna live this way, Hi! It just ain't family life!

  H.I. : Well... it ain't "Ozzie and Harriet."

• Dot : [GASPS after seeing Nathan Jr]  What's his name?

  Ed McDonnough : Uh... Hi... Hi Junior, till we think of a better one.

  Dot : Why don't ya call him Jason? l just love biblical names. If I had another little boy, I'd name him Jason, Caleb or Tab.

  [GASPS; covers her face with her hands and looks through her fingers] 

  Dot : He's an angel! He's an angel straight from heaven! Now honey, I had all my kids the hard way. Tell me how you got this little angel. Did he fly straight down from heaven?

  Ed McDonnough : Well...

  Dot : You're gonna send him to Arizona State.

• H.I. : [voice over]  Ed feIt that havin'a critter was the next IogicaI step. It was all she thought about. Her point was that there was too much Iove and beauty for just the two of us. Every day we kept a chiId out of the worId was a day he might Iater regret havin' missed.

  Ed McDonnough : [viewing a sunset]  That was beautiful.

  H.I. : [voice over]  So we worked at it on the days we caIcuIated most IikeIy to be fruitfuI. And we worked at it most other days, just to be sure.

• Ed McDonnough : lt's true that Hi has had a checkered past.

  H.I. : But Ed here is an officer of the law twice decorated, so we figure it kinda evens out.

• H.I. : Hear about the paddy wagon collidin' with the cement mixer, Ed? Twelve hardened criminals escaped.

  Ed McDonnough : l heard that one.

• H.I. : You all right?

  Ed McDonnough : Well, he's all right. He was just havin' a nightmare.

  [singing a lullaby to Junior] 

  Ed McDonnough : My race is run beneath the sun, The scaffold now waits for me, For l did murder that dear little girl...

• Gale : Got a name, does he?

  H.I. : So far we just been usin' Junior.

  Ed McDonnough : We call him Junior.

  Evelle : You mean JR, just like the TV show? That's good!

• Ed McDonnough : You two are leavin' tomorrow mornin'. Now, l got nothin' against you, but you're wanted by the authorities. And you're a bad influence in this household in my opinion.

  Gale : Well, ma'am, we sure didn't mean to influence anybody.

  Evelle : And if we did, ma'am, we - we apologize.